Back
The War Room
Question
Post

What was your sassiest reply on a cold email?

Every so often, we all get some sassy replies from prospects. Recently, I've gotten some clever feedback like:


"your website looks outdated and it's hard to understand what you offer. You look bad and should feel bad. Get a better designer."


And always, there's the timeless classic one-liner:


"Fuck off"


What sassy reply has given you a good laugh lately? (Of course, keep all prospects anonymous)

💌 Cold Emailing
37
sheineken
Acclaimed Answer
+4
Senior Sales Manager
"Unsubscribe" reply to a manually written and personalized email
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Brevity is the soul of wit
sheineken
Acclaimed Answer
+4
Senior Sales Manager
He hurt my feelings man! Haha
Show 2 more replies
Numbers
Good Citizen
+1
Associate regional manager
Just had this and then I was sassy back " I sent you a real email and did not automate it so there is no unsubscribe bob" Then he sent ANOTHER email explaining himself and how it would still be a good idea... and never acknowledged my email of course.
fr
fred
Valued Contributor
+4
salesperson
I do this too - usually backed up with an industry article stating a buying  signal - problem solver - it winds me up i get angry when they do this especially on a personalised EMAIL 
ChuckBartowski
SDR
Just got this but the prospect copied my entire email into the body, and changed the subject line to ‘unsubscribe’
beachNsales
Politicker
+3
Account Executive
This.... toss in quoting the CAN-SPAM act 
Kanyebut4sales
WR Lieutenant
+6
Account Executive
"I will report you to the FBI" 

Ok Debra I am sure they are gonna take me down for emailing HR about their total rewards program gaps
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
Are you sure her name wasn't Karen?
Kanyebut4sales
WR Lieutenant
+6
Account Executive
Fair point 😳
SADNESSLieutenant
Arsonist
+8
SDR
Debra Wildin

sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
😂
circlingback
Good Citizen
BDR
LOL
NoOneLoveSalesLikeGaston
Old School Bravo
Associate Consultant
hahaa
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
That’s 25 to life, son. Take him away.
exec
Catalyst
+5
Account Executive
we once received a complaint from someone because the SDR's email subject line was simply Rep Name + Prospect Name 

the SDR was a woman and the prospect (male) said the email caused questions from his wife 
Stardust
WR Officer
+9
President
Oh god, priceless.  Never mind the obvious questions, why his wife is reading work email. 
SalesPharaoh
Politicker
+8
AM BDR
Hahahahaha damn why or how did his wife see this email?
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Now I kindof want to do that if I get a totally irrelevant cold email... just to give the SDR a good story to tell haha
Lh
Lhatem
Good Citizen
BDR
Priceless! Sure there was no deal after that
ruca1213
Contributor
+1
Regional Sales Director
😂😂
AZGiantsFan
Old School Bravo
Account Executive
This is absolutely amazing! I hope i get this response one day! LOL
We_All_We_Got
Old School Bravo
AE
FTW
SpiderHam
Opinionated
+3
Manager, Sales Development
I once had someone say they built an in-house software that did exactly what our company did, but better. I told him fine, then prove it. We set up a head-to-head test, he lost, and ended up becoming a customer 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Wow I hope you got a case study out of that one that's awesome!
Tres_Comas
Politicker
+6
Account Executive
I once had someone email me back "I bet you like c*ck, huh?" with two of his coworkers cc'd on it. 

I was tempted to reply all and include his manager and director but didn't.
Da
DaveFromCollege
Notorious Answer
+7
Account Executive
TBH, I might be petty enough to CC his manager/director in
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
I 100% would have. 
Show 1 more replies
Jo
JordyA
Good Citizen
+1
Director of Enterprise Sales
I would have emailed that to everyone, and screenshot it and posted to LinkedIn without blacking out the name.
SADNESSLieutenant
Arsonist
+8
SDR
#reversethescript
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Wow, that's more than sassy. That's just rude. Doesn't sound like a company worth working with anyway
SalesPharaoh
Politicker
+8
AM BDR
I'd do it. 
salessavage12
Enterprise Account Executive
That's one of the funniest responses back I've ever heard! He had the balls to cc his coworkers? I'm still laughing out loud 
We_All_We_Got
Old School Bravo
AE
This one is insane, you got to put him on blast for that one.
ATLSalesQueen
Contributor
+2
Sales Consultant
“Emailing me is probably not a good use of your time” 
SiliconBBQ
Politicker
+2
Account Executive
sounds like they were being direct and thoughtful, actually. 

