DrunkenArt

Sales Representative

Valued Contributor

Strongly Considering Leaving Sales....

Ever since my Dad suddenly passed away, I just haven't been the same. My activity numbers have really dipped and so has my closing ratio. These days it's a challenge to even get out of bed. In terms of a job, I have the best boss I've ever worked for and a territory in my current hometown, but I just don't have any joy in what I'm doing anymore. Even when I close deals, I just don't feel anything. Most people don't know, my Dad was also the reason I got into sales and was also a big mentor for my career and I really miss calling him and hearing his excitement after I got the ink, or laughing about how I completely bombed a meeting and how I'll get the next one. Just having a really hard time with simple tasks and I feel like I'm letting my boss and my team down by not posting any good numbers. I've been wondering over the past month if sales is even right for me anymore. I've been getting counseling and if my mental health doesn't improve, I don't really see another option.

🙏 Mental Wellness

37

50 comments

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poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

15

☕️

First of all, I am sincerely sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is something I have experienced, and I cannot imagine your pain.

This is a case where a little distance and time may be the only answer. Does your company provide long term disability to cover a leave of absence? 8 weeks to properly grieve and recover may provide you with the solace and resolve you need to get back to your career. There’s no need to feel shame about this, it is something that would bring the best rep or CEO to their knees.

As stupid as it sounds from an online stranger, we are here for you.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

3

Sales Representative

Thanks, I do appreciate it. Sometimes online strangers can be helpful, especially from an outside perspective. I'm not a tenured rep yet and won't qualify for FMLA, but I might be able to do short term. I'll check with my HR, thanks again

funcoupons

WR Officer

12

👑

Very sorry for your loss. It's possible that sales isn't the career for you, but I think it's more likely that you're grieving and doing any job would be tough right now.

As @poweredbycaffeine mentioned, look into whether your company offers disability, or even an internal compassionate leave so you can have some time to yourself without worrying about metrics and quota. It would also be useful to look into whether your company offers an EAP - you can use it to access free counseling sessions. They often have dedicated resources for grief counselling that could prove to be a good outlet for you.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

2

Sales Representative

Thanks Coupons. We do have an EAP and they've been very helpful. We get 5 sessions and then we also have a free texting program (not the quickest responses, but what can you expect from a fortune 500 company?). Everyone has been really helpful on my team, which does make things easier.

funcoupons

WR Officer

4

👑

That’s good to hear. Don’t be afraid to ask your session provider for options past the five provided sessions. They’ll do their best to accommodate you and your budget.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

Our benefits here are incredible, that's a big reason why so many people stick around. There are tons of resources for me but I'll probably do some more research on the EAP, they came in great over the weekend when I was having a panic attack.

funcoupons

WR Officer

1

👑

Happy to hear you're being supported by your company. <3

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

10

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

@DrunkenArt I felt ALL of this my friend.... Lost my mother in 2020, a week before Christmas. My focus was F*cked, Numbers dipped and I could not have cared about any sale at all. I honestly couldn't feel ANYTHING for about 8 months... and then I lost my brother... I went completely numb (and kinda still am). Only thing I did to make a difference was go skydiving. And that BARELY moved the needle tbh. There's no quick fix or words of encouragement to get over the loss of a parent. You'll feel that loss forever, no way around it (and that's a good thing IMO, it means you really loved them).

Only thing I could say to help you get through this is that YOU WILL get through this, because you have to. You can't carry it with you the rest of your life, and your dad wouldn't want you to, right? Despite whatever your "beliefs" are, know that he's still watching you and rooting you on from the stands.

All of this was to say that simply changing your career or profession is probably not "the fix", though doing anything and everything different will feel "right", for a time. Tough to hear, but in tough times you need to address what's REALLY holding you back, and then nut up.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

4

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I'm so very sorry for your dual loss. I can't imagine.

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

3

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

Appreciate you.

funcoupons

WR Officer

4

👑

Sorry for your loss as well...that sounds horrible. Kudos to you for remaining strong.

