How do you not associate your life worth with $?

Maybe this is partially how I grew up (poor) but getting into sales just engrained in me that all I was ever worth was $ on a spreadsheet. 

How much did I make for my quota?
How much hit my bank account?
How much could I spend on whatever I wanted?

Years of that baked into me until I couldn't separate good and bad from low $ and high $. 

How does your mental boat float with the mix of loving rejection, pressure, and high stakes needed to survive in sales?

Mine has become toast. Most recently over six months of a layoff. 

Therapy basically goes "yeah just don't do that" but fuck it's hard when lots of $ let's you continue living and no $ doesn't. 
👐 Emotional Regulation
💆‍♂ Mindset
🤗 Self-care
14
CuriousFox
WR Officer
10
🦊
Put peanut butter and top with honey on that hot toast. Let it get melty. Enjoy. Reset. Do it again the next day.
You're normal bb ❤🦊
oldcloser
Arsonist
5
💀
Just this. It's an inside job.
SalesBeast
Politicker
5
Sales Leader
I like to make that I live off of base pay and save commissions in investments, stock, crypto, CDs, and savings. Just make sure you always have over a year worth of savings and money to float you through the rough lows and they won’t be too low.
We have been told and judged off money (how much did you sell), so yes it’s hard to disassociate and tie money to self esteem and self worth.
My advice is ignore the commission and save it for retirement or a rainy day.
Keep your head up.
Change career if it’s hurting your mental.
SalesBeast
Politicker
3
Sales Leader
And forgot to say. Yes most therapists are worthless and crazy themselves.
Sunbunny31
Arsonist
4
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
It’s very hard to decouple the practice from the outcome, particularly when it’s your livelihood. However, your worth isn’t measured by $$.
vet
Valued Contributor
3
Senior SDR
It feels like dating too much in sales.

“Its a numbers game”

But people forget that experience and looks matter, especially when you are starting off.

Theres the linkedin gurus in tech sales that made the buck 50, and then theres the elite that make $600k-$1M that you wont hear a peep from.

You tell me which one has the easier time looking for a new job/ doing the job. Overall the rejection and pressure can be great because you can get lucky.
BigShrimpin
Politicker
2
Account executive
to some degree the two will always be interlinked but try and have things outside of work that you can work towards whether its a fitness goal or something relationship based

you might have a bad quarter and your manager might be a colossal knob but at the end of the day its just a job and you can find a new one
JustGonnaSendIt
Politicker
0
Burn Towns, Get Money
You made my morning with the 'colossal knob' comment. Have an upvote.
BigShrimpin
Politicker
1
Account executive
i grapple with the level of profanity to use in each post but this one just felt appropriate
jefe
Arsonist
2
🍁
It can be hard, but I focus on my family. That's my worth, not my income.

It helps, but it ain't me.
Beans
Big Shot
1
Enterprise Account Executive
Man, this hits close to home.
I grew up dirt poor too, now average 260-300K a year for the last few.
Few things that help, I plan/budget off my base alone. I went to therapy and it DID help. I don't talk about money with folks who don't have similar experiences. I learned not to constantly compare (comparison is the thief of joy).
Justatitle
Big Shot
0
Account Executive
I have separated my value from the $$$ in my bank account and what I own. Here is what I think is key to this. In no particular order
1 - Did I fuck anyone over in life intentionally? And do I try to do the right thing in the majority of situations? Respective answers being no and yes makes me think I'm off to the right start
2 - I have kids, Do I actively participate in their lives so they will know who their Dad is and that I love them more than anything in this world? If I can say yes to that each day also in a good spot
3 - Does my family and do my friends know they can come to me whenever to talk about whatever they need to? Once again a yes and the other stuff takes a back seat
4 - Am I able to fulfill the basic needs for my family? Food, Water, Shelter, school.

All the rest, money, vacations and what not is great and you make special memories but being able to say no to luxuries because it's outside of budget and saying out loud you can't afford something doesn't make you a broke loser it makes you responsible and shows you have obligations.
Acknowledging everyone's situation is different, there's plenty of people that were making a ton of money in 2007 and then the housing crisis hit and 08 wiped out everything on them. Wall street luxuries like penthouses and vacation homes got swept through by the grim reaper.
You can be a number to an org and you can treat a company like an ATM but you need something outside of work that gives you fulfillment.
pirate
Big Shot
0
Account Executive
Try to find other things in life to enjoy and to feel passion for? Like sports and sports committee or different hobbies, making friends, crafting or making something
Not_Medical_Advice
Executive
0
Sr. Director
Read "Thinking in Bets" by Annie Duke specifically her description of resulting. Resulting is basing your analysis of value and quality of process only on the outcome of a specific circumstance. You may have really needed money in your past so you now associate it with all of the good things in your life without really evaluating that your circumstances have changed. Just because you got that result in the past doesn't mean that chasing it in the same way again is the right decision. What I think this will help you find is that you are still very much in the game and that there is a lot of value in making good decisions. Even if your bank account doesn't reflect it in the short term making better life decisions will result in consistently better outcomes overall. Take the time to think about your larger goals and if your decision strategy is giving you the best probabilities for where you want to be in life.
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