The War Room
Question
Post

Am I being stalked by a former prospect?

So about this time last year I engage with a prospect regarding some significant upgrades for the small, local financial org that he works for. We have a lot of back and forth and he's a fun one- great banter, and while it's obvious he doesn't really know his stuff in the IT world, he's obviously trying and I think we can all respect the hustle of fake-it-til-you-make-it.


Fast forward a few months and he keeps asking me to quote things he never follows through with ordering, adds me on Instagram, and tells me he's ready to demo two products. I accept the add, and schedule the demos- they go well, he chooses a product, and then pricing comes back a little higher than he expected. Then, crickets. His chosen form of communication is text- and my texts are met with things like 'sorry I'm going through a bad breakup and looking for a new place to live' 'oh sorry, I'm off today- out here mowing my lawn without a shirt to avoid tan lines' etc. Gross, but okay we all put up with some level of gross to get a deal. For a while I would respond to these flirty texts in my best friendly but not flirty way, trying to keep the deal alive.


Then, in June he pushes me off to Q4 and I let it lie there. A few weeks ago I found out his superiors were informed of his inappropriateness with me via a friend of a friend type of situation, and they would like to talk. I declined to put a statement on the record, because I can't be scaring anyone off from doing business with me in a limited market, but did speak with the President of the organization about my experience. I find out that he told his superiors I wasn't able to achieve what I promised and that the timing was such that he told them he wouldn't be doing business with me right when I quit responding to flirtatious texts. Lo and behold, he was let go for not only this but some internal issues as well, and now I get notifications that he looks at my LinkedIn daily- and once I got 4 alerts in one day that he was on my page. Thing is, they did say that they would not reveal anything about me to him or even what I described to them- they had plenty of grounds for termination otherwise (see again the "he doesn't know his stuff" segment of the post).


Do I.... end up in pieces in a basement freezer? Block him? Will blocking him alert him to something? Is LinkedIn's notification system potentially just wrong and he's not actually on my page daily?


Disclaimer- WR Admins please don't choose this post to highlight in anyway... would love if we had a way to mark whether or not we cared if the posts we make are shared or not.

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37
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Delete and block everywhere now. 
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
Really? Okay... this makes me feel better about it. I was worried that it would be a 'red flag' if he went to look for me and was blocked if they really DIDN'T say anything. You know?
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Who cares? You and your safety come first. Always. No second guessing this. You owe this person nothing. Have I made myself clear? 
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jefe
Politicker
+8
Sales Director
This. A million times.
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
What the fuck is wrong with people, block him
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
And you're sure that's not the knee-jerk reaction? I'm playing chess here... really don't want him being blocked to serve as an 'alert'. Ya know?
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Ive never been in this spot so take any advice with a grain of salt. What is the advantage of leaving him unblocked? 
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UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
Okay all, I blocked him... now if the text messages start rolling in I'mma be pissed!
DanPrice
Arsonist
+10
Philanthropist
Block his number!
Supersize
Good Citizen
Digital Sales Director
Block his number. The fucker should not be texting you. 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Good to see you blocked him! Definitely a crazy one. Stay safe on these things, lotta freaky people out there. 

UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
No joke... this is a wild world we're living in!
happyhunter
Politicker
+6
spittin' sunshine
Block, delete, communicate with others in and out of your company your situation so others can be cautious for you also. This guys is next level creeper so I would be just as concerned as you. 

It sucks that as females we have to deal with stuff like this ALL. THE. TIME. Here for you girlfriend ❤
Kinonez
Celebrated Contributor
+9
WR Enthusiast
Block him and subscribe his number to spam emails!
Qu
QueenBee
Fire Starter
+2
Strategic Account Manager
Just so you know, I just got an email from War Room about this post specifically. I saw your disclaimer so I wanted to give you heads up for safety reasons! 
Stardust
WR Officer
+9
President
Same here. 

