thatPropTechguy

Strategic Account Executive

Valued Contributor

Friction with my VP, and I am stumped, Savages

Savages,

Not to be too long winded, but I'm at a cross roads at my current company and it's a situation I've never dealt with before... completely centered around my relationship with my Vice President, who's also my boss.

For context, I'm an enterprise rep at a Series C Proptech company (think financial automation w/ AI components for real estate developers - awesome product, by the way). I've lead our strategic team in net-new revenue month over month, and have reached my '23 quota as of last week.

Over the last few months, my boss, who historically has been a huge internal advocate and generally supportive of me - has totally flipped the switch. My funnel reviews are filled with criticism, he's uncharacteristically curt, unresponsive, and it feels like my balloon has popped. The change in his behavior is sudden, but also noticeable to the point one of my closer colleagues actually brought it up to me privately.

His behavior hasn’t spread to my peers, who are all amazing, but not necessarily as performance focused.

I have no idea how to handle this, short of being very direct and simply asking him if I have any ducks out of row. My relationship with other leadership on our GTM team is strong and friendly.

Have any of you savages experienced something like this? Huge advocate for my org, the pay, and the product, but I’m absolutely at a loss on what to do here. Any advice is appreciated!

😤 Conflict Resolution

🏙 Corporate Experiences

👐 Emotional Regulation

40

44 comments

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oldcloser

Arsonist

26

💀

“Have I done something that offended you?”
Direct, humble, honest, and sincere is the only way.

What if someone told him you were trashing him behind his back? What if he thinks some stupid shit that isn’t real? Just ask him. Clear that air.

jefe

Arsonist

4

🍁

Simple and direct is absolutely the way.

thatPropTechguy

Valued Contributor

2

Strategic Account Executive

Thank you @oldcloser . Definitely sound advice and something I plan to put into action. We have a conference next week together, with plenty of down time, and I think it might be a great opportunity to have that conversation face to face.

I think my confusion around the situation is what’s been so unsettling

oldcloser

Arsonist

3

💀

Living with unresolved issues. Not always a seller’s strong suit. You got this

GDO

Politicker

2

BDM

This sounds good. But I don’t think it would fly in every culture

Beans

Big Shot

1

Enterprise Account Executive

This is it, be direct but respectful - also you never know what's going on someone's persona life, always assume positive intent.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

10

🦊

I had to take mine aside recently and asked, "Are you ok?" It was quite effective.

jefe

Arsonist

5

🍁

The fox with the heart of gold

CuriousFox

WR Officer

5

🦊

Not everyone sees it that way, and that's ok. Just as long as you know it ❤🦊

jefe

Arsonist

4

🍁

Unfortunately, in this life fools abound. We just need to make sure we surround ourselves with good people, at least for the most part.

HVACexpert

Politicker

8

sales engineer

Just have a private one on one with him and come to him with sincerity and see what’s up.

You never know what people are battling in their personal lives either, he could be going through something and it could be spilling into work.

But the only way to find out where you stand and gauge his status is to have a conversation.

Fenderbaum

Politicker

4

Retired Choirboy🪕

Yes, it very well could be that your boss is having difficulty in his personal life. Some people are incapable of reaching out to others for help or are too proud, and instead lash out at others when what they really want is someone to talk with... As you said, lead with empathy.

thatPropTechguy

Valued Contributor

3

Strategic Account Executive

@HVACexpert Definitely, and that’s something I’ve thought about on the personal front - would rather lead with empathy first before jumping into too many conclusions. Think the direct conversation is probably the best way to tackle it for both our sakes.

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

1

ERP Sales

You need to have a private convo and not be defensive if they mention something you did wrong

HVACexpert

Politicker

1

sales engineer

This as well, if they have a complaint take a piece of humble pie and take the criticism to heart, hopefully the conversation helps you both move forward to a solution.

Pachacuti

Politicker

7

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

I had this same thing happen a number of years ago and when I confronted the guy, he had nothing to say and I was let go a couple weeks later - not due to performance but he stated that it was because one of the VP's viewed me negatively. I pondered this and I came to the conclusion that HE was the VP who viewed me negatively. He was let go as well within 6 months, so IMO he's the a-hole here.

That said, is there anyone else in leadership you can confide in? Did you do ANYTHING which might have offended him? Anything potentially damning from a client? You don't need to say here, but answer those questions to yourself - did anything happen (or not happen) to prompt him to distance himself from you?

And it may be there was an Executive-level conversation that they need to let you go and this is his way to prep for it. I don't know - I'm just basing this off your post.

