Maybe this is partially how I grew up (poor) but getting into sales just engrained in me that all I was ever worth was $ on a spreadsheet.
How much did I make for my quota?
How much hit my bank account?
How much could I spend on whatever I wanted?
Years of that baked into me until I couldn't separate good and bad from low $ and high $.
How does your mental boat float with the mix of loving rejection, pressure, and high stakes needed to survive in sales?
Mine has become toast. Most recently over six months of a layoff.
Therapy basically goes "yeah just don't do that" but fuck it's hard when lots of $ let's you continue living and no $ doesn't.
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