SuperSaaSd
Contributor
+2
SDR
Ditto. Stay safe out there!
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
Jesus fucking Christ... who do I need to tag in these?!? 
dcarb
Good Citizen
Account Manager
I wouldn't worry.  First of all, That mouth breather wouldn't give 2 shits about a Sales War Room. Secondly, and unfortunately, your story isn't all that unique.  I've heard shit like this my entire career.  My point is, unless your Monica Lewinski, I think you identity is safe.
RealPatrickBateman
Politicker
+8
Amateur Butcher
I've already used this once today, but seems more applicable here....

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN! 🔪🩸
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
Fuck... I'm not ready to be turned into a lampshade.
RealPatrickBateman
Politicker
+8
Amateur Butcher
Would you settle for a neck scarf? 🧣
Show 4 more replies
Supersize
Good Citizen
Digital Sales Director
You know you’re having a day when you can use this reference twice. 
Sunbunny31
Politicker
+5
Sales Executive
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You got some great advice here, and I hope you have ZERO issues with this idiot.
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
Thank you! Yeah, it’s a crazy world we’re living in.
vidalSaaSoon
Opinionated
+1
Account Executive
Do yourself a favor and block now. I made the mistake of giving a prospect my personal cell number and the guy literally called and texted me all the time. Kept dangling a buy in front of me. Sent me weird pictures. 

not that it matters, but I’m a guy. I learned a valuable lesson here. 
Fo
FormerStartupJobHopper
Executive
+5
AE
What the absolute fuck lol. Block him on everything and move on
FamilyTruckster
Politicker
+9
Exec Director, Major Accounts
People are gross. 
CloudyWithAChanceOfQuota
Politicker
+5
Inside Account Representative
block instantly! safety always first. make sure this creep doesn't have you on any other socials and that you're either set to private or post locations are off on things like twitter/instagram!
dwightyouignorantsale
Politicker
+6
Manager, Sales
BLOCK. Especially on Instagram. That’s weird and creepy that he followed you on Instagram in the first place. So sorry you have to deal with someone like this… It’s sad when lonely insecure men use a hungry saleswoman as a way to get “in”. Block. Block. Block.
SalesSpectre
Opinionated
+5
AE
Sorry you have gone through this. Some things to learn from. 

1. Dont entertain weird stuff. If they are not buying then move on. If texts get weird then block and clearly state email is how to communicate. 

2. Block everywhere. Why wait? Why not block everywhere? Block texts...emails....all social..all of it. Why would you do anything other than block? 

Set clear boundaries. Dont compromise. 
Diablo
Politicker
+7
AE
This is crazy. Tbh, if I were you I wouldn't block anyone on LinkedIn but at the same time I wouldn't focus or spend my energy too much thinking about that. I don't think notification could be wrong.
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
This is going to sound way different than I mean... but I can't imagine how amazing it would be to not 'focus or spend energy too much thinking' about it. 

As a female, when someone knows where you work, what places you frequent for your job, and a quick google search can give up your home address... there's no way I'm not spending energy on this. 
happyhunter
Politicker
+6
spittin' sunshine
Men have no idea what it's like to be a woman and constantly have to deal with creepers. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Block on all platforms!!!! 
Show 5 more replies
WomenWantMeFishFearMe
Politicker
+4
SDR LXIX
Buy a gun. Carry it. Nothing to worry about ever again.
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
Have never shot a gun in my life- have always wanted to though! Would need to add 'take concealed carry class' to that list. 
WomenWantMeFishFearMe
Politicker
+4
SDR LXIX
If you're in DC, MD, or VA I could help. If not go on youtube and search "Garand Thumb Concealed Carry Basics" and "TFBTV Concealed Carry". Both channels have excellent fact based justifications for what they say, and the information they provide is very good while being presented in an entertaining fashion. 

As far as CCW classes, it can be tricky who actually provides good info. I've had good and bad instructors, and the classes I've taught have had good and bad students. It depends on where you're based, and what kind of tactical classes are offered around you. 

