antiASKHOLE

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Two-Week Notices

What's up guys and gals! So, I am waiting for an offer letter and decided to start playing around with writing my 2 week notice. I am having issues writing it in a professional manner and decided to finally use ChatGPT for the first time(not seriously I might add).

With that being said, I made some hilarious renditions to my original version, and this made me think to turn to all of you.

What are some of the funniest 2 Week Notices that either you have written or have seen? I want to copy/paste the GPT response, but I want to see some originals.

How important is a 2 week notice?

Attached poll

Important as it helps not burn bridges. Fuck em - It's at-will anyway Depends on if I want to keep the relationships alive I have never submitted one.

*Voting in this poll no longer yields commission.

🐱 Off-Topic

😂 Sales Humor

📬 WR Feedback

30 comments

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oldcloser

Arsonist

💀

Dear Boss,
In 14 days
I’m gonna blaze
And try to forget the many ways
I hate you 🖕

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

What a cute poem that initiates a warm feeling of hatred and fire.

MeowMeow

Politicker

Senior Enterprise Account Executive

I had a vacation planned and 3 weeks after that I was leaving. I set an OOO that said something like “Welcome to your trial period of life without me. I know it’s going to be hard this week but it will get worse in the future”. Came back from vacation and gave them 3 weeks notice.

jefe

Arsonist

🍁

I've only ever been responsible and written respectful ones.
I know, I know - I suck.
Let us know when the offer comes through so we can all raise a glass to you, brother.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Will do, brother. Typical Canadian being respectful and sorry. hahah

jefe

Arsonist

🍁

Guilty

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

A friend of mine quit a makeup counter job via fax once...🦡🧿

RandyLahey

Politicker

Account Manager

Really depends. Companies will cut you and throw you in the trash without a moment's notice.
I think it's good to give as much as you can, but if the situation degrades rapidly or you truly need to start the next opportunity ASAP, then dip.

Justatitle

Big Shot

Account Executive

In almost all cases I have been in, when I tell a job I am leaving I say it's 2 weeks and then they go great, well pay you out for 2 weeks but today is your last day. Thanks, see ya later

BmajoR

Arsonist

Account Executive

Every person at my company that's given a 2 week notice has been let go that same day.

Filth

Politicker

Live Filthy or Die Clean

When I worked as a pizza delivery guy I would type up a very official 2 week notice with all the absurd and unnecessary legal jargon and party 1 party 2 etc. and then have the whole thing as, "dictated, but not read" and sign my name and hand to my manager.
Now this was hilarious b/c I worked here after high school and throughout college so I probably put in like 5 of these over the top notices for a Papa Johns shop :D

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I've never written one. I just realized that. Wow.
It's too early for me to be clever yet, so I may return if that changes.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Lmao thank you for actually reading the post. I’m still curious to see what you have heard/seen someone else do.

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

Sales Rep

Maybe a classic Haiku

ThatNewAE

Big Shot

Account Executive - Mid enterprise

Give a minimum in those 2-week notice, but of course don't completely ghost. I like to believe that it's a small world at the end of the day and the corporate relations stay for a while !

Coastal_crusher

Politicker

Sales Director

Have a candid conversation with your boss. Or drop a deuce on his desk and walk out without a word. There is no in between.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

we have a decision...

FinanceEngineer

Politicker

Sr Director, sales and partnerships

I give notice, usually a couple of days before I start the new role. Sometimes after I start. Depends.

CRAG112

Valued Contributor

Account Executive

Don’t do it.

Give that notice once your new role is secured.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

I understand. I think you all are missing the actual question in the post. Tells me how much people actually read.

I want to know the funniest way people have either given a two week notice or what they have seen/heard.

I’ll be honest, the poll is just a test to see how people actually interact with posts on this platform. So far, only a few people have actually followed through with what I was actually asking.

CRAG112

Valued Contributor

Account Executive

Maybe your writing needs work if the majority of people can't understand what you wrote.....?

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

It's pretty straight forward. The question in the main part of the post is the true question to see if people are actually reading.
The poll was to see who just clicks and then comments. It was a test, really.

Pachacuti

Politicker

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

I don’t typically make light of a 2week notice, sorry.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

I can understand and respect that. At the end of the day, I will be respectful and professional with it. I'm just not ignorant to the fact that there are several people that aren't that honorable haha.

SoccerandSales

Big Shot

Account Executive

Don't have one yet fortunately, but excited to see yours

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Here is the GPT version that came up. it's stinking hilarious.

dorsiacro

Politicker

Account Executive

Always give a good two weeks, never know if you'll run into the company or people again

salespal

Good Citizen

Account Executive

two week notices in sales are always interesting to me. Some are genuinely happy for you and they want to make sure your pipeline has a smooth transition etc etc, and then the rest are like gtfo traitor!

sketchysales

Politicker

Sales Manager

Dont unnecessarily burn a bridge imo. If they are dicks then go for it, go full psycho

ZVRK

Politicker

Enterprise Account Executive

Super important not to burn bridges.. you never know who might come helpful in the future..

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antiASKHOLE

Two-Week Notices

How important is a 2 week notice?

30 comments

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