wolfdad profile picture
wolfdad profile picture

wolfdad

Senior Account Executive

Contributor
Fire Starter
Good Citizen

Why my company wants me to pay for company merch?(Wrong answer only.)

My organization wants the staff to pay for company swag. It's totally bonkers to try and build company culture when you make your brand advocates pay for company branded swag. I was told we can't get free swag because it would be devalued and people would use T-Shirts to prop up wobbly desks.


My question for all of you is what is a more likely reason I am not given a free T-Shirt? Wrong answers only.


I think it's far more plausible the lizard overlords would be concerned giving away T-Shirts would be the end of capitalisms.

๐Ÿฑ Off-Topic
๐Ÿ˜‚ Sales Humor
๐Ÿค  Culture
21

44 comments

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TreTime
Catalyst
9
Account Executive
My company also does this. I have more wearable swag from our competition
wolfdad
Contributor
2
Senior Account Executive
Hahaha, ever smuggle swag from your own trade show booth?ย 
braintank
Politicker
0
Enterprise Account Executive
No! I usually end up giving it to other vendors. Hell I've given socks to homeless people.ย 
braintank
Politicker
0
Enterprise Account Executive
Good luck negotiating a raise ;)
wolfdad
Contributor
1
Senior Account Executive
I'm in the final round of interviews with another organization right now. Fingers crossed I am out by EOM.ย 
GOLFaaS
Politicker
1
Sales Leader
An entire box of yeti cups, so many usb drives from years ago and my weight in iPhone/usb cables. To name a few.
GOLFaaS
Politicker
2
Sales Leader
My favorite golf towel is from my main competitor. One of those fancy ones with a rough and soft side. Could be like 7 maybe 8 bucks. Real nice.
braintank
Politicker
0
Enterprise Account Executive
That is f-ing crazy
CuriousFox
WR Officer
8
๐ŸฆŠ
My company does this. I own nothing branded. Been here for 2 years. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ
Sunbunny31
Politicker
7
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
My way to get merch:ย  I explained that my laptop backpack was a branded one from a competitor, and it would be bad for me to show up at a customer or be on a plane with said backpack - did they have one they could send me?ย  ย Boom, box arrived, stuffed with not only the backpack but all the other merch I needed.ย  ย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
3
๐ŸฆŠ
Brilliant ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ’ฏ
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
LMK if it works for you.ย  I didn't expect the extra stuff, but was happy to get it!
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
4
โ˜•๏ธ
The CEO spent all of your latest funding round on hush money. Why? He doxxed himself when he posted a comment on the OnlyFans of your 19 year old marketing intern.
Pachacuti
Politicker
3
They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy
Just like your education, if you pay for it yourself youโ€™ll value it more.
braintank
Politicker
4
Enterprise Account Executive
The value I place on corporate swag is that I wear it when I'm doing yardwork or at the gym.
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
3
โ˜•๏ธ
Who the fuck values the $8 tri-blend grey shirt with their logo on it that they charge you $20 for? At least produce some good shit if you want me to pay.
Pachacuti
Politicker
1
They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy
I guess โ€œwrong answers onlyโ€ wasnโ€™t serious?
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
2
โ˜•๏ธ
Sorryโ€”your response was too boomer for me to take it as a joke. I will reward you with an upvote for your trouble.
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Wrong answer:ย  Have they seen you in a t-shirt?
Justatitle
Big Shot
2
Account Executive
"Bold strategy cotton let's see if it pays off for em"ย 

Tell your company they can take their merch and shove it where the sun don't shineย 
wolfdad
Contributor
1
Senior Account Executive
Love it

JohnnyMac
Executive
2
SMB Account Executive
โ€œMaybe if you hit your number every once in a while we wouldnโ€™t have to sell our own shirts to employeeโ€ -every manager
wolfdad
Contributor
1
Senior Account Executive
"Get me better leads and I can hit my number" - every sales rep.ย 
braintank
Politicker
1
Enterprise Account Executive
I'm sorry -- is this real?ย 
wolfdad
Contributor
2
Senior Account Executive
True story unfortunately. My sister worked at Shopify for 6 months and has more swag than I got in the 5 years I have at my current tech company.ย 
braintank
Politicker
1
Enterprise Account Executive
Yeah I get boxes of swag from my company monthly.ย 
braintank
Politicker
1
Enterprise Account Executive
Did they make you buy your own laptop too?
wolfdad
Contributor
2
Senior Account Executive
They don't make me pay for my laptop, but I use my personal phone for texting prospects and they don't cover any of my phone bills.ย 
braintank
Politicker
4
Enterprise Account Executive
This your CEO?ย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
6
๐ŸฆŠ
Better dot com โ˜ 
ChumpChange
Politicker
1
Channel Manager
Nothing says we're a team like being coerced into buying our company-branded apparel to support the brand.ย  Ugh.. no.
NotCreativeEnough
Big Shot
1
Professional Day Ruiner
my company has an online store for branded merch I can log in to and order whatever I want, whenever I want. I probably have thousands of dollars in company merch at this point. Branded titleist pro golf balls, golf tees, yeti tumbler's, north face jackets, dry fit polo's, portable chargers. Literally more free swag than I know what to do with but damn right I'm taking all of it. Who doesn't love free shit.ย 
AnchorPoint
Politicker
1
Business Coach
"IF" they must charge you... at least do it at cost.
wolfdad
Contributor
0
Senior Account Executive
Tough to say if it's truly at cost.ย 
TheLoneGun
Opinionated
1
Extremely Rad Product Offloading Specialist
You frequently come to the office san-shirt.
MorShark
Notorious Answer
1
Sales Engineer
We are about to launch a marketplace at company
whyyouneversmile
Good Citizen
1
Director of Sales
The new CRO guaranteed 200% revenue growth when hired, this is just one of the new revenue streams
sketchysales
Politicker
0
Sales Manager
Alternative take: Merch is managed by the owners son and he charges to make more money for himself
wolfdad
Contributor
0
Senior Account Executive
That makes tons of sense, why sell cookies door to door when you can shake down an entire business from the inside.ย 
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
0
Rolling 20's all day
I do not get any branded swag :(
wolfdad
Contributor
0
Senior Account Executive
Does that mean you rolled a natural 1 with your current role?ย 
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
0
Rolling 20's all day
no, I'd say somewhere between 5-10
drfsrich
0
Sr. Manager, Sales Ops
My old company did this -- Totally stupid.ย  Even worse, as a Manager they didn't even give me an internal budget to reward my team with corporate kitsch.
SalesJesus29
Tycoon
0
Regional Sales Director
Unfortunately, I am in the same boat. My current company makes us pay for the swag and it makes no sense to me... If companies are truly all about brand awareness, then let's make some smart decisions here...

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