Not sure of the context, but onto the next one.
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
This needs to be upvoted. So. Much. Sass.
deviantzen
WR Lieutenant
+9
Consultant
I once had a prospect that was so offended by a cold call they proceeded to dial my phone 3x per day for a week.
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Now that's commitment
ri_ri
WR Officer
+3
Account Executive
Wow this is so good, I almost like this person😂
SalesGal
Politicker
+6
Account Manager / FSR
That's another level of pettiness lol 
thegreatestsalesperson
Notable Contributor
+17
AE
From Today:
Please don’t email me anything ever again
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Love those dramatic ones
bitchbetterhavemymoney
Contributor
+1
Channel Account Manager
"This is not a relationship I'm interested in." - about my work or about my love life? TBD.
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Now that's just cold
lisa
Notable Contributor
+6
Product @ Bravado
hahahaha
peter
Account Marketing Manager
"I have a boyfriend"
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
No amount of sales training prepares you for that 😂
cabell76
Big Shot
+3
VP of Enterprise Sales
"Please cease and desist with these harassing emails.  I am in the middle of trying to manage nursing services for a pandemic and don't appreciate the extra junk in my inbox"

Then he finds the time while managing nursing services for a pandemic to research who my CEO, Chief Communications Officer, and Chief Medical Officer are (as well as their emails) so he can send them a detailed email about my harassing emails.
cabell76
Big Shot
+3
VP of Enterprise Sales
Oh...and in his email signature, this quote is there:

"To reveal and embody Christ's healing love for all people through our high quality Franciscan health care ministry"

Evidently, sales people don't qualify as "all people". 
SalesGal
Politicker
+6
Account Manager / FSR
That's awkward...
Show 1 more replies
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Wild.
Prospecting4Fun
Senior Account Executive
Got an email back from a prospect that said he would rather talk to his ex wife about increasing his alimony payments than to me about our company. 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Head to head test? 
Av
AverageBDR
BDR
"Please review the GDPR rule and stop harassing me like a soap salesman"

At this moment I realized that I am not more prestigious in any way selling SaaS than soap, ouch. 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Don't sell yourself short, soap is pretty wild these days
millennial_entrepreneur
Good Citizen
+2
Territory Field Sales
"Don't worry man, our APIs are REST based, not SOAP."
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
I had a woman email me demanding how I got her email address and said that after I tell her how "she'll decide" if she wants to talk to me or not...it was publicly available online. 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Prospect: How did you get my email???
Me: I literally just googled your name
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
Or "how did you find my company?" Um...ever heard of Google?
captainav
Old School Bravo
Head of Growth, Partner
Hilarious.

A friend of mine saw a post from one of those execs who shame people...friend reached out and said I get it, please don't shame me...friend thought that would be a light-hearted way to build rapport...needless to say the friend too was shamed.
jefe
Politicker
+3
Sales Director
This is my favourite objection!

Google, your website, ZoomInfo.....

So many possibilities 
Trinity
WR Officer
+7
BusDev
"This has to be the most generic email I've ever received" - when in fact it was a follow-up email and he didn't read the email thread. He's a VP of Product Dev. But oh well, I ended up booking a meeting with the CXO
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Haha nice that'll show him
gdzll
Contributor
+1
Sales Development Representative
"I don’t what in that text that leads you to believe that we have suddenly overthrown our strategy, but I can assure you that sales people repeatedly reaching out when there are zero sales signals do not really put the company they represent in a better light on my end."
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
🥶
gdzll
Contributor
+1
Sales Development Representative
uhmmm ok MR/MS customer
SalesGal
Politicker
+6
Account Manager / FSR
You got a good chuckle out of me with that first reply ! I don't get many sassy replies to emails. Mostly just get ignored lol. 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Unfortunately, all it takes is catching the wrong person when they're having a bad day. Sometimes people just gotta vent and end up using SDRs as their punching bags
SalesGal
Politicker
+6
Account Manager / FSR
Yeah for sure ! I get most of my sass from prospects by phone. I’d rather emails though. At least I wouldn’t have to keep a polite voice on lol
SalesPharaoh
Politicker
+8
AM BDR
Prefer to get the sassy emails than bein ignored...they make cool stories, keep you going.
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
True! Plus if you're just getting ignored it might be time to switch up your subject lines or check your email deliverability
salesnerd
WR Officer
+16
Head of Growth
I always hate it when someone picks apart my cold email... especially if they don't work in sales. 

Like cool, thanks for telling me I should list relevant clients instead of our biggest logos or I shouldn't link out to external sources on my email... do you want to talk or not?
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Ah yes the self-righteous response. And if they include the phrase "feedback is a gift" in the email you know it's a rough one.
SalesPharaoh
Politicker
+8
AM BDR
Yea, and be the reason why they don't want to talk. Even pitch you career coaching which is his side hustle
ColdCallPro
Opinionated
+3
Account Executive
"If you really work with our company, why don't you know who handles your platform"
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Oof I can feel the sass
SaaSyMcSaaSerson
BDR
My response to sassy emails: “Thank you, I’ll give Clippy your feedback” 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Haha I've been thinking of a good follow-up for them that's pretty good
fuzzy
Notable Contributor
+21
CMO (Chief Meme Officer)
I personally love the quick "No." replies. 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Saves you time too so those are win-wins!
SalesSweetheart
Good Citizen
Director of Sales
"Don’t care - get lost loser"
 

