Being ugly in sales

Buckle up. I'm gonna tell you a story.

Imagine this. You're in a dimly lit bar. Think "Nighthawks" by Hopper. You're at 80% of your target. You have average territories, above-average ability. There's a couple of deals you think back on — eh, you could've won if you'd done a bit more. 

"That's always the case, isn't it?" You muse, taking a long sip of your JD and coke. A simple beverage, reminding you of a simple time. A time when you were a BDR, just starting out. You were eating noodles for £2 because your base pay was £23k and commission was £50 a meeting. 

You'd use office predrinks as an excuse to get wasted because it was too expensive to go out in London. You cared little about your health, going to the gym. Now? You're on a £70k base and make £150k OTE. You smash the gym, you run. You're... healthy. Albeit with a crippling caffeine dependency.

And then you see her enter. You recognise her face. A pretty thing, a delicate face balanced upon a well-toned body, with only a slightly swan-like neck throwing off her proportions. She sits just a stool across from you at the bar.

She orders a JD and coke. As she catches the Bartenders attention, you hastily add, "Another for me, thanks." You catch eachother's eyes — but you're still too shy to make conversation. Hastily, however, you add, "I'll get this. For jumping on your order." You hope it played off as self-assured; not creepy. She smiles, which suggests it did. 

The bartender, however, facilitates. A portly man with a mischevous smile that belies his years. "Same order, makes it nice and easy. You two work together? We don't see many in here at this time."

You laugh. "I doubt it." You both say at the same time. You both look at each other. 

"Sales?" You ask.

She laughs.

"Sales, yes." She says.

"Tough year for inbound," You say. You're self deprecating — but you know you're doing better than most, and this conversation will lead to the ability to somewhat nonchalantly reference your outbound ability — your creativity and guile mixed with a determined, concerted effort to never forget this is a numbers game. Personalisation... with relevancy. You've got this. You're a wordsmith. This is another just another discovery call, champ. Only you're eyeing up her finger for a competitor.

"Nah." She says.

"Oh? Strong marketing team?"

"No." She continues. "I just post selfies on LinkedIn and get horny men to buy from me. Like you just did with this drink. I hit 170% of my target."

You cry.

The end.



🤔 foodforthought
😎 Sales Skills
☁️ Software Tech
30
Justatitle
Big Shot
11
Account Executive
Read the whole thing, usually, I am a TLDR guy, it is an unfair advantage they have...
Sunbunny31
Politicker
7
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
It's shortlived, though. Middle aged women become invisible (I like to think of it as a superpower though), so you do have to build up good sales chops.
I also know a very odd-looking guy who is very successful at sales. You gotta work with what you have.
DionysusClytemNe
Valued Contributor
10
Account Executive
Just as a note here — the joke here isn’t the woman being attractive, the joke is our seller here being stupid enough to buy her a drink, just as all the horny men take meetings they otherwise wouldn’t. She’s not the enemy; she’s just exploiting a broken system.

Also while it’s proven female BDRs book more meetings, female AE’s face other prejudices that make it harder to close (“not taken as seriously” is the big one)
jefe
Arsonist
8
🍁
This was not what I was expecting, and was more amusing than I thought it'd be.

Well done
HVACexpert
Politicker
3
sales engineer
This is long, although I did read through and got a chuckle out of it.
3
Founding BDR
Crazy how much looks factor into the head start you get
Revenue_Rambo
Politicker
3
Director, Revenue Enablement
Strong reminder why psychology matters in sales 😂
RandyLahey
Politicker
2
Account Executive
TLDR is the way to go.
DataCorrupter
Politicker
6
Account Executive
Nah, this one is all about the art and the punchline.
BigShrimpin
Catalyst
2
Account executive
brutal
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
That was a well-told tale.
DionysusClytemNe
Valued Contributor
2
Account Executive
Thanks homie, aimed to get a lil chuckle
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
It worked, thanks!
sleepingjaguar
Opinionated
1
CSM, Emerging Markets
LMAAAOOOO
sketchysales
Politicker
1
Sales Manager
This was good but also hits a little close to home lol. The bar part, not the selfie part.
highdefblackhole
1
AM
Brilliant line: Only you're eyeing up her finger for a competitor.
bonez
Politicker
0
Account Executive
*Cries in ugly*
AnchorPoint
Politicker
0
Business Coach
hmmmm
Rosie
Catalyst
0
Sales Director
Though beauty is not enough when selling complex products
eusales
Contributor
0
Senior Account Executive
We will conquer the world
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