champchamp profile picture
champchamp profile picture

champchamp

Certified Savage

Arsonist
Politicker
Acclaimed Answer
+7

Job Posting Outreach Email

Hey Savages, I am applying to different roles and reaching out the sales directors to let them know and intro myself.


I wanted to get your feedback on the type of emails I am sending and if you are a hiring manager, if they'd persuade you enough to book an interview or at least check out my application or tell HR to move me forward, pr basically persuade you enough to take any sort of action haha.


Anyway, here it is:


Hi X,


I am reaching out regarding the SMB Outbound Account Executive position at "Y" as I think I'd be a great addition to the team.


My background in SAAS sales, digital marketing, and business development aligns well with the responsibilities of this role. Here are key highlights of my suitability for the position:


  • Proven Track Record: Consistently ranked in the top performance tiers at "SaaS Co Z", and "Saas Co K", surpassing sales quotas through strategic lead generation and targeted communication.

  • Expertise in SAAS and SMBs: Led digital transformation initiatives at "Digital Marketing Agency, enhancing SMBs' digital presence and revenue with AI-driven strategies.
  • Technical Proficiency: Skilled in using Salesforce, Outreach, Zoominfo and other sales automation tools essential for optimizing financial workflows.


I am drawn to "COMPANY"'s commitment to innovation and its vibrant, inclusive culture.


I am excited to bring my expertise in digital sales and marketing to your team and contribute to your mission of automating the future of finance.


I'd be honored to be considered for this role and I look forward to the opportunity to contribute to and grow with COMPANY.


P.S. I just applied for the role.


Best,


champchamp


Can I get your feedback please?

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19 comments

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Pachacuti
Politicker
4
They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy
Thats a decent cover letter. My feedback:
You say you have a proven record - I'd like to see stats on that. % quota attainment, dollar amounts, etc.

Why does proficiency in those software solutions mean anything? Every bullet should mean something.

Are you REALLY drawn to its vibrant, inclusive culture? Personally, I'm drawn to a steady paycheck from a leader in the industry, but that's just me.

The rest is fine.

Filth
Politicker
2
Live Filthy or Die Clean
To add on to this - anything you can even half justify as far as numbers is worth putting down. Cherry pick and frame nicely and you can make any situation look like a statistical MVP.
champchamp
Arsonist
1
Certified Savage
haha, you are right, I dont really care about their vibrant inclusive culture (And im latino), they just mentioned something similar in the JD and chatgpt added it and thought it was intersting so i didnt modify that part.
Great point about the specific numbers, I will add that. For the software solutions, in this case I added them because it was part of the qualifications for the role. Do you think it's fine in that case?
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
1
☕️
This is far too long. 1 2-sentence intro line. 5 bullets. A 2-sentence outro. Make a canned highlights Look recording if you prefer.
champchamp
Arsonist
0
Certified Savage
Okay, that makes sense, thank yoiu
oldcloser
Arsonist
1
💀
This is a lightly personalized GPT cover letter. Perfect grammar, syntax, and composition is no longer rare. This doesn’t make you stand out. It blends you right in with the other 200 apps they get. If I get this letter, and I frequently do, I start looking for pancakes with this syrup.

Your other post was compelling af. Your words, story, and perspective are what sets you apart. Why don’t you take the entire thing and prompt GPT to make a cover letter point of it. See what that looks like.

At least, at that point, it’ll say something.
ExtremeVibeChecker44
Arsonist
1
Inside Sales
I think this is a fine cover letter, but for an email, people's eyes are gonna glaze.
Maybe distill it down to 2-3 snappy sentences and "thank you for your consideration!" You gotta figure these people are busy as shit.
champchamp
Arsonist
0
Certified Savage
Youre right. I think the format can be short text (2 sentences, 3 bulletpoints, 1-2 sentences). Ill try to do that
champchamp
Arsonist
1
Certified Savage
Thank you man. Ill do that, logging into ChatGPT now, lets see what comes out of it, hopefully something good that i can use after polishing it.
detectivegibbles
Politicker
1
Sales Director
Agree with @oldcloser post...
I'd actually try to dumb this down a bit...and maybe try to work in some playful punny language that pertains to their company...

Just my two cents! Best of luck!
champchamp
Arsonist
1
Certified Savage
Thank you detective, ill do that.
SalesBeast
Politicker
0
Sales Leader
Solid work on the email. Make sure to customize bulletin points with using some of terms in the job descriptions. But you are doing the right things.
champchamp
Arsonist
1
Certified Savage
Glad to hear that, and yes, im trying to use similar phrases or wors as the ones used in their job desciptions. thank you.
BigShrimpin
Catalyst
0
Account executive
this is great but if you really want to be a cut above cold call the hiring manager (bonus points if theyre the sales leader) and try and get the interview that way
champchamp
Arsonist
0
Certified Savage
I agree, ive done it in the past with great success but i was able to use the previous company's zoominfo account for contact details. This time im struggling to even find emails as i dont have any tools
ExtremeVibeChecker44
Arsonist
0
Inside Sales
You can guess most email formats. Say my name is John Smith. 99% chance it's:
[email protected]@Company.com (most common)[email protected] (sometimes smaller companies have this).
I just write out all three formats into an email and send it. Two will probably bounce back but that's fine.
champchamp
Arsonist
0
Certified Savage
Yeah, im just trying to minimize bounces because after a few itll make my emails go straight to spam
Diablo
Politicker
0
Sr. AE
Same feedback - this is too long to grab someone’s attention :) Make it short and strong :)
champchamp
Arsonist
0
Certified Savage
Short and punchy. Copied, thank you.

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