HanzoHasashi profile picture
HanzoHasashi profile picture

HanzoHasashi

Associate Account Executive

Valued Contributor
Catalyst
Good Citizen
+3

Friends and family that aren't in sales

ohh sales is hard.


oh no salespeople scam and lie and steal and other shit that my expert non sales friends told me about.


no seriously whats some of the dumbest shit you hear from people who aren't in sales.



🐱 Off-Topic
😂 Sales Humor
💩 Shitpost
36

63 comments

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poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
26
☕️
My W2 shuts them up.
TheNegotiator
Arsonist
3
VP of Sales
This is the only way.
funcoupons
WR Officer
17
👑
Everyone assumes I sell houses, cars, or clothes at the mall. Let them. They don't need to know what's going on in my bank account.

My family vaguely understands my job. My dad is cute, he'll randomly text me "make any sales today, kid?" 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
8
🦊
Love your dad ❤
funcoupons
WR Officer
4
👑
Same. He's a real one.
Filth
Politicker
0
Live Filthy or Die Clean
No, @CuriousFox LOVES YOUR DAD.
NotCreativeEnough
Big Shot
1
Professional Day Ruiner
lol my girlfriend does that. I appreciate the effort but also not quite how it works 😂
CaneWolf
Politicker
1
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
My mother does basically the same thing if I call her during the workday “sell anything today?”
hugotheman
Member
1
Account Executive
Nice of him to try to understand
playerone
Politicker
0
Regional Account Executive
My son used to ask me what I sold everyday. When I changed jobs I said we needed to move to a weekly sales update lol. It’s always been great accountability because I always tell him Dad needs to sell to pay for X. Reporting a donut to my 8 year old, to me, is worse than reporting it to my VP.
Boutdamtime
Politicker
13
Client Executive
My mom didn’t want me to go into sales after leaving the military. She told me it’s so unstable and that I might not even be able to feed myself some months. I called her immediately after I got my first six figure commission check. Her response “holy shit”.
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
7
Associate Account Executive
hey ma, uh

It's a big gap between us in the game
In the next life, I'm tryna stay paid
When I die, put my money in the grave


Boutdamtime
Politicker
2
Client Executive
Might put that on my grave stone ngl
RealPatrickBateman
Politicker
4
🔪Amateur Butcher🔪
Thank you for your service 
Boutdamtime
Politicker
1
Client Executive
Thanks for paying your taxes brotherrrr
TheNegotiator
Arsonist
4
VP of Sales
6-fig commission? What the fuck do you sell and how do I start?
Boutdamtime
Politicker
0
Client Executive
I’m in the healthcare technology space selling hardware/software combo in the IoT kind of space. It’s a wacky niche and I think it was kind of a one off year but still.
TheNegotiator
Arsonist
1
VP of Sales
LOL. I’m pretty sure it was you who asked me what I do on another post.  I didn’t want to get doxxed, still don’t.

Ironically, I too am in hardware/software, IoT tech. Also kind of niche, but I think more common based on the industries we serve.  I will refrain from sharing industry/vertical.

My company sucks man… they suck so bad.  My base is uncommonly high for Toronto, but the job kills me. They screw up every delivery, or the 6 figure checks would be totally feasible.  Can’t decide if I stay on a prayer or leave on a certainty- I have a couple of options waiting in the wings.  Bigger companies, more prestige, etc.  

Or my company could be a total rocketship if they get their shit together, and I could be CRO… decisions right?

Anyway, congrats! Now go get that 7 figure check. 6 is rookie shit for you now and the rest of us look up to you.
Boutdamtime
Politicker
1
Client Executive
LOL cool. DM me if that’s a feature of this platform? Lol

Don’t feel too bad…every implementation I’ve sold has been a shit show. I feel the same way.
CaneWolf
Politicker
2
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
I love every part of this post.
techsales
Politicker
10
Enterprise Account Executive
My mother was a sales rep so she gets it, but everyone else thinks I work in retail sales at Forever 21.

I just laugh while I clutch my Dior bag
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
0
Associate Account Executive
oufff
hugotheman
Member
0
Account Executive
same here!
Sharkismyspiritanimal
Good Citizen
0
Sr Account Executive, Enterprise Software
It’s YSL fuh me!
TennisandSales
Politicker
7
Head Of Sales
"oh your in sales? nice so can you like, sell me this pen? or this chair? or this...." 

me: no....

"oh you must not be very good at your job then?"

Me: ......
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
14
☕️
You’re going to need that chair to sit down and that pen to sign this DNR pretty soon if you don’t stop running that mouth. Would you like to buy them?
TennisandSales
Politicker
3
Head Of Sales
😂  fucking sold! 
bandabanda
Tycoon
1
Senior AE Mid Market
Legend
CaneWolf
Politicker
3
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Every once in a while we get legit mad @poweredbycaffeine and it’s a thing of beauty.
hugotheman
Member
1
Account Executive
sold, what's your Venmo? 🤣 
Fenderbaum
Politicker
1
Retired Choirboy🪕
Some people cling to stereotypes and don't educate themselves.
TennisandSales
Politicker
0
Head Of Sales
true. and some sales ppl lean into stereotypes and make it worse for the rest of us 😂
playerone
Politicker
6
Regional Account Executive
They instantly think of car sales, grimey phone sales, furniture sales, real estate agents, etc. Low end low income salespeople. They think of their bad experiences. It’s better the world think sales is hard so we can grind in peace
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
3
Associate Account Executive
The homie said "Hov, there ain't many of us"
I told him less is more, n***a it's plenty of us
- Jay Z
TreTime
Catalyst
6
Account Executive
My whole family are Doctors. They all say they went into the wrong profession when the guy who sits in his basement makes more than them.
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
0
Associate Account Executive
hopefully they got your commission cheque on the fridge 
CaneWolf
Politicker
0
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
My buddy who’s a doctor has asked me for career advice more