I'd definitely suggest going to to the range with an experienced shooter who owns many different types of guns you can try before you buy. It'll give you a feel for preferences and types. I could go on for hours, but hopefully this is enough info to get you started. Feel free to ask more questions though!
Show 1 more replies
happyhunter
Politicker
+6
spittin' sunshine
Or instead of buying a gun to protect ourselves as females, it would be nice if certain guys weren't just total creepers and left us alone in the first place.
WomenWantMeFishFearMe
Politicker
+4
SDR LXIX
What an asinine, non controversial, and unnecessary point. We all agree that it would be best if the dude just left her alone, but if he’s not, it’s better she’s protected.
Show 5 more replies
wh
whathaveyousoldtomorrow
Opinionated
+4
sales
THIS. DO IT. Opportunity to learn a new skill@UserNotFound 
hancock
Good Citizen
Director Strategic Accounts
Definitely block him on your phone and on LinkedIn. he won't be alerted and so what if he is? He is the one in the wrong. Eventually he will get his mind and attention on something else and forget you. Sorry you have to deal with this. 
TheHypnotist
Opinionated
+2
Sales Manager
Can't tell if he was milking you for information and flirting at the same time, or was just using work as an excuse for contact. 
As a general rule of thumb I don't tend to engage prospects who only use text (I have only made 1 exception).
I didn't know you could block someone on Linkedin.
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
That’s interesting, I prefer text. But, then again, I’ve never had someone “only” use text. It’s always been easier to get ahold of my DMs via text than email or office phone, but that could be the demographic I serve.
wh
whathaveyousoldtomorrow
Opinionated
+4
sales
I would disappear from his world - privatize social media and block him/block his number from your phone. 

I also want to acknowledge your 'we all put up with some level of gross to get a deal.'  True and sad! 
TheNegotiator
Politicker
+7
VP of Sales
This is next level fucked up. I actually advocated women who are LI stalked leverage it for business, as long as it doesn’t involve in personal altercations. But this is next level fucked up…. . SCREENSHOT, THEN block on everything. Potentially send copies to HR at yours and his company demanding absolute confidentiality, just as a precaution.
dcarb
Good Citizen
Account Manager
I can't imagine having to deal with this type of shit.  Dudes in sales largely don't have to worry about this stupid shit where a prospect is stalking you but I have tons of female friends in sales and I know how often this occurs.  It's just fucking despicable.  I've had dirt bag prospects tell me that that they buy from a certain vendor because "the rep is fucking hot as shit".  I was recently exchanging sales war stories with a close female friend that I've known for 25 years.  She tells me this story where she is treating one of her customers to drinks at the bar after a successful installation of the solution that she had sold to his company.  He outright asks her at the bar if she would consider having sex with him.  No beating around the bush.  Just comes right out and asks her to fuck him. Unfuckingbelievable.  It's embarrassing to be a dude sometimes because some of us just have zero moral compass or common sense. 

That's also part of the reason that I don't like texting with customers or prospects.  It's a little too personal IMHO.  I know the younger peeps are allergic to phone calls and prefer to text or IM but for me....texting is something that I do with family and friends.  I know...that just makes me old. 🤣 

It's good that you were aware of what was happening but it's a good lesson to learn in Sales.  Don't EVER sacrifice your dignity for a sale!  You engaged this shithead mouth breather in his flirty bullshit thinking "it's no big deal" because you didn't want to fuck up the sale. Trust me...it's never worth your dignity.  People like that GET OFF on the power they have.  He held the sale over your head hoping you would fuck him.  He wasn't looking to marry you.  It's a power thing.  I know the type.  There are lots of assholes out there that get off on treating people like shit because it makes them feel better about themselves and this is just a different version of that.  When you meet those people you should run.  Tell your sales manager that you are not a good fit with the contact and that you think handing it over to another rep would be a good idea.  Or you just come right out and tell your boss this guy is a fucking creep and keeps texting me creepy shit and it makes me uncomfortable.  He will be required to report that shit internally and protect you.  When I started working people could get away with that shit.  Not anymore.  People get fired for posting something about Trump on Twitter now.  

Sorry for the rant.  Block this asshole and move on.
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
This is fucking weird. I'd give HR a heads up as well.
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
I don't have HR at my company, we're very small.
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Then boss/CEO whoever. Somebody just needs to be aware of this. Never, ever doubt your instincts when something is creeping you out. One incident is one thing (and you still have every right to disengage) but a pattern of behavior means this dude is just not somebody you want to be around. Are you going to be completely fine? Yes. Should you have to put up with this? FUCK NO.
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