5 Ways to Keep HR Out of the Office

Handy little guide from yours truly:

-Smoke grenades. Hard to acquire, but easy to deploy. Is Nancy from HR pestering you about wielding meat cleavers in front of interns? Pull the pin and drop one of these in her office when you pass by. She’ll be out of there faster than a Gong rep can say "digital transformation".

-Crank up the heat. HR Reps are cold blooded creatures. If you set the office thermostat to a moist 80 degree, they’re likely to pack up their bags and work from home.

-Land mines. Use sparingly. The goal here is to keep them on their toes, diverting the attention away from YOUR behavior to their own safety. Have your interns carefully place these in case any collateral damage occurs.

-Flatulence. Eat 2 bowls of chili before work, and let one rip on each of your trips to the water cooler. Remember, they should be knocked out by your 5th fart.

-A strange delivery. Drop suspicious looking packages covered in foreign powder in the office mailbox. Write the names of your HR reps on the top in oxblood. This will buy you some valuable time to grab your meat cleaver from the car.

So, how do you keep HR away?

-paddy