Rosie

Sales Director

Valued Contributor

Professional relationships after leaving a company (Complex case)

How to maintain professional relationships after leaving a company ?

Scenario: After being a top performer you're harassed by a colleague (Let´s not deep dive into those details as it gets more complex), report it, then get laid off, while the harasser remains unaffected (Because they are buddies with the leader of the organization)? It complicates when, at a new job, your previous leaders go cold and don´t engage for example on LinkedIn, despite being neutral in person or when you talk on phone.

A secret settlement agreement (Don´t ask what that is) that you had to sign upon departure binds you to silence, leading to everyone with zipped lips so you can´t complain.

In such a case, would you:

A- Move on, leave the past behind, and disregard the lack of communication from former leaders?

B- Do something else, what?

Edit: The amount of advice and supporting comments I have received is not something I expected. Thank you all for supporting.

16

43 comments

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J.J.McLure

Politicker

8

Owner at *redacted*

Sorry to hear that happened! I went through something vaguely similar this past year. I’m still holding onto a lot of hate but the best advice I got was “don’t waste your energy thinking about people who aren’t thinking about you”

CuriousFox

WR Officer

5

🦊

Let it go bb. Don't give those fuckers power over you 🔥

HVACexpert

Politicker

2

sales engineer

Preach foxy!

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

Foxer wisdom right here☝️

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

The old "occupying space in your head rent free".
It's hard to move on, but it's time to move on.

Rosie

Catalyst

2

Sales Director

Agree

braintank

Politicker

3

Enterprise Account Executive

Well said!

Rosie

Catalyst

2

Sales Director

I have been processing what happened and you know - when you feel back stabbed and betrayed despite doing everything to serve the best interest of the same people who back stabbed you. It hurts but I guess that´s what it takes to grow.

Thankfully I have this community to share this with. And apologies for venting here.

J.J.McLure

Politicker

2

Owner at *redacted*

This is the place to do it! I sure have

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

No need to apologize for venting. We all need an outlet. Sorry it happened to you.
I'm sure that logically you realize you're better off away from it, and time will help as you put some distance between yourself and what happened.
Best thing to do is to go land an amazing new job. The best revenge is your success elsewhere.

Rosie

Catalyst

1

Sales Director

< 3

braintank

Politicker

6

Enterprise Account Executive

What support and social media engagement are you looking for?

I'm sorry this happened to you but best advice is to move on.

Rosie

Catalyst

2

Sales Director

As stupid as this might sound - the damn LinkedIn likes and so on. they went cold. I know I shouldn´t care but I am moving on and this is one of the few places I can talk about this without getting sued due to that agreement.

pirate

Big Shot

3

🦜☠️ Account Executive

Sorry you went through this. I feel like old bosses or colleagues would rarely engage on my posts unless it's a happy picture of me... so that's not unusual. Similar advice. Choose people who choose you.

Rosie

Catalyst

2

Sales Director

It helps to talk about this here. It took me a while to get over this (I am still getting over it) honestly because it was not only unfair but it also cost me a lot of money and weekends that I could have spent on myself but instead spent sending emails and closing deals thinking a top performance would be my iron suit- I was wrong.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Social media can completely be a force for the worst.
Those likes/dislikes mean nothing. They are easy to give, easy to not give, not one bit of it means there's any real engagement there or not. The sooner people can decouple their own sense of worth from whatever happens in a virtual environment the better.

pirate

Big Shot

0

🦜☠️ Account Executive

You'll be upset and hurt and angry for a while. Let yourself feel all that. At least you have learned this early and won't put any more weekends in... And maybe that there's other things worth doing more on your free time. Treat yourself to something nice this weekend. Start a gratitude journal.

Rosie

Catalyst

1

Sales Director

Thank you

Pachacuti

Politicker

4

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

Move on my friend, move on. It’s not like they were actual friends.

Rosie

Catalyst

0

Sales Director

Agree <3

LambyCorn

Arsonist

3

A mfkn E

rosie on a post roll over here

sketchysales

Politicker

0

Sales Manager

lol. try put the pieces together. i call bullshit.

FoodForSales

Politicker

2

AE

A, definitely.

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

2

Sales Rep

Really sorry to hear this, but it i would recommend A

Rosie

Catalyst

1

Sales Director

Going for it.

HVACexpert

Politicker

1

sales engineer

I’m sorry this happened to you Rosie. And it’s easier said than done, but it’s time to move on. Maybe unfollow them or even take a break from LinkedIn if you can (if it’s not required for work).

In the meantime find something for you to do to get your mind off things. Make sure to take care of yourself.

Rosie

Catalyst

1

Sales Director

Thank you

Maximas

Tycoon

1

Senior Sales Executive

They don't deserve neither your time nor your energy, so leave it all behind and sorry for what happened!

Rosie

Catalyst

0

Sales Director

I agree, thanks.

GDO

Politicker

1

BDM

that sucks. I hate these settlements that make you shut up. Maybe something to investigate: in our country, they are not legally binding if the subject is an illegal activity.

Rosie

Catalyst

0

Sales Director

I totally agree.

1

Retired Sales Professional

First of all no one should ever have to go through that, for that I'm sorry you had to deal with that crap. In times like these we need to remember what we encourage our kids to do. There is a old rhythm that comes to mind and it goes like this,
"I'm rubber and your glue, what ever you say or do bounces of me an sticks to you."

Know this may sound childish, but if it is; why do we encourage our kids to use it. Should we not take this advice as well?

The underlining message is just what the Fox said. You are the only one who can determine how much power and control your going to give someone. No one has control over you unless you give it to them.

Now, you need stop thinking about those losers. They lost a hard worker and some other company will reap the rewards. Don't let this put a damper on your holidays, enjoy it with friends and family. Truly I say all the best. 👍👍

Rosie

Catalyst

0

Sales Director

Thank you for the kind words, it makes sense.

Diablo

Politicker

1

Sr. AE

Move on because you are the only one who would be affected in this thought process. Difficult to forgive and forget but it’s possible with time :)

Rosie

Catalyst

0

Sales Director

Thank you.

Beans

Big Shot

1

Enterprise Account Executive

I want all the tea now though.
But A is my choice.

Rosie

Catalyst

1

Sales Director

Going for A.

Justatitle

Big Shot

1

Account Executive

Let sleeping dogs lie, letting stuff go is so much healthier than holding a grudge. you'll be so much better off for it as well. Focus your energy on what matters, find things you like to do, use your time to be happy. Misery loves company but Joy is so much more fun

Rosie

Catalyst

1

Sales Director

Thank you. :)

Goldleader

Fire Starter

1

Senior Sales Manager

Why do you need engagement from the previous leaders? Are you still working with that organisation in some capacity on any partnerships, or projects involving your new company?

If not just leave it in the past and move on.

Rosie

Catalyst

1

Sales Director

Taking everyone´s advice and moving on. :)

1

Business Development Manager

Don't waste energy on it. Letting go will make you feel better in the long run. You're better than them.

Additionally, maintaining a professional relationship is impossible in this scenario. They've obviously taken sides, they let you go. This means that even though you were a top performer, when a new employer calls, they would never be open and honest. They might even not mention you were a top performer.

Rosie

Catalyst

0

Sales Director

True.

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