LambyCorn

A mfkn E

First 7 Months As A Brand New AE (pip'd)

Dear Warriors.

September 4th I started my journey as an AE first time ever. 3500+ employees, 1B revenue SaaS company. I love it, great company.

We hit production 1 month after training, as an Account Manager upselling, cross-selling etc. After struggling for the first 5 months with reaching less than 20% of quota, I got a new territory and my first week with that territory, I closed a 19k deal which got me at like 70% of quota in that one deal.

Weirdly enough, I got promoted a few days before this deal to "AE" for new logo. I asked why me, if I was bottom of the pack, they said my sales calls were top of the pack but I just got handed a shit hand with my territory (93% was unsellable due to billing and politics)

My company made the 100 rep sales team split into two groups; AMs and made a small team of 8 top performing reps (and me xD) for new logos. Nice, first step up the ladder even though it didn't feel deserved. Whatever. Also, quotas got lowered company wide <3

6 weeks into the new role, I got PIP'd (last wednesday) due to procastinating my pipeline, forecast, a few client escalations for not sending emails, forgot to send out a few contracts... so naturally, my manager feels like her words are in vain at times (i dont do it on purpose, im just forgetting everything which fucking stinks). I bought some shrooms, starting micro dosing next week and carnivore diet for a month, exercising and cleaning my house up, its all mental. Everything is up side down in my personal life and has been for the past few months. Time to switch things up.

TODAY!! 3 days after being pip'd I got my shit together and starting doing some follow ups, sending contracts, calls etc and landed a $64.000 deal SIGNED AND DONE lets GOOOO reached 140% of quota with that one deal and got out of the pip....

Moral of the story: sometimes it takes a slap across the face to get your shit together...

😎 Sales Skills

🤘 Personal Growth

🤢 Sales Stupidity

28

42 comments

Sort by:

SalesBeast

Politicker

19

Sales Leader

Big dog. With all due respect.. this is NOT the way…. adding taking drugs into an already fucked up sales role (where you forget to send quotes and replies), are on a PIP, and have screwed up personal life. I honestly think that adding some hallucinogenics is the last thing you need.
The diet idea is solid. But trying your sell tech while seeing rainbow unicorns and floating through meadows is prob not going to keep you around long. Then again as we all know- a PIP is them telling you ‘bye bye’ already.
If you plan to bounce and get fired. Go do some of the devils lettuce and mushies. But otherwise if any plan to stay, keep sober.
Good luck champ.

Sunbunny31

Arsonist

9

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Agreed. No need to add serious distractions into the mix.

And in sales … one does not forget to send contracts. How is that even possible?

LambyCorn

Arsonist

0

A mfkn E

i have no idea sunbunny, i swear i wasnt like this 1 year ago but jeeez I forget the most basic things... probably has to do with my current disaster in everything lol - fogged up like crazy

Sunbunny31

Arsonist

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

You know, I've been there, where I just am not firing on all cylinders and forget stupid, simple things.
The best thing to do is recognize that it's happening, hope to gosh it's not the signs of early onset dementia (pretty sure it's not for your young self if it wasn't for my older self), and focus. No matter what other chaos is unfolding, you will need to do your best to keep that job moving. Suggest sitting down when you get to work - whether it's at your desk at home or in an office, and taking the first 10-15 minutes to write down the things you need to get done. Physically write them so that you can see them, and check them off as accomplished. Multi-step things, two notes. Do the same for yourself at the end of the day - things you need to do the following morning/follow up so that you're noting all that. Usually I remember important things, but if everything else is distracting and you find you're not on point, fall back to the basics and write out a to do list each day.
Good luck - I've been there, and it is seriously unsettling. But I found that the simple act of organizing myself each morning and evening really works.

2

Account Executive

Writing down the list in the morning and end of day is the way. Set calendar events and phone alarms 5 minutes before all your meetings in the morning.

Sunbunny31

Arsonist

2

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I’m paranoid - I check my first meeting time for the next day before I head to bed. I work with customers in many time zones, which means some super early meetings sometimes and I cannot show up with bedhead and pjs. Or, worse, miss the meeting.

oldcloser

Arsonist

4

💀

Dafuq is devils lettuce?

SalesBeast

Politicker

4

Sales Leader

Devils lettuce. It’s weed

oldcloser

Arsonist

4

💀

Oh, thought maybe there was a drug I hadn’t taken. Cool.

Revenue_Rambo

Politicker

5

Director, Revenue Enablement

Ignore him he’s old. They called it reefer back in his day.

SalesBeast

Politicker

1

Sales Leader

Was just fooling around it’s what the lunch ladies and counselors use to call it back in high school days jokingly. I am not that old. Just a funny term

oldcloser

Arsonist

5

💀

I sold weed to the lunch ladies too.

SalesBeast

Politicker

2

Sales Leader

Was it fire or brick weed? Maybe same lunch ladies. Pretty sure mine were lit AF

oldcloser

Arsonist

6

💀

Brown shake in a plastic 35mm film container. Yeah. I’m old.

Sunbunny31

Arsonist

5

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Damn, you ARE old to not know that one!

Fenderbaum

Politicker

4

Retired Choirboy🪕

.

Fenderbaum

Politicker

3

Retired Choirboy🪕

.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

2

🦊

littering annnnndddd

diet75

Big Shot

0

Enterprise AE

microdosing doesn't get you hallucinating, it's more of a ssri-replacement

SalesBeast

Politicker

0

Sales Leader

I understand. Was saying it more as a joke about that part. But you seriously think adding drugs into an already shit sales process where the guy is shitting the bed forgetting to do things is a good idea??!? Doing drugs when you already are fucking up at work is (in my humble opinion) not a recipe for success.

oldcloser

Arsonist

8

💀

You learned a serious lesson, huh. Focus focus focus. It doesn’t happen without it. Love to hear this. Not the least bit sure about the shrooms part. But what do I know. Keep your head down.

