poweredbycaffeine

☕️

Second Cup Be Hittin: Alternative Comp Model

Sipping on my second cup of George Howell La Soledad (Guatemala) out of my Chemex...and I started thinking about some random shit, as one does.

Would you take a job if you were compensated as follows:

3-year contract
Full Benefits
Majority compensation is one lump payment to pay off all outstanding debts of you and your adult dependents (spouse/partner).
Living expense stipend to cover food, utilities, rent, etc (based on average costs of your area), to be reviewed each year of your contract to account for the cost of living increase, etc.

Sure, it sounds A LOT like indentured servitude...but that doesn't change my question. Would you do it?

So...would you accept this comp package?

Attached poll

Sign me up! Uhhh I will swim in this debt...no thanks. Better than a squid game...

*Voting in this poll no longer yields commission.

💰 Compensation

26

44 comments

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funcoupons

WR Officer

14

👑

If it involved doing something I actually liked, I'd consider it.

I'd need better than average living expenses tho, you know your girl has champagne taste...

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

5

☕️

...on a Canadian Club budget. I gotchu girl. Same here.

funcoupons

WR Officer

6

👑

I mean, I've been doing pretty well lately so we can up that to Crown Royal.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

3

☕️

Ohhhh baby!

jefe

Arsonist

1

🍁

Better make it Northern Harvest @funcoupons !

paddy

WR Officer

10

Director of Business Development

Throw in 4 interns in maid costumes and I'm in.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

2

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Cost of living expense right there.

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

2

VP of Sales

Maid? Idk man, I’d prefer like a really slutty nurse. She’s a medical professional, I have to take my clothes off when she asks

CuriousFox

WR Officer

8

🦊

I don't trust it 👀

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

6

☕️

Squid game for you then!

Incognito

WR Officer

8

Master of Disaster

Depends on the job, the level
of compensation and how much control I would have over staffing. If I could hire and fire who I choose, hell yes.

That being said, it would also matter what country the job would be based out of. In Sweden, for example, it’s near impossible to fire someone. So getting a fat paycheck regardless of competency sounds pretty sweet.

Also, this is essentially the comp model for my former industry without a contract or benefits.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

4

☕️

Sweedish meatballs are now a part of your comp plan.

UrAssIsSaaS

Arsonist

7

SaaS Eater

Dont hate it - how would you classify mortgage? Does that fall into debt that would be paid off or part of living expenses. Same question for car payments etc

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

4

☕️

That's a hard one. If you were hired with a $500k mortgage do you count that in as cost of living? I'd say so. I think the debt falls more into student or CC debt that you accrued from making bad choices.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

3

☕️

Car payments wise--you elected to purchase that vehicle. That's your cost of living. Company could cap the amount you can spend per month on certain things, too.

UrAssIsSaaS

Arsonist

4

SaaS Eater

Got it. For me then, Im out haha. I would love to have my mortgage paid for but I dont carry any debt aside from mortgage and car payments so I think I would make more in bonuses than having that paid for up front.

That being said there are a lot of people that are shitty with money that this would be far better for than you run of the mill comp plan.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

4

☕️

I suppose in this world we are dreaming up, you can accept a standard comp package.

InQ5WeTrust

Arsonist

5

No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL

Do I get a snazzy teal coloured number to wear? If so, count me in.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

5

☕️

Yes, but your number is 42069.

InQ5WeTrust

Arsonist

5

No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL

Nice. My ganbu is my dealer.

CoorsKing

WR Officer

5

Retired King of the Coors Knights

What are the showers like?

Does the stipend cover beer deliveries?

Is the lump payment going to be paid as salary, a bonus, or commission? (Trying to figure out how fucked taxes will be)

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

3

☕️

Lump payment is made on your behalf, so the IRS will never know it to be income.

As for showers. Glass walls. One bench. Steam & triple-head (2-wall and one rainfall)

Beer is always in the office.

CoorsKing

WR Officer

4

Retired King of the Coors Knights

How big is the bench? I need it big enough to fit 3. Stadium seating is preferred

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

3

☕️

Let me talk to my marble guy...he does magical work when we need it.

JustGonnaSendIt

Politicker

4

Burn Towns, Get Money

I'm debt free so... Nah.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

4

☕️

Well goooood for yooooou.

Seriously, good for you.

JustGonnaSendIt

Politicker

2

Burn Towns, Get Money

Thank you! It was a long 3 year journey from being deep in CC debt and car loans from bad lifestyle decisions.

Those commission checks are so much sweeter when you don't have to break off a piece to the bank.

Mobi85

Politicker

3

Regional Sales Manager

That is a pretty crazy proposition and with the job market the way it is right now I could see some wild start up that would try and pull this far fetched comp plan off. Would be interesting to see in real life.....please don't show this to Dan Price.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

5

☕️

Who says I didn't get this from Dan Price, who got it from Gary V, who is the mouthpiece of Grant Cardone?

FamilyTruckster

Politicker

3

Exec Director, Major Accounts

You would easily have takers for this if outlined up front.

lots of folks are painted into a corner, and this would remove the stress of trying to figure it out themselves.

you’re a dark, twisted ruler @poweredbycaffeine

Diablo

Politicker

2

Sr. AE

As far it pays of all my debt, I am in 👽

If my debt is a million dollar, what do you think my quota will be 🤣?

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

3

☕️

Under this plan, you are measured and comped commission on a standard package. You simply forego a full base.

1nbatopshotfan

Politicker

2

Sales

No debt so it’s a no for me.., toss in unlimited craft beers and I’d consider

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

2

☕️

In lieu of pay, we will supply you with any can or bottle of the sweet elixir of craft brew.

Beans

Big Shot

2

Enterprise Account Executive

I don't have any debt though...

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

2

☕️

23-year-old Broady, who partied 4 years at High Point and got a Comm degree (2.2 GPA, btw), isn't as lucky as you, Sir Beans.

Justatitle

Big Shot

2

Account Executive

I think I'd sign up for it. would be creating a budget without me having to manage it.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

3

☕️

Check your inbox for the DocuSign. We require a wet (blood) sig, so better find a printer.

Justatitle

Big Shot

1

Account Executive

Still would do it

GDO

Politicker

1

BDM

3 years to pay for the mortgage I just got seems perfect.

thebuckhunter

Politicker

0

AE

Sounds good so long as there wasn't any type of punishment for doing a bad job.

E_Money

Big Shot

0

💰

Do we get any incentive to over perform on top of lump sum salary? AKA bonus structure or comp? If so... I would consider it for sure

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

1

☕️

I’d say all commission and/or bonuses are yours.

LordOfWar

Tycoon

0

Blow it up

Tax implications on this would be a nightmare, but if they are gonna pay out my mortgage in 3 years I'd consider it.

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