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Sales turns you into a cold, 'I don't care' type of person...

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like since they've started working in sales they've turned into a cold, I don't care type of person?


By that I mean, you don't care about being a people pleaser....


"Oh, you want a heavy discount on our product that we have to pay to maintain and create?" "Well, Bob, I do have to get paid so your discount can go shove it!".


"Oh, you think our prices are too high?"

"Well, Mary, our products don't magically appear from the magical product tree that we can harvest for free and just give away as we see fit. We do have a business to run at the end of the day!"

🐱 Off-Topic
🙏 Mental Wellness
💆‍♂ Mindset
29
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Are you new into sales boo boo? 
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Not new new, I've just been reflecting a lot on how its changed me as a person  
Woody
Politicker
+5
Business Development Executive
Yes I'm feeling like you're maybe a year or two away from successfully incorporating the negative realities of the world and selling into a positive outlook. 

The customer wants the product as cheap as possible, you want to make a profit.  Neither of these things are of your making and you work with them without remorse. The thing you're caring about is helping the customer at a price that is profitable. 

funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
No, customer service turns you into a cold "I don't care" type of person. Sales just solidifies it.
CharmingSalesGal
Politicker
+8
Account Executive
@funcoupons Read my gd mind.

Let's be real, we've all been "go fuck yourself" type of people from a pretty young age. 🤷🏻‍♀️
funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
I was born with very few fucks to give in the first place, working in fast food as a teenager stole those away quickfast.
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notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
I can imagine! CS does not seem easy.
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
Sounds like you are selling a product that is either A) overpriced or B) fails to convey ROI during the sales process.

I don't think sales is the issue, it's the environment you're in.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
quite possibly!!!
JustGonnaSendIt
Opinionated
+4
Burn Towns, Get Money
Interesting take. I have found that working in sales has made me much more of an open person than a cold one. Always willing to see what the best deal for everyone is and frequently asking "tell me more about that" with genuine interest.

Before sales, I was a stuck up kid in Engineering school who thought i knew everything and most people were idiots.

While most people are still idiots, I now realize there are many more lenses you can look at a specific issue thru.

Take a day off. Eat a steak. Drink a beer. Reset for a minute and bring some fun back!
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
I do try to have that open person take over because I'm all about that, its just sometimes you don't have many options to work with and you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place.

A day off, a steak, and a beer is exactly what I need!
Filth
Opinionated
+4
Live Filthy or Die Clean
Nice take @JustGonnaSendIt - my steak is a good greasy diner breakfast, pancakes is a must, after morning calls and definitely a beer at lunch. 


@NotSoAdult Keep it easy when you can and treat yourself often so the serious hair pull out moments don't drag you down too much. Also find a coworker or friend to vent hard with and it'll help you from going down the cold metal robot path.
Diablo
Politicker
+7
AE
Hahaha, your psuedo response seems like you're pissed and most of this frustration is due to the price. 

If I find someone not to be the right fit (even in terms of budget), doesn't make sense to move forward with the convo. If price is a concern, I make an attempt to tell them why they will pay this and what they will get in return. If they disagree then I let them go but I will follow up again after a couple weeks or months to see if they are ready.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Yeah, that's the most logical approach. And you're right, I am a little frustrated at the moment.
Diablo
Politicker
+7
AE
Life is long, don't sweat and move on!
Sunbunny31
Politicker
+5
Sales Executive
You're there to see if what you're selling solves a problem they have in a way that is mutually beneficial - e.g., your company also has to make money on the deal in order to stay in business.   Qualification is what makes this happen.  

I can care about my prospects and customers in a way that doesn't make me want to give things away.   
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
100% There's times where you've done your best and they still want that super low price even though they can see the value. Everyone is always out to get the best price. Its just human nature and how a lot of us are taught to behave. 


