poweredbycaffeine

☕️

What is one thing you want to tell your manager, but you know you'll get fired if you do?

I'll start:

You should never have been hired, or even promoted to VP at this point in your career. I do all of your work for you, but get paid 75% of what you do.

Your turn!

🏰 War Stories

🙏 Mental Wellness

65 comments

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BmajoR

Arsonist

Account Executive

You're a fat loser and you have body odor!

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

Ned Schneebly

BmajoR

Arsonist

Account Executive

@funcoupons you just made my day, thank you.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

You're welcome. It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll.

BmajoR

Arsonist

Account Executive

Oh, you're good!

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

You are tacky, and I hate you 😆

BmajoR

Arsonist

Account Executive

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

Subtle fix: slide some old spice on his desk.

SaaSam

Politicker

Account Executive

You're a joke, you're the worst teacher I've ever had!

Incognito

WR Officer

Master of Disaster

I can smell your bullshit a mile away. I’m in sales too, dickwad. Just level with me and ACTUALLY tell me what’s possible instead of throwing a pitch full of lies.

I know they’re not lies for you, but that’s cause you’re the boss.

Also, I know you only work like 30 hrs a week tops.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

One of my least favorite lines: "I worked about 50 hours on this"...oh, so you started 3 weeks ago?

Incognito

WR Officer

Master of Disaster

*3 days

NoSuperhero

Politicker

BDR LEAD

My feels right now all fucking day while working.

CoorsKing

WR Officer

Retired King of the Coors Knights

I had a case of beer at lunch watching the Blue Angels practice over my house, but nobody knows because of WFH

Incognito

WR Officer

Master of Disaster

Oh. That reminds me. I probably shouldn’t tell my boss about sending hookers to that prospect either.

CoorsKing

WR Officer

Retired King of the Coors Knights

Shit I’ve taken prospects to a strip club with former bosses

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

*Sex workers. Be proper about it and it might get a 1099 deal.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

I came back to a hotel room I was sharing with my boss and a hooker was in it...so...more on that later.

Boudreaux

Politicker

Regional Manager

Same, went to a spot where you could buy fake singles from the bartender, so it could be expensed of course!

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

Case 'o Mountains is a perk that we cannot get without the pandemic.

FamilyTruckster

Politicker

Exec Director, Major Accounts

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

Holy grail? We've already got one!

NoSuperhero

Politicker

BDR LEAD

The best last words I had with my sales manager in an old job was, apart from the money opportunity you bring here, what else are you bringing to the table? Was told to get my things soon after hahaha

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

I would have loved to see that emotion turn around on their face.

NoSuperhero

Politicker

BDR LEAD

I laughed when he said that, I don't know if I was just talking out loud or I said it to him but I remember saying that WOULD be your only response, bc you got nothing. Those moments were tense.

cw95

Politicker

Sales Development Lead

You absolute legend.

MediocreSalesGuy

Valued Contributor

AE (Account Executive)

I'm just sitting over here snorting addy's while WFH

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

Anything to get those numbers up!

Boudreaux

Politicker

Regional Manager

On fire today bro!

Kinonez

Celebrated Contributor

War Room Enthusiast

Fuck off - Kinonez

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

That would get you fired?

Kinonez

Celebrated Contributor

War Room Enthusiast

That wouldn’t get you fired? I’m sure as hell those would be my final words to my manager!

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

Depends on how I say it/the context of it.

Kinonez

Celebrated Contributor

War Room Enthusiast

I guess if you could get around it, if you don't actually say "Fuck off"

For the record this was a fun example, not targeted at anyone in the platform.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

"Hey PBC, you'll need to put in another 10 hours this week to get this project done"

Me: "Fuck off, that's a CS problem"

Not fired.

Kinonez

Celebrated Contributor

War Room Enthusiast

That would probably get me fired.