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

3

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

Appreciate you. Its been a wild couple years. But its either bend or break, and im not breaking.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

I'm so sorry too, it really does f****** suck. I ended up losing my Dad on 11/24, Thanksgiving through Christmas was BRUTAL but I was able to keep myself busy with holiday stuff, now it's just a cold Midwest winter. I'm trying to focus on just doing 1 thing for myself daily, whether that be showering, walking around for a bit, or even just going to Starbucks to get out of the house. We're not a spiritual family, but I know there's moments where I can just feel like he's there, not sure if that makes any sense. Thank you for the kind words, stuff like that really helps

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

3

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

Sheesh... It really puts a damper on the holidays, doesn't it? Its the worst.... I still am not, and don't think I will ever be "over it". There's so many times I just want to talk to my mom or brother and the instinct to call or text kicks in, and then I remember I can't. I'm not spiritual either, but I purposely go on walks and talk to my mom. Share what's going on in my life, in my head and just express my feelings. I don't have a therapist or really anyone that can understand the turmoil of losing a parent, but talking to her in my private moments is incredibly calming and does put me at ease.

Many have said it already, but I'll reiterate. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, we are here for eachother. You ever want to talk outside of the war room I'd be happy to connect if you think thats something that would be helpful to you.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

I did drive his car back across the US back home to me and talked with him most of the way, it really helped when I had been staring at a windshield for 12 hours. My wife has been leaving me little to do lists to help me get through my day. Just simple stuff like, eat lunch, take a shower and then I started journaling as well. I can't believe I wasn't doing that years ago, makes such a difference.

Jewcan_Sam81

Politicker

4

Account Executive

Dude, so sorry to hear about this, so so hard. Honestly, even without a loss there are days where I wonder why I do this job, so I can't even imagine how rough it must be to come through the door and try to sell while working things out.

Step away. My sincere advice. Sales would only be a thing you'd want to do if it took your mind off this for a short while, and since it doesn't I'd say walk away for as long as you need. Even if you don't come back, that's cool too.

As pbc mentioned, we're here for you buddy, sending you all the best.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

The good thing about the company I work for is we're a giant corporate cult with positions pretty much everywhere for everything. I'll try to keep at sales for a bit and step away if I need to. Appreciate ya

Jewcan_Sam81

Politicker

1

Account Executive

That’s not the worst move. We harp on marketing a lot, but nothing will be more different from sales than putting on a Frozen-themed webinar that gets a 5 person turnout

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

It's always fun to poke fun at marketing, I firmly believe we can cut most of their team and survive quite well. But there are others that are extremely essential. I don't want to go on any sort of a pip, but I'll keep working my tail off as much as possible and try to be open and honest with my boss, as much as possible.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're clearly grieving, and honestly, making any major decision right now really isn't a good idea. As others have suggested, if you can get some time, that might be the best way for you to be able to mourn.

It's been 10 years since I lost my father, and I miss him, but the immediacy of the pain has gone. My family has moved forward, and we know he'd be (mostly) proud of us - as I bet your father was proud of you.

Again, my condolences.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

I appreciate it, thank you. My boss has been extremely lenient with me thus far and I don't want to keep taking advantage. She's out of town this week and will connect with her once she gets back.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

3

🦊

I am sorry for your loss. ❤

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

Thank you <3

JustGonnaSendIt

Politicker

2

Burn Towns, Get Money

I feel for you. So sorry to read this.

I, too, got into sales due to seeing my father's career. I lost him last March. The wound is still quite fresh.

The promotion I got in May felt hollow without being able to to talk to him about it. So have my recent wins, PC, record W2 year... the list goes on.

But I have found that doubling down on mastering my craft, doing my best work, and helping mentor those I work with helps a ton. He was a massive mentor to me, and in a way I feel as though I'm keeping his memory alive by passing down his lessons (and my own) to others.

Take some downtime and process this. There will always be good days and bad days, but over time the bad days come less often.

I encourage you to read about "Post Traumatic Growth" as opposed to PTSD. Taking a gratitude-based, system of abundance perspective is a great way to start climbing out of this hole. At least it's helped me.

I'm not out yet, but I can see the light (although dimly). And on some days, just that feeling of incremental progress is the only thing that helps me keep it together.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Very sorry for your loss. Appreciate that you shared your experience.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

i'm so sorry for your loss as well. My therapist actually mentioned Post Traumatic Growth during our last session, I started journaling in a specific PTG journal and it's really helped thus far.

chubbspeterson

Politicker

2

Business Development

So sorry for your loss. Kudos to you for opening up and asking this group for advice. Clearly there's a lot of great stuff from awesome people in this thread, so hopefully it's helpful! Keep your head up, you'll get through this!

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

It was extremely challenging to type everything out, but I just felt like I needed an outlet of people who could understand what actually goes into being in sales. It's not just wearing an oversized suit and lying through your teeth about everything. This why I joined this community to begin with and it's always welcoming to hear from other sales professionals.