I think another way that sales changes you too is that you start to see the value in things more and don't automatically jump to price as a decision maker. A large % of the population doesn't see things that way though.
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Being a people pleaser is bad for you anyway (tons of research backs this up). And these are businesses, not fucking charities.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Very true! I'm not too bummed by how I've changed tbh. 
Salesify
Executive
+2
AE
Less to do with being cold and more to do with being honest and better at cutting to the chase. I find people just end up trusting you more without all the fluff.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Definitely! It's what I've started doing and its worked a lot better. I hate this whole beating around the bush thing.
GrizzleMcThornBody
Arsonist
+12
EVP - RevOps
i have value, if you don't think i deserve to eat or pay bills or fix the light in my bathroom so i dont have to shit in the dark, then get fucked.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Exactly!!!
Jewcan_Sam81
Politicker
+8
Account Executive
By about year 5, if you're still in this career, you'll start to figure out the shit you actually care about. 9/10 times the first thing you toss in the trash is optimism and the second is taking personally the grievances of the jabroni on the other end of the phone
Jewcan_Sam81
Politicker
+8
Account Executive
That's just me, would actually be so down to hear what people remember is the first and second GAF you set on fire in your career in sales
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Interesting! I definitely do not want to lose my optimism (lol), its one of the things keeping me going and I generally like to give people the benefit of the doubt. 

100% on taking things personally - this is actually something I didn't do starting in sales because of the industries I was in prior, so its helped ALOT! But what I am dumping is being nice and trying to accommodate everyone, and maybe not giving so many people the benefit of the doubt. 
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LordOfWar
Big Shot
+12
Director
Nah, you're just in the wrong place. Things are different in the right company/market/industry.

I love what I do, even when I deal with the requests for discounts and projects being delayed or near canceled, lost commission or facing problems outside of our scope. Every day has new issues to tackle and the role invites solution-drivers, especially unorthodox ones. 

Sure, it gets tiring always being on call and not having much of a routine job, but I would not want to slave away as a wagie my whole life.

Plus if you're good you're assured to be the last person to be chopped. We're also one of the last that will get replaced by robots, so there's that.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
I don't know about the robots part... I've seen a few companies now experimenting with a fully digital sales cycle...  🤔 
LordOfWar
Big Shot
+12
Director
Digital sales are not automated sales. Digital sales are just another name for remote selling that may rely on some automation in the front-end (lead generation, filtering, etc).

I have yet to meet one of those automated bots that can address real issues, generate value, and push solutions. This is of course market-specific, so more complex markets will be the last to fall vs. simple ones like consumer goods.

My DoD customers will not be ordering from robots anytime soon, yet I can get a burger at McDonald's without talking to a single human.
Wh
Whupswhups
Politicker
+4
Business Development Representative
I'm only cold towards the Marketing team
dwightyouignorantsale
Politicker
+7
Manager, Sales
I’ve never been much of a people pleaser, but sales has definitely made me more of a pessimist. So that’s fun.
cw95
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
Depends what you sell and who you sell to. I found my personality became more extroverted and chilled out simply due to gaining experience chatting to strangers and realising 'fuck me, life isn't so serious when you get tossers on the other end of the phone. 
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Delighted for you cw95. Sales does also bring out the best in our personalities and probably makes us some of the best people in the world ;) - I acknowledge that.
GDO
Politicker
+7
BDM
You just understand that there is always the next opportunity thus people annoying you can just fuck off. 
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
very true, very true! I've learned to breathe and move on... sometimes we do need to acknowledge the harder times though, otherwise we get stuck on a toxic positivity merry-go-round 
rxtdyn
Good Citizen
Sales Development Representative
Friendly Reminder: Sales Are Dope, Never Ever Stop Selling 👍
Mo
MonthEndSpecial
Valued Contributor
+3
Enterprise Account Executive
I think the longer you are in the sales the more you realize that BS doesn't provide any value to anyone. Your sales are lost or delayed, and the customer wastes their own time. The further you move in sales, the more your customers will align with you on "just the facts please".
TheNegotiator
Politicker
+7
VP of Sales
I was born a fairly idealistic, optimistic person.

