sebs

BDR

What was your sassiest reply on a cold email?

Every so often, we all get some sassy replies from prospects. Recently, I've gotten some clever feedback like:

"your website looks outdated and it's hard to understand what you offer. You look bad and should feel bad. Get a better designer."

And always, there's the timeless classic one-liner:

"Fuck off"

What sassy reply has given you a good laugh lately? (Of course, keep all prospects anonymous)

💌 Cold Emailing

192 comments

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369DocuSign

Big Shot

Sales Director

"Unsubscribe" reply to a manually written and personalized email

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Brevity is the soul of wit

369DocuSign

Big Shot

Sales Director

He hurt my feelings man! Haha

Hocael

Fire Starter

Partner Manager

I've gotten that, too! And I even really personalize my cold outreaches. I'm not a machine!

sketchysales

Politicker

Sales Manager

that might have been me. Im sorry.

beachNsales

Politicker

Sales Manager

This.... toss in quoting the CAN-SPAM act

Numbers

Opinionated

Associate regional manager

Just had this and then I was sassy back " I sent you a real email and did not automate it so there is no unsubscribe bob" Then he sent ANOTHER email explaining himself and how it would still be a good idea... and never acknowledged my email of course.

fred

Valued Contributor

salesperson

I do this too - usually backed up with an industry article stating a buying signal - problem solver - it winds me up i get angry when they do this especially on a personalised EMAIL

ChuckBartowski

SDR

Just got this but the prospect copied my entire email into the body, and changed the subject line to ‘unsubscribe’

exec

Acclaimed Answer

Account Executive

we once received a complaint from someone because the SDR's email subject line was simply Rep Name + Prospect Name

the SDR was a woman and the prospect (male) said the email caused questions from his wife

Stardust

WR Officer

President

Oh god, priceless. Never mind the obvious questions, why his wife is reading work email.

SalesPharaoh

Big Shot

Senior Account Executive

Hahahahaha damn why or how did his wife see this email?

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Now I kindof want to do that if I get a totally irrelevant cold email... just to give the SDR a good story to tell haha

Lhatem

Opinionated

BDR

Priceless! Sure there was no deal after that

ruca1213

Contributor

Regional Sales Director

😂😂

AZGiantsFan

Good Citizen

Account Executive

This is absolutely amazing! I hope i get this response one day! LOL

We_All_We_Got

Old School Bravo

FTW

Kanyebut4sales

WR Lieutenant

Account Executive

"I will report you to the FBI"

Ok Debra I am sure they are gonna take me down for emailing HR about their total rewards program gaps

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

Are you sure her name wasn't Karen?

Kanyebut4sales

WR Lieutenant

Account Executive

Fair point 😳

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

Officer of ♥️

Debra Wildin

CadenceCombat

Tycoon

Account Executive

That’s 25 to life, son. Take him away.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

😂

circlingback

Praised Answer

Strategic Account Manager

LOL

NoOneLoveSalesLikeGaston

Executive

Associate Consultant

hahaa

SpiderHam

Opinionated

Manager, Sales Development

I once had someone say they built an in-house software that did exactly what our company did, but better. I told him fine, then prove it. We set up a head-to-head test, he lost, and ended up becoming a customer

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Wow I hope you got a case study out of that one that's awesome!

deviantzen

WR Lieutenant

Consultant

I once had a prospect that was so offended by a cold call they proceeded to dial my phone 3x per day for a week.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Now that's commitment

ri_ri

WR Officer

Account Executive

Wow this is so good, I almost like this person😂

SalesGal

Politicker

Account Executive

That's another level of pettiness lol

Tres_Comas

Politicker

Account Executive

I once had someone email me back "I bet you like c*ck, huh?" with two of his coworkers cc'd on it.

I was tempted to reply all and include his manager and director but didn't.

DaveFromCollege

Notorious Answer

Account Executive

TBH, I might be petty enough to CC his manager/director in

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I 100% would have.

Hocael

Fire Starter

Partner Manager

same

JordyA

Good Citizen

Director of Enterprise Sales

I would have emailed that to everyone, and screenshot it and posted to LinkedIn without blacking out the name.

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

Officer of ♥️

#reversethescript

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Wow, that's more than sassy. That's just rude. Doesn't sound like a company worth working with anyway

SalesPharaoh

Big Shot

Senior Account Executive

I'd do it.

salessavage12

Enterprise Account Executive

That's one of the funniest responses back I've ever heard! He had the balls to cc his coworkers? I'm still laughing out loud

We_All_We_Got

Old School Bravo

This one is insane, you got to put him on blast for that one.

coletrain

Politicker

Account Executive

You should have and typed out "Curious if this is how your staff treats its clients?"

Also offer to provide a shared screen to verify it is not doctored

ATLSalesQueen

Contributor

Sales Consultant

“Emailing me is probably not a good use of your time”

SiliconBBQ

Politicker

The Metal Rooster

sounds like they were being direct and thoughtful, actually.