Pelager

2

Sales Manager

I am sorry for your loss, I recently have been debating if I should stay in Sales or not, mental health comes first regardless of the career path you choose to be in. Focus on that , rest will get better.

I was not happy in my current workplace, I put in my resignation last week as It was taking a massive toll on my mental health .

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

Thanks. Mental health is extremely important in any role. Spending 40+ hours a week on a craft can take a lot out of you, especially if you don't enjoy it. Glad to hear you're moving in the right direction.

Diablo

Politicker

1

Sr. AE

I'm sorry for your loss 😔

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

Thank you :)

Justatitle

Big Shot

1

Account Executive

Man, although I don't personally know you I am very sorry to hear this. I don't know that any role you were in right now would be able to be done successfully when your mind simply isn't in the right place to be successful in a working environment. Is there potentially a leave of absence available to you so you can spend time with friends and family for some time?

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

I'm going to work on that, unfortunately my Mom and Dad are really the only family I have. I do have some cousins and an Uncle, but I'm closest with my parents. I'm in a hustler role where activity on the streets, calls, and emails can make or break you. That's been the hardest part. I did read about a program that allows employees additional PTO per month, as long as it's prescribed by a Dr. It's nothing crazy, just a couple of days, but that will probably be my best bet.

SaaSGuy313

Opinionated

1

SDR

Incredibly sorry for your loss. I can completely understand your pain and questioning whether you want to continue further, especially since our roles involve so much mental stress and strain. I lost my grandmother a few months ago and kept pushing thru but indeed like others on this thread, some days (most days actually) I sit here and wonder if I want to keep doing this. I’d say step away from a bit for your own mental health sake and take all the time you need, and as other mentioned again, we’re all here for you if you need a shoulder to lean on. Last tidbit, I love how compassionate everyone is here considering we’re looked at as scum by most prospects, great job fellow WR peeps 🙏🏽

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

Thank you for the kind words and I'm also sorry for your loss as well. It's been tough and there's always a line of, if it's worth it and the money that goes along with it. Sales will eat at your mental health regardless of situation and over the past 2 weeks, my performance has been downright shameful. I am incredibly thankful that corp developed this platform, this to me is why it's helpful. Sometimes an internet stranger is more helpful than family and friends and I appreciate everyone

10XQLA

Politicker

1

Medical Sales Assassin

Very sorry for your loss bro, I too got into sales because of the foundation built by my dad, I cannot imagine the inevitable day that will come when I lose him. Salespeople are born and not made, take some time and be self aware and then get back on the horse my brother.... God Bless your family.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

Thanks for sharing. It's a tough time to say the least, and you're right, salespeople are born. I don't even know how to do anything else.

Pachacuti

Politicker

1

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

you gotta do what's best for you.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

Very true

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

1

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

@DrunkenArt Hey man, I wanted to check-in on you. How are things going for you this week?

DrunkenArt

Politicker

1

Sales Representative

Thank you, that's incredibly kind of you to check in. I started some meds last week and have been feeling better. Taking it 1 day at a time, but there's highs and lows, but feeling a little better overall.

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

0

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

Of course! Im glad to hear you are feeling a bit better. Taking it one day at a time is KEY to not overwhelm yourself for now. Ill keep checking in with you from time to time. Just know, we're here for you.

Annonny

Big Shot

1

Account Executive

So very sorry for your loss. Put you and your mental health first.

DrunkenArt

Politicker

0

Sales Representative

Absolutely, thank you

Blackwargreymon

Politicker

1

MDR

Only thing I could say to help you get through this is that YOU WILL get through this, because you have to.

Hoopnip

Politicker

0

Commercial AE

Everything that’s been said so far has been right on point. Grieving is step 1. You have a long life ahead of you and don’t have to be defined by one career choice or the feeling of giving up. However if you just up and quit work, I’m sure your father would be upset and disappointed because of all the time he spent listening and coaching you to become a great salesman. However if sales ain’t for you , fuck it, plenty of jobs and opportunity out there. Every parent really just wants their kids to be happy and successful at whatever they put their mind to… Hang in there buddy.

Arch

Executive

0

Account Executive

Take time off. Revisit your values and think about what gets you excited. Don’t worry about letting others down- focus on your self

Clashingsoulsspell

Politicker

0

ISR

Being sales, aren't we inherently guests of the marketing department (in their eyes).
They work SO HARD to get us leads and all of their work DIRECTLY translates to MORE SALES. We are their guests who are graced with the fruits of their labor.

Error32

Politicker

0

ISR

I like this idea. Just move the sign to across the street and watch the shit fit that ensues.

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