The world taught me very quickly, that nobody gives a fuck about anyone else, and nobody gives a fuck about me.  If you want something, go take it.

So, I was cold and unforgiving long before I got into sales. I just found a healthy and constructive outlet for my cynical and sociopathic tendencies. I also really like money.
SaaSguy
Big Shot
+9
Account Executive
Sounds like you need to create more value for your product and/or lower the price.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
Quite possibly!
MCP
Valued Contributor
+4
Sales Director
Interestingly enough, sales is about helping people improve their current situation. Unfortunately, that means you have to qualify prospects to make sure you can in a way that works for them & they’re excited about.
Once you feel like your soul is hardening, that’s when you know it’s time to go into management.
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
I wouldn't say my soul is hardening, I've just noticed more of a difference in certain situations where I would have put the needs of others first and have been burned. When you hear the same tactics over and over again from the other side you start to realize who is just out for a good deal and trying to take advantage, and who actually sees the true value in it and they genuinely can't afford it - then you work with them. 
Ca
CameFortheChips
Good Citizen
Senior Sales Director
You’re either in the wrong company or just straight up shouldnt be in sales. You expect people to just sign an order form without pushing you for money off 😂
notsoadultaboutthings
Catalyst
+4
Account Manager
I don't expect them to! I understand its in our nature to negotiate, I do it too. There's certain contexts where it gets to a point where the other person is just being unrealistic and is failing to see that a price is a price for a reason. There's a lack of respect that this is a business too which needs money to run. Typically, I've experienced this with other parties who can afford our product. They see the value and have received it, but their goal is to get it for nothing pretty much. They're just being cheap.

I get this is a part of being in sales and it doesn't deter me from being in it. But I've definitely built a tolerance to not saying yes to demands/requests straight up and also recognizing when they're just playing you. Whereas before being in sales, I probably would have been more inclined to give them what they wanted without understand that they're paying for a value, whatever that is. I've just learned to push back a bit more. 
th
theweeknd
Good Citizen
+2
Account Executive
It turned me into a more ADHD and cold person...Who knows if I already had ADHD but when I'm hammering the phones and Zoom meetings, my brain is racing like it's on something. Every movement on my computer (new email, slack) I instantly open it lol. I get spazzy. Doing 10 things within 1.5 minutes. And I've learned to very quickly de qualify leads and not pursue them if I get the gut feeling they're wasting my time. 
Mobi85
Politicker
+5
Regional Sales Manager
I wouldn't say that I have become an "I don't care type of person" but sales has for sure removed any type of filter that I have left in my brain.  I do care about people but I don't feel the need to BS a response and hope that people like me because of that.  Being super nice all the time is exhausting and trying to filter what I say to be nice is even more exhausting. 
Donutpanda
Contributor
+2
Enterprise Account Executive
You probably need something fun outside of work
LordBusiness
Politicker
+8
Chief Revenue Officer
I think that’s business in general though. You could say the same thing about having to fill out another bullshit form for HR or answer another question about “personas” for marketing. Bottom line, shitty humans tend to suck the life out of us
techsales
Valued Contributor
+4
Enterprise Account Executive
In my experience, the path is:

1. Start sales, by optimistic about making money and helping people
2. Realize a lot of the job is about rejection and keeping mentally stable.
3. Care less about conflict with prospects, people being hardo's, folks who are bad fit prospects just looking for the lowest price.
4. Dedicate more time to the prospects and opportunities who appreciate great work, being treated like humans, and being educated and guided through a consultative sale.
5. Let those folks in #4 keep you in a positive vs. cold space
6
Currently wearing my sales hat while making cold calls
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Do you still wear a full suit to your 1st meeting with a prospect, or is that completely dust now and feel like a used car salesman?
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When a lead answers the phone for the first time in history only to scream at me to stop calling my first reaction is to laugh really loud. I don't even think about it.
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