LambyCorn

Arsonist

3

A mfkn E

thanks a lot sensei, focus and discipline is the ultimate ingredient for life i think... yeah the shrooms part ill do micro dosing 4 days a week for 1 month, it seems to be a legit treatment for mental health but idk... i wont trip, its like having a shot of beer but it should stimulate the mind, or some hippie crap like that

oldcloser

Arsonist

3

💀

You are one in a really small group that beat a PIP. Gotta motivate you when you think about what you’re really capable of. ✊

LambyCorn

Arsonist

2

A mfkn E

Funny you say that, in the past 60 days twelve pips have been handed out and so far im the only one that got out of it.. my pals who got pipd and left just stopped working, it fucked with them mentally so hard they just quit. Im glad it hit me with a sense of let me show them but yeah, cant let that happen again. Once again, you provide me with a dose of wisdom one can only get going after being around the block for a while <3 thanks G

Justatitle

Big Shot

5

Account Executive

With drugs my rule is simple, don’t wake up naked in jail. Outside of that, sales is a performance game. You are in the big leagues and if you don’t produce you won’t be staying around long. No shade just the harsh facts. That said, I’ve been in your situation and it’s an immense weight lifted when you hit and exceed targets so that is awesome to see.

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

4

ERP Sales

Micro dosing for the win!!!

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

So curious

LambyCorn

Arsonist

1

A mfkn E

kosta have you tried it out?

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

1

ERP Sales

Not professionally, just espresso for me. I like poop breaks

Cafe.con.Leche

Executive

4

SDR

Might wanna go get checked out for ADHD. Not doing any work and forgetting stupid shit but performing like a rock star when you got a gun to your head is the norm for us neurodivergent peeps

snacks

Opinionated

3

AE

Yup. This comment.

@LambyCorn your post reads as full on undiagnosed (and unmanaged) ADHD

I'm not surprised that shrooms helped you out here as more and more studies are being done on the effects of psilocybin and nootropics, and the impact on the mind.

While I agree with most folks here that drugs aren't a solution to a bad situation, you gotta do what you gotta do. I am a firm believer that just because a drug is illegal doesn't make it bad, just as legal drugs aren't automatically good or safe. The best way to take drugs is with the support and oversight of a doctor.

Also, ADHD is considered a disability under the ADA as well as in Canada. Not sure how much luck you'll have if you get fired and then try to tell your employer "oh sorry but I have ADHD" but I encourage you to explore this further.

LambyCorn

Arsonist

1

A mfkn E

you might be on to something.. it would explain SO much. School, high school, work..

Supersize

Personal Narrative

4

Digital Sales Director

Classic ADHD. I’m a lifelong abider of this condition. (Notice I didn’t say sufferer). 41 years in sales. Do I have you beat @oldcloser?
You don’t need a wholesale change. Just a 15% shift and it’s enough to keep you out of the doghouse and allow miracles to happen. Your gift is contagious energy and vulnerability. Don’t fuck up on the 25th mile. Remember that. Ask for help from organized colleagues. Send surprise gifts as a thank you. Appreciate fully the organized minds and respect the process. Keep going!

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

I think we’re neck and neck in the game. And this is straight solid advice for folks blessed with our condition.

Phillip_J_Fry

Opinionated

1

Director of Revenue

Hmmm, I'm not so sure about this. A pip is only a way for a company to say they want you gone without a potential lawsuit. I'd bet a pretty penny that they're probably looking at this 140% attainment as a fluke. If you don't hit next month/quarter, that PIP is most likely making a comeback.
With how chaotic this org sounds, there's probably a lot of turnover anyways, so you may very well just be a number to them. I'd brush up that resume and start putting feelers out there for other roles.

sketchysales

Politicker

1

Sales Manager

There's no way you can complain about anything here imo. Feels like you got a great opportunity and you took it and kicked it in the head.

Not sending quotes and not doing basic requirements like emails etc. You haven't got any legs to stand on.

That said you turned it around however you going to have to let that lesson stick if you going to stay or have any success long term.

LambyCorn

Arsonist

1

A mfkn E

100%, I am actually surprised I wasn't just fired. I told my manager, if I would of been my boss I would of fired myself immediately lol. I mean, come on. Not sending out a contract?! I am forever grateful with the company and my superiors for actually believing that I am capable its just lack of trying... anyways, back on the game, I am just $8000 shy of hitting my quarterly quota so everything is not too bad, but hell it was close

ThePiedPIPr

Valued Contributor

1

Enterprise Sales Executive

It sounds like this company is trying to get people to quit with all the changes. Best be looking for new opportunities friend.

LambyCorn

Arsonist

1

A mfkn E

they are definitively doing that. they recently invested a ton of money on trainings, resources to assist us like SEs and subject matter experts and things of that nature, and lowered quotas. So they say that now numbers should be going up not down, so they are tightening the ship...

ThePiedPIPr

Valued Contributor

0

Enterprise Sales Executive

It is strange that companies think it is better to get reps to leave and hire new reps. It is so much more expensive.

1

Retired Sales Professional

Alright lesson learned, keep it up.👍👍keep building yourself up!

diet75

Big Shot

1

Enterprise AE

Way to go! It's all about that exercise/healthy eating/proper treatment!

Bravado is a community of trusted sales professionals endorsed by their customers.

Products

The War Room Jobs Tech Sales U

For employers

Hire sales talent Executive search

Company

About Us How It Works Blog Bug Bounty

Contact

© 2024 Bravado Inc. All rights reserved.

Privacy Policy Legal and Privacy Center Trust Center Sales Jobs