Not sure of the context, but onto the next one.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

This needs to be upvoted. So. Much. Sass.

peter

Account Marketing Manager

"I have a boyfriend"

sebs

Politicker

BDR

No amount of sales training prepares you for that 😂

thegreatestsalesperson

Tycoon

From Today:
Please don’t email me anything ever again

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Love those dramatic ones

Prospecting4Fun

Senior Account Executive

Got an email back from a prospect that said he would rather talk to his ex wife about increasing his alimony payments than to me about our company.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Head to head test?

goldenlazard

Politicker

Senior SDR

bahahhaha

bitchbetterhavemymoney

Opinionated

Director of Strategic Alliances

"This is not a relationship I'm interested in." - about my work or about my love life? TBD.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Now that's just cold

lisa

Notable Contributor

Product @ Bravado

hahahaha

cabell76

Tycoon

VP of Enterprise Sales

"Please cease and desist with these harassing emails. I am in the middle of trying to manage nursing services for a pandemic and don't appreciate the extra junk in my inbox"

Then he finds the time while managing nursing services for a pandemic to research who my CEO, Chief Communications Officer, and Chief Medical Officer are (as well as their emails) so he can send them a detailed email about my harassing emails.

cabell76

Tycoon

VP of Enterprise Sales

Oh...and in his email signature, this quote is there:

"To reveal and embody Christ's healing love for all people through our high quality Franciscan health care ministry"

Evidently, sales people don't qualify as "all people".

SalesGal

Politicker

Account Executive

That's awkward...

SquadUp

Valued Contributor

Strategic Account Executive

Christ's healing love doesn't apply to us Sales Savages. We're what some might call "Lost," lol!

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Wild.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I had a woman email me demanding how I got her email address and said that after I tell her how "she'll decide" if she wants to talk to me or not...it was publicly available online.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Prospect: How did you get my email???
Me: I literally just googled your name

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

Or "how did you find my company?" Um...ever heard of Google?

youngsmoky

Celebrated Contributor

Senior Account Executive

I had a customer demand(!) to know how I got his cell number. It was listed on LinkedIn. In his bio. We were connected.

captainav

Old School Bravo

Head of Growth, Partner

Hilarious.

A friend of mine saw a post from one of those execs who shame people...friend reached out and said I get it, please don't shame me...friend thought that would be a light-hearted way to build rapport...needless to say the friend too was shamed.

jefe

Arsonist

🍁

This is my favourite objection!

Google, your website, ZoomInfo.....

So many possibilities

DataSlangah

Politicker

SAE

"Sure, we can meet. Please send a jar of vaseline in advance. I have found it makes interactions like ours less painful." I actually laughed and sent a jar of vaseline, and still no meeting.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

That's amazing! Can't believe they didn't give you a meeting after all that...

AverageBDR

Valued Contributor

BDR

"Please review the GDPR rule and stop harassing me like a soap salesman"

At this moment I realized that I am not more prestigious in any way selling SaaS than soap, ouch.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Don't sell yourself short, soap is pretty wild these days

millennial_entrepreneur

Good Citizen

Territory Field Sales

"Don't worry man, our APIs are REST based, not SOAP."

Harshada

Fire Starter

AE (Account Executive)

lol..couldn't stop laughing for at least a min.

imindanger

Director of Sales

Quite polite actually but still belongs here: "No thanks. I don't do pitches right when I connect with folks."

...Should I buy you a drink first? Spend a few months chatting about the weather? Meet the parents?

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Meet the parents seems like a good first step 👍

FringeGuy

Member

Mid-Market Account Executive

"I'm glad to see you're on the 26th floor of your building. That's high enough that you can jump out the window and kill yourself"

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Now that's just mean

SalesGal

Politicker

Account Executive

Wow...I agree with@sebsthis one is downright mean...

Trinity

WR Officer

BusDev

"This has to be the most generic email I've ever received" - when in fact it was a follow-up email and he didn't read the email thread. He's a VP of Product Dev. But oh well, I ended up booking a meeting with the CXO

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Haha nice that'll show him

gdzll

Opinionated

Sales Development Representative

"I don’t what in that text that leads you to believe that we have suddenly overthrown our strategy, but I can assure you that sales people repeatedly reaching out when there are zero sales signals do not really put the company they represent in a better light on my end."

sebs

Politicker

BDR

🥶

gdzll

Opinionated

Sales Development Representative

uhmmm ok MR/MS customer

fuzzy

Notable Contributor

CMO (Chief Meme Officer)

I personally love the quick "No." replies.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Saves you time too so those are win-wins!

12dip12

Fire Starter

Account Executive, SMB

"Hi xxx, the reason why I didn't get back to you was because I didn't want to be rude... But since you sent me another email now...

First of all... I do not recall giving you my email or authorizing this. So, why are you spamming me? Why would you send emails to professional email addresses without authorization for that?