Regardless, I would sharpen the resume and backup any files, contacts, etc. you'd want to take with you if they suddenly escort you from the office.

thatPropTechguy

Valued Contributor

2

Strategic Account Executive

@Pachacuti sorry to hear you had a similar situation, it’s definitely rough. Think some self reflection from my end wouldn’t be a bad place to start either.

In any case, you hit the nail right on the head - better to be prepared than flat footed.

ThatNewAE

Big Shot

5

Account Executive - Mid enterprise

Take a 1:1 and ask him quite directly, yet humbly. Ask him what went wrong, if it is something that concerns with you or is it something else.
Tell him your observations, and how that has impacted how you perceive work.

My ex-manager did something similar to me. Turns out she had some personal problems in her marriage that made her a little bitter - nothing with me. But then she corrected herself after I pointed it out.

Sunbunny31

Arsonist

5

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Tough position. You’ve gotten great advice already, so I’ll just wish you the best.

TheHypnotist

Executive

5

VP

I recommend opening the 1 on 1 with an apology. You wont know what you're apologizing for, but it's a good way to get the VP to lower his guard. This approach tends to be rather disarming.

"I'm sorry, I seem to have done something to upset you but I'm afraid I don't know exactly where I have messed up. Please can you help me by explaining where I've gone wrong so that I can put things right?"

If he is still an asshole after that then it smells to me like he sees you as a threat and he fears for his job.

3

Senior Sales Executive

I have seen this in my career and depending on if you have an open relationship you could ask in a nice way "We really enjoy our working relationship is there anything else that you see that I could do better to help you reach your goals?" I found that if the certain % of the team is not performing then management will come down on the leader for not being a good well leader and that we are too reliant on one person to met the number. It not your fault you are crushing it but maybe it will help him open up to saying "Its not you its.... Again if you have this type of open communication style relationship.

thatPropTechguy

Valued Contributor

1

Strategic Account Executive

This resonates a lot and I appreciate you sharing. Right now, our team IS underperforming on the net-new side of things, in part to disruptions in our vertical (Commercial real estate, lending) and in part to some large layoffs through ‘23 (around 35% of the overall org.) I’m sure that pressure is building up on his end. Think talking to him directly is the best path forward

NebNella

Member

2

ww vp of sales

I suspect you might be carrying the team. If this is true then I am sure his boss or bosses have expressed concern that he is leaning on you to much or even worse has used you to make him feel insecure about his role.

While you have leverage (meaning you’re quota positive) I would set up a meeting with him quickly and be super direct about how you’re feeling. He will undoubtedly pushback but he firm and insist you aren’t in your feelings. If that doesn’t quickly change things for the better immediately go to HR and document why. HR’s sole purpose in life is to protect the company and your value is clearly higher than his.

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Solid take here.

pirate

Big Shot

1

Account Executive

How is your performance? He might be getting a lot of pressure himself

RelationshipMaker

Opinionated

1

Head of Sales

ABC in a chat like this. Always Be Curious. That way you can keep the emotion out of it. If they come back with something curt, be curious about it. Good luck, awks but get it cleared out.

Goldleader

Fire Starter

1

Senior Sales Manager

How is his overall number looking? If you are doing great and the org is not then could this be him worried you’ll take the foot off the gas when he needs more for the number. Not great leadership but could be the approach of an old school manager or someone with a lack of experience/emotional intelligence

MTW

Opinionated

1

Sales Director

I’d consider going through Dan Goodmans posts on LinkedIn. There is a possibility someone wants to let you go, so they’re creating a hostile work environment where you’ll quit (there’s a word for it and I’m pretty sure it’s generally not allowed), but agree a direct conversation around “seems like things have changed with your perception of me” would be helpful

DownToFollowUp

Good Citizen

0

Business Development

They also might not want to payout remaining commissions or year end bonus considering how large they might be in his case.

BTQ

Politicker

1

Account Manager

Curious if you have an update on how this went?

thatPropTechguy

Valued Contributor

1

Strategic Account Executive

@btq I do - I had the conversation with him, and approached it along the lines of most of the commentary here: Keep it polite, humble and simply asked if I had done something to offend him.

Needless to say, the outcome wasn’t what I had hoped for. He told me that he viewed me as the most talented rep on the team right now and the change in our relationship had nothing to do with performance (and also that he could not be offended?).

He mentioned that he has a “chip on his shoulder” towards me, and let me know that I wouldn’t reach my full potential unless I could inspire and push my colleagues to be their best as well through my day to day work. That any feedback I received would be twice as direct and “hard” as my peers.

Overall, the conversation did not feel warm or fuzzy and if anything, our working relationship has slid further down hill.

On the bright side, I obtained 2x quota for October🙂 That being said, my intuition is telling me I’m in for a very unpleasant remainder of tenure at this company…

ButterSales

Valued Contributor

0

Sales Ops

Weird way to present the situation to your benefit. Perhaps that’s just his “leadership style” but not a great one IMO if that’s true.

