Chapter 4 is the start of Part 2, where we will be learning about the new ABCs of Selling. Instead of Always Be Selling we are now Attunement-Buoyancy- Clarity.
This chapter is only discussing the A, Attunement. Pink starts off with two exercises to see how well we can see someone else's perspective
Exercise 1:
You need someone else for this one. One person needs to snap their fingers on their dominant hand 5x as fast as they can. Snap another 5x even quicker. Then using your index finger on the dominant hand draw the letter E.
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Results: Depending on how you write the E, being from your perspective or the person facing you, can measure how much you use the other peoples perspective while thinking.
Exercise 2:
You and a colleague Maria go out to a fancy restaurant. Maria's friend Ken is the one who recommended it. The experience at the restaurant is horrible, long waits, bad food. The next day Maria emails Ken "About the restaurant, it was marvelous, just marvelous." How does Ken interpret the email sincere or sacarstic?
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Results: Since Ken has no idea how the meal went he will assume it was a sincere email. If you believe he interprets the email sincerely, you will be better at taking someone else's perspective.
Pink then goes on to site studies showing when split into 3 groups being Empathetic, try to understand the other's feelings; Perspective Taker, understand what the other is thinking, and a Control group. The perspective takers always are the top performers but making the most deals and the most economic efficiency. Being empathetic outperforms the control group, but isn't as well as taking the other's perspective. Researchers say "more beneficial to get inside their heads than to have them inside one's own heart."
Another part of Attunement is understanding other groups' dynamics, to understand who are the critical players.
Pink then discusses the importance of mimicking what the other does. Continued studies in situations like interviews, sales meetings, and negotiations, the subject group that mimics always outperforms the other. An applier of success in those situations is also touch. Waiters will get bigger tips, car salespeople sell more, and interviewees get the offer when they are able to physically touch each other.
The next few pages discuss the fallacy of extroverts making successful sales reps. Studies show there is a connection of hiring managers giving better performance reviews to extroverts, but when it comes to performance there isn't much of a connection. However, the ambiverts are consistently the top-performing reps. If you take extrovertence as a scale out of 7. In a study, Introverts ranked 1 and 2 on the scale to 7 will bring in $120/hr in revenue, Extroverts who are 6 and 7 on the scale bring in $125/hr in rev, while Ambiverts ranked themselves 3-5 on the scale brought in 155/hr in rev. Individuals who ranked them 4/7 on the scale brought in the most at 208/hr. Pink says this is goldilocks-like, where the middle is just right for performance in sales. Extroverts will forget to listen and stumble over, and introverts still can be a times to shy to close. Later Pink gives tips to help sales reps heavy one side. Extroverts simply need to hold back and introverts need to practice their "ask" in meetings to be more confident
Conversation Starter
Pink then ends on a case study where it starts by saying "Where are you from" as the best conversation starter. Given it allows the other to answer in many different ways (where they live now, want to be, or grew up).
Best Way to Mimick:
Pink then says the best way to mimic is to Watch what they are doing; Wait 15 seconds before starting to mimic; Wane, try to make it natural.
Empty Chair: Pinks talks about the example of how Amazon practices attunement by always having an empty chair for the customer in all of the meetings.
Time Traveler Exercise:
Another example of a way to practice your attunement is getting something that doesn't exist 300 years ago (an example is a traffic cone) and explaining it to someone pretending to be from the 1700s, this forces you to completely rethink your message and put yourself in the other person shoes to do well in the exercise.
Discussion Map:
Draw the names of everyone in a meeting, right an X by the name every time they talk, and draw an arrow from one to another each time someone calls someone out. Also, take notes on the mood throughout the meeting, is it easy going then change to tense? You can now see who are the movers who impact the discussion the most in the meeting.
Mirror Mirror:
Play the game of mirror mirror and take notes your thought process and how you start to improve.
Find uncommon commonalities:
Pink talks about a study that states that people trust others similar to them because they remind them of themselves. Talking about commonalities can be said it's just small talk, but it really helps when trying to move them.
Takeaways:
There were tons of exercises, In the E test I was shown to focus more on myself, and the opposite with the Ken test.
Since managers think highly of extroverts, I might try being more extroverted in internal meetings. But still, ambivert when meeting with clients.
Really reminds me of some of the posts of @GingerBarbarian when talking about how extroverts are thought of too highly in the interviewing process
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