NoSuperhero

Politicker

BDR LEAD

I wish my bosses didn't look down upon on cursing so much, I'm sure I'd seem "cooler" under my CEOs eyes if I didn't have a sailor mouth everywhere I went hahaha

Incognito

WR Officer

Master of Disaster

For the record, this was a fun response, not targeted at you specifically @Kinonez . Just the duplicate accounts and bots used to commish farm on your behalf.

timoz

Insurance seller

that's too direct hahaha it may be wrong as it looks personal

fuzzy

Notable Contributor

CMO (Chief Meme Officer)

You are a charlatan ringmaster rowing a boat full of clowns honking us all the way down to our watery graves.

realhousewifeofbravado

Catalyst

the realest

You’re two faced, insecure and can’t have an adult conversation. Oh and nobody cares about your ex husband

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

I keep forgetting that I made this post, so when I get the notifications I am often like "Uhhhh...okay...that hurts"

realhousewifeofbravado

Catalyst

the realest

@poweredbycaffeine You're more beautiful than Cinderella, you smell like pine needles and your face is like sunshine

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

OH MY

realhousewifeofbravado

Catalyst

the realest

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZczAdlkA1Vo

cw95

Politicker

Sales Development Lead

Sort your calendar out so we can actually put a meeting in. Wait, micro..stop that!

Makarium

Politicker

Sdr

Have you considered selling Ice creams in a truck because you don't have the skills to tell me how to do my job properly.

You are just a storyteller who thinks have a superpower just because you are almost the CEO's boyfriend.

I think that might get you fired as soon as you finish saying it.

hh456

Celebrated Contributor

sales

If you leave, nothing will go off the rails.

MeloBanx

Director of Marketing

You know we have a small team right ? So this lack of production you talking about it kind of your fault . You fired and let people go for no reason and fail to bring in quality to replace them . These temp agents don’t care enough. Worse thing is we can all see you at your desk adjusting make up , clipping finger nails , scrolling Facebook etc ; which is why your authority over the team has greatly diminished.

timoz

Insurance seller

You should be more responsible with your time and your duties, set an example with your attitudes and not be a hypocrite by speaking ill of someone behind their back and treating them kindly up front.

cw95

Politicker

Sales Development Lead

So true mate, so true. My manager throws his toys out the pram and runs to the ceo without telling any of us what the problem is prior to going to him. Also at the same time, the problems he runs to him with aren’t actual problems but he only sees half of the issues so just creates a game of Chinese whispers. Honestly, it’s a young mans game not a Neanderthals.

timoz

Insurance seller

It is a shame to see that there are many bosses who lack good attitudes, they should be more professional and trust their work team more ... but that does not happen 😅

heelonthephone

Praised Answer

Inbound Closer

I put you on mute during our morning meeting.

dadasaurus

Opinionated

Enterprise Account Executive

"There is nothing wrong with you that a handful of Prozac and a polo mallet can't take care of. "

Diablo

Politicker

Sr. AE

I think I have a pretty good manager... Rare but true

cw95

Politicker

Sales Development Lead

Come on now.

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

VP of Sales

You’re a moron, a liar, and I’m leaving.

DealDonkey

Acclaimed Answer

Director of Business

My boss told me I was not cut out for Enterprise sales last week and I told him I was doing fine for 10 years prior to his recent arrival and am probably going to hit my quota this year as well and that his micromanaging is not going to help me achieve that goal. Waiting on the fallout here and already have some new job interviews set up.

SaaSam

Politicker

Account Executive

No, you don't have a 100% close rate, stop saying that. The only deals I've ever involved you in ended up falling through. If anything my chances of closing go down with you on a call.

Olly

Catalyst

Account Exec

"How about you do it yourself"?

*I'm experiencing a similar experience.

countingmyinterest

Politicker

Account Executive

Am I in the minority where I actually like my manager and she helps me out on deals?

JWA

Personal Narrative

Business Development Manager

Maybe. I find that in sales often good salespeople get promoted to manage. There is a big difference between being able to sell to being able to lead.

Also, I wonder how many here posting negatively might have "good" managers but are in rough companies thus making it worse on their managers.

I think most of the negative may be because they don't feel like they have a place to vent it where others get it.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

Dang. 2 year old post. Nice job finding an oldie.

draculina

Fire Starter

process development specialist

you have me do things that are outside of my actual workscope, and when i get excited about a project i managed to finish about that out of scope work, at least spend three minutes to understand what i have done.

not to mention you talk about my "sense of belonging" but you literally killed any i had with that "oh, we didn't give you ppd but the fact that you lack it shows your sense of belonging" sentence. i would criticise your leadership, but you can't criticise something that doesn't exist.

GDO

Politicker

BDM

Don’t overpromise me. And just tell me everything straight.

(too bad I need to play the whole corporate politics game)

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poweredbycaffeine

What is one thing you want to tell your manager, but you know you'll get fired if you do?

65 comments

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