Did you feel he was coming from a place to actually help you?

Did you leave the conversation with next steps in regards to how you could actually act on that to help the team? If so, perhaps there is some truth to where he was coming from. Just an odd way to do it.

0

Director

Sounds like your VP wants to bounce you out! Doesn't want to pay you your commission for 2023.

LMHandle7

Executive

0

Sales Director

Get it out in the open, talk to them over some coffee or an inpromptu at the water cooler...air it out!

jbusiness

Catalyst

0

Sales Manager

I agree with the others here and would appreciate if someone approached me the same way.
“It feels like something changed in our relationship.
Did I do, or not do, something to cause this?”

posercloser

Valued Contributor

0

VP Sales

Serious question - how is the rest of the team doing? I've seen leaders take out the stress of the rest of the team on their top performers. Many sales leaders would try to squeeze everything they can out of their top performers rather than focus on up-leveling their middle performers and replacing their lower performers with more talented/seasoned reps. If he is at risk of missing his number and you're one of the only reps overachieving there could be something there.

rharris415

Contributor

0

Founder

I would not recommend apologizing. Based on what you have shared you have nothing to apologize for.
I would flip it, make it about them first, just like sales.
Perhaps they are going through something at home? Perhaps they have a sick family member?Perhaps they are getting a ton of pressure from the boss/ board?
So I would open the conversation with,
"Hey, is everything okay with you? I've noticed you seem a bit more stressed lately. And frankly, so have others.
What's going on? Is there a way I can help you?"
When they say, "Who else has said something?"
Ignore them, they are trying to change the subject because they are uncomfortable with being vulnerable.
Reply with...
"Well, What's more important is you, what's going on?"
If they demand to "know who said something."
End the conversation and walk out.
Go to HR or someone above them. It's now above your pay grade in terms of dealing with someone like this.

If they say, "Nothing is wrong" then simply say, "ok, what would you like me to do differently in terms of performance?"
Should they hit with the tone again, simply say, "Please stop."
Wait, count to 5.
Measure their reaction.
Then say, this is exactly what I was talking about.
Wait, count to 5.
Measure their reaction.
Probably best to say, "I think I need to reschedule the rest of this conversation." And walk out, you don't need anyone's permission to excuse yourself from this abuse.
Then go to their leader/ HR, etc.

Skol_salesguy

Executive

0

Regional Sales Manager

a couple thoughts from experience as a manager. He is being told to pinch you out (it happens unfortunately) by upper management or he might be closing in on a new gig himself. Is he being like that with others?

lajefa

Good Citizen

0

Enterprise Account Executive

As others have said a conversation is warranted. I'd say that it isn't personal towards you BUT you said this behavior hasn't extended to the rest of the team, just you. So definitely Red Flags there.
Even if he/she were experiencing personal issues they are letting it interfere with their treatment of you, in particular.
When you feel something it off, it usually is. Our first inclination is to dismiss those concerns because we don't want to confront the issue, but our intuition is there for a reason. In this case your intuition is telling you something is amiss and you should, imho, listen to that.
If it were me I would absolutely NOT wait until the conference to have this discussion. Put some time on their calendar and deal with this. Because if it's JUST you then that is a major red flag and needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later. Don't be blindsided by something happening. In today's environment top performers are not immune to anything. Get in front of this now.

lilhunter

Good Citizen

0

independent sales consultant

I've had this in my career one time when I found out my boss's boss wanted to promote me to his same level.
It caused my boss to treat me with odd frigidity. I could not figure it out until my boss finally grudgingly told me that he wasn't going to be my boss anymore and congratulations b/c I was moving up.
Maybe it's that you're doing so well that other people are noticing ;) !

cashingchecks

Executive

0

VP of Sales

Your VP is probably under pressure and not being transparent. I would start looking

face

Personal Narrative

0

Enterprise AE

If all is true from your end, it's entirely him. Behavior changes like this occur because they are under pressure themselves, have had a significant change of some kind and then they turn their vitriol on you. One of the comments here says to ask if he's OK. I like that. Hit him square with it. "Are you doing OK?" then dig and explain how you're feeling. Unfortunately this happened to me too. Pipeline meetings became a horse whipping contest, direct at me. It was because the VP didn't get chosen to become CRO at the time. So he was too weak to accept that and chose to take it out on me - the one actually selling and appreciated by the team.

0

Advisor

Open and transparent feedback loops and conversations are the best way to move forward.

SaasSlingin

Politicker

0

Sr AE

Curious, did you talk to him at the conference and what ended up happening here?

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