Second.. If you want to advertise your product, there are better (less intrusive) ways of doing it. Conferences, internet ads, articles, workshops, etc... Spamming random people is not a good strategy. Myself, for once... Would never want business with a company that uses this ugly market strategy. You probably already know that all of us, including yourself, already receive hundreds of emails daily for work + spam, and that we waste precious time dealing with these emails. The last thing we need is to waste time reading an email just to find out it's a spam, advertising something. (See, I'm already using time to get back to you now because you would probably send me other emails if I don't).

Third... Not only you decided to spam me, but you also did it through my professional email. How did you do that? You just figured that, "hey, if he works at flipp and most companies adopt first name dot last name @ domain"...

Well, even though I appreciate your interest, please stop spamming my mailbox.

Have a great week and stay safe."

I sent this man two emails -- first one tailored & short as he had used us at his previous company. Second was an auto email bumping it to the top of his inbox. This was a year ago. A new hire on my team reached out and he replied with the same thing word for word. I assume this is his standard reply to all sales related emails. Jerk.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I'd be tempted to reply simply with:

tl;dr

12dip12

Fire Starter

Account Executive, SMB

might reply with that now...a year later

SalesGal

Politicker

Account Executive

For a guy that doesn't have precious time to waste, he sure put a lot of time creating a "I don't have time for this" template...

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Yikes... What was his title?

12dip12

Fire Starter

Account Executive, SMB

Senior SRE smh... In my experience, low level folks are WAY more sassy vs c suite.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

The lower the level the ruder they are...

ajbuttler

Executive

Account Manager

Not an email response but rather taking the time to request a demo submitted as:

Name: DIE YOU FUCKING SPAMMERS
Company: STOP EMAILING ME

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Yikes... don't people know there's an unsubscribe button??

RealEstateVeep

Politicker

VP of Real Estate

"Didn't pay attention in college did you?" Jokes on them, I didn't go to class at all...which is why I'm in sales...

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Ha that'll show em!

RealEstateVeep

Politicker

VP of Real Estate

Lad had nothing to say after that he just laughed so I just proceeded with the pitch. He's been a client of mine for two years now.

Ali.x.mansuri

Success manager

This was way back in 2015.

And this prospect writes "So you finally have internet in your cave''.

My signature read:

Regards,
Ali

sebs

Politicker

BDR

That's just racist and makes me angry. Those are the worst kind of people

SalesGal

Politicker

Account Executive

You got a good chuckle out of me with that first reply ! I don't get many sassy replies to emails. Mostly just get ignored lol.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Unfortunately, all it takes is catching the wrong person when they're having a bad day. Sometimes people just gotta vent and end up using SDRs as their punching bags

SalesGal

Politicker

Account Executive

Yeah for sure ! I get most of my sass from prospects by phone. I’d rather emails though. At least I wouldn’t have to keep a polite voice on lol

SalesPharaoh

Big Shot

Senior Account Executive

Prefer to get the sassy emails than bein ignored...they make cool stories, keep you going.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

True! Plus if you're just getting ignored it might be time to switch up your subject lines or check your email deliverability

salesnerd

WR Officer

Head of Growth

I always hate it when someone picks apart my cold email... especially if they don't work in sales.

Like cool, thanks for telling me I should list relevant clients instead of our biggest logos or I shouldn't link out to external sources on my email... do you want to talk or not?

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Ah yes the self-righteous response. And if they include the phrase "feedback is a gift" in the email you know it's a rough one.

SalesPharaoh

Big Shot

Senior Account Executive

Yea, and be the reason why they don't want to talk. Even pitch you career coaching which is his side hustle

ColdCallPro

Valued Contributor

Account Executive

"If you really work with our company, why don't you know who handles your platform"

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Oof I can feel the sass

SaaSyMcSaaSerson

BDR

My response to sassy emails: “Thank you, I’ll give Clippy your feedback”

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Haha I've been thinking of a good follow-up for them that's pretty good

avocadobegood

Valued Contributor

MM Account Executive

not a cold email reply but any time someone asks "how'd you get my information" i lose it. bro AWS gets hacked like once every three years you think YOUR employer info isn't easily found??

sebs

Politicker

BDR

My favourite is when people freak out and their email is literally [email protected] . It's like bruh I just guessed

SalesSweetheart

Good Citizen

Director of Sales

"Don’t care - get lost loser"

I read it and chuckled, been a hot minute since I was last called a loser.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

Haha it's so funny to think that an actual adult human would write something like that

SalesSweetheart

Good Citizen

Director of Sales

Also have had one reply that they would subscribe me to porn and XXX emails. They provide me so many laughs they dont even know.

sebs

Politicker

BDR

...did they?

SalesSweetheart

Good Citizen

Director of Sales

It was either a bluff or I have a great spam filter

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sebs

What was your sassiest reply on a cold email?

192 comments

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