RandyLahey profile picture
RandyLahey profile picture

RandyLahey

Account Manager

Politicker
Acclaimed Answer
Valued Contributor
+6

Favourite 'bullshit' motivation advice from Bad VPs/Managers

Recently, a former colleague of mine was struggling with their performance. We had a real doozy of a VP, this fool who would constantly publicly shame employees, had zero tangible knowledge of our complex product offering, and a few times torpedoed deals they were brought on to help close.


This colleague asked said VP, "my performance ain't there, what can I do?". This genius responded, "Are you not a morning person? Come in at 4 am, get organized".


Any of y'all have similar garbage advice to share?

๐Ÿ˜‚ Sales Humor
15

26 comments

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Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
7
Sales Rep
"Imagine what a 70k commish check can do for your life, maybe think about cold calling on Saturdays?"
Backstory is we sold to a lot of restaurants, so she assumed I would get everyone to pick up since they are working and no one else is calling them.
SaaSsy
Politicker
5
AE
Ah! Payroll, I knew it right away. Been there, worst industry ever
Sunbunny31
Politicker
4
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Seriously?
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
4
Sales Rep
Real story, Payroll industry sucks
Sunbunny31
Politicker
3
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Just, wow.
palmtrees
Valued Contributor
3
Account Executive
Payroll sounds like a whole different beast
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
2
Sales Rep
Sales process is a race to the lowest price and building a relationship with leadership to improve discounts when needed
RandyLahey
Politicker
3
Account Manager
LOL ...jesus
Sunbunny31
Politicker
5
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
I know I'd never go to that VP for any advice ever again.
Diablo
Politicker
4
Sr. AE
What a crap response
Justatitle
Big Shot
4
Account Executive
Why do 60% of VPs have their head so far up their ass.
RandyLahey
Politicker
3
Account Manager
Just a goon show
coletrain
Politicker
4
Account Executive
"As an AE, it's fun to use an autodialer, just load the numbers in and go. When someone picks up, it's invigorating and feels like a casino. You never know who you're going to get on the other end."

"Get in early and stay late" from a sales leader who rarely comes in on Fridays and if he did pounds a beer faster than the sales reps once they come out.

"You don't see me taking off Fridays to go to a summer house" (It's a Thurs and he's literally walking out the door to do that)

There's also "you need to figure it out, I can't do the work for you" approach when asking for help.

An extreme overemphasis on top of funnel instead of all funnel aspects.

RandyLahey
Politicker
2
Account Manager
lol the second one got me. The bozo I cited in this post said something similar, "stay until the lights go off"
GDO
Politicker
2
BDM
the second one coudl have been one of my managers as wel :D
RandyLahey
Politicker
2
Account Manager
An all-time classic eh?
ChickenWings
Opinionated
4
Tom Callahan's Son
I once asked for a well thought out raise after 5 years at a company.

Response was to โ€œpick up some smart investing vehiclesโ€
CuriousFox
WR Officer
4
๐ŸฆŠ
Pick my foot outta your ass. Fuck them.
ChickenWings
Opinionated
4
Tom Callahan's Son
For real. I invested in a new job.
SaaSsy
Politicker
3
AE
Unbelievable but not surprising. I've been told "to just create more demand", like whoopsies didn't realize I was the VP of marketing. My favorite was that "I'm not greedy enough" because I didn't start out in sales and I should "get really into Gucci and nice cars" so I would want to sell more.
RandyLahey
Politicker
2
Account Manager
Just create more demand breh
emerge.life
Valued Contributor
2
Field Sales Development Executive
"Sales is like sports (As I play at a competitive level and he knows that). You need to keep at it"
Wow thanks for nothing
RandyLahey
Politicker
1
Account Manager
Genius! How could you NOT smash targets now?
1
AE / Sales Consultant
I think it was there existence that did it for me
notdavemoss
Valued Contributor
1
CCBW
Narrator: The correct answer is "Sales is a numbers game..."
RandyLahey
Politicker
1
Account Manager
"Dials for dollars"

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