The War Room
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Scare a salesperson in 5 words or less

Posted this yesterday and got some absolute gems. Here's my 5 favorite responses:


5 - We're changing the comp plan.


4 - How'd you get my cell?


3 - Subject: Territory Reshuffle


2 - Marketing has a plan!


... and drumroll please...


1 - I filed a restraining order.

πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚


Got a better one??

πŸ˜‚ Sales Humor
29
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
From your main contact in a prospective account:
"I got laid off."
SalesPharaoh
Politicker
+8
AM BDR
X is no longer with us.
Y is on his sabbatical now.
Z is sick.
SalesGal
Politicker
+6
Account Manager / FSR
This is the worst. Especially if you were in the last stretch of closing a deal !Β 
Show 2 more replies
SalesPharaoh
Politicker
+8
AM BDR
Hurts bad.
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
nice!
Salespreuner
Big Shot
+11
Regional Sales Director
Amen!
salesnerd
WR Officer
+16
Head of Growth
"You've been so great BUT..."
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
lol uh oh.
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
β€œIs that your best price?”
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
oh, you can handle that!
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
Lol fair
AchieveDreamsTogether
Good Citizen
+1
SDR
From my CEO: Do you have a minute to chat?Β 
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
7 words, DQ'd.
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
"Introducing your new Sales Director..."
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
"We're restructuring the company."
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
ouch
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
"We're doing some call shadowing."


sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
uh oh....
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
MY LIFE RN ⚰️
IceQ10
Account Executive
"Sorry he died last week" - happened to me on my 2nd biggest account a couple of years back...Β 
Jbeans
Praised Answer
+3
Director of Sales
Omg! That’s happened to me. What do you even say? β€œSo so sorry to hear that... sooooooo the PO will be delayed then or....?” ... 🀭😬
jo
johnnyyogurt
Big Shot
+3
Senior Account Executive
We need to hire resources
Jbeans
Praised Answer
+3
Director of Sales
β€œWhat can i get for $100?”

Me : β€œmy competitors email addy and digits, keep the Hundo, this ones on the house”
cozzy
Old School Bravo
Executive of Accounts
Your champion was fired
neversettle
Politicker
+6
SDR
"I've been thinking" or "We're gonna do some role-playing" - from your Manager
thegreatestsalesperson
Notable Contributor
+17
AE
We'll get back to you
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
nice
swerve
WR Lieutenant
+4
Account Executive
HR will be joining us
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
lol nice
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
I'm getting the water hose.Β 
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
lol yikes. you've had a tramautic sales experience :)
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
I feel seen 🦊
AK_47
WR Lieutenant
+3
Sr. Director of Sales Development
Your SDR is getting promoted.
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
nice
captainav
Old School Bravo
Head of Growth, Partner
Love 2.
captainav
Old School Bravo
Head of Growth, Partner
Β I think your Sales Engineer can take the call.
Kanyebut4sales
WR Lieutenant
+6
Account Executive
New comp planΒ 
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
lol nice
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
I'm not renewing our contract.
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
Bummer!
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
First run it by legal
Go
GoogleGuy
VP of Cloud Sales
I need to run this by legal
rekled
Opinionated
+2
Strategic Account Executive
I bought from your colleague
On
Onemoredial
Valued Contributor
+4
Account Exectutive
Having reviewed your marketing material.....
thestifmeister
Contributor
+1
SDR
If you call other countries, " I'm still in bed." or "do you have any idea what time it is?" might be one.. not too sure how to recover from that lolΒ 
KnightoftheJaguar
Contributor
+1
Senior Account Executive
"I'll show this to my manager and I'll back to you if we're interested"
Spade
Arsonist
+5
Global Business Development Manager
'Circle back in a year'
TheQueenofDiamonds
Valued Contributor
+4
Account Executive
Pop up team meeting @eodΒ 
southernfriedsales
Opinionated
+8
Senior AE & Business Owner
"We're 75% commission based"
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
I’ve been told 90% in an interview.


it or may not (most definitely) have been MassMutual πŸ˜‚
Salespreuner
Big Shot
+11
Regional Sales Director
I'll get back to youπŸ™ƒ
6
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10
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