I read it and chuckled, been a hot minute since I was last called a loser. 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Haha it's so funny to think that an actual adult human would write something like that
SalesSweetheart
Good Citizen
Director of Sales
Also have had one reply that they would subscribe me to porn and XXX emails. They provide me so many laughs they dont even know. 
Show 2 more replies
SaaSysales
Praised Answer
+1
Account Executive, SMB
"Hi xxx, the reason why I didn't get back to you was because I didn't want to be rude... But since you sent me another email now...

First of all... I do not recall giving you my email or authorizing this. So, why are you spamming me? Why would you send emails to professional email addresses without authorization for that?

Second.. If you want to advertise your product, there are better (less intrusive) ways of doing it. Conferences, internet ads, articles, workshops, etc... Spamming random people is not a good strategy. Myself, for once... Would never want business with a company that uses this ugly market strategy. You probably already know that all of us, including yourself, already receive hundreds of emails daily for work + spam, and that we waste precious time dealing with these emails. The last thing we need is to waste time reading an email just to find out it's a spam, advertising something. (See, I'm already using time to get back to you now because you would probably send me other emails if I don't).

Third... Not only you decided to spam me, but you also did it through my professional email. How did you do that? You just figured that, "hey, if he works at flipp and most companies adopt first name dot last name @ domain"... 

Well, even though I appreciate your interest, please stop spamming my mailbox.

Have a great week and stay safe."

I sent this man two emails -- first one tailored & short as he had used us at his previous company. Second was an auto email bumping it to the top of his inbox. This was a year ago. A new hire on my team reached out and he replied with the same thing word for word. I assume this is his standard reply to all sales related emails. Jerk.
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
I'd be tempted to reply simply with:

tl;dr
SaaSysales
Praised Answer
+1
Account Executive, SMB
might reply with that now...a year later
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Yikes... What was his title? 
SaaSysales
Praised Answer
+1
Account Executive, SMB
Senior SRE smh... In my experience, low level folks are WAY more sassy vs c suite.
Show 1 more replies
SalesGal
Politicker
+6
Account Manager / FSR
For a guy that doesn't have precious time to waste, he sure put a lot of time creating a "I don't have time for this" template... 
imindanger
Director of Sales
Quite polite actually but still belongs here: "No thanks. I don't do pitches right when I connect with folks." 

...Should I buy you a drink first? Spend a few months chatting about the weather? Meet the parents?
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Meet the parents seems like a good first step 👍
Sales4what
Opinionated
+4
Co-Founder & VP Sales @ PLURiTy
“Ok boomer,I don’t need your business, you need mine, don’t forget that you approached me@
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Sooooo much entitlement
Sales4what
Opinionated
+4
Co-Founder & VP Sales @ PLURiTy
150k sale 
DataSlangah
Politicker
+4
SAE
"Sure, we can meet.  Please send a jar of vaseline in advance.  I have found it makes interactions like ours less painful."  I actually laughed and sent a jar of vaseline, and still no meeting.
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
That's amazing! Can't believe they didn't give you a meeting after all that...
TheLaughingWolf
WR Officer
+7
Account Development Representative
This is harassment. Stop emailing me now! And Canada doesn't even have escrow services, so why are you emailing me?

In fact, Canada does have escrow services. 
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Wow some people are shocking
TheLaughingWolf
WR Officer
+7
Account Development Representative
Yeah. Lol makes you wonder about the human species at times. God help us if Otters ever decide to team up with Emus and start another great Emu War. 
FringeGuy
Contributor
+2
Mid-Market Account Executive
"I'm glad to see you're on the 26th floor of your building. That's high enough that you can jump out the window and kill yourself"
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Now that's just mean
SalesGal
Politicker
+6
Account Manager / FSR
Wow...I agree with@sebsthis one is downright mean...
ajbuttler
Good Citizen
Senior Account Executive
Not an email response but rather taking the time to request a demo submitted as:

Name: DIE YOU FUCKING SPAMMERS
Company: STOP EMAILING ME
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Yikes... don't people know there's an unsubscribe button??
SalesVEEP
Opinionated
+3
VP of Sales
"Didn't pay attention in college did you?" Jokes on them, I didn't go to class at all...which is why I'm in sales...
sebs
Politicker
+8
BDR
Ha that'll show em!
SalesVEEP
Opinionated
+3
VP of Sales
Lad had nothing to say after that he just laughed so I just proceeded with the pitch. He's been a client of mine for two years now.
8
Cold Email MasterClass
Advice
5
36
Cold Email Masterclass
Discussion
27
17
Cold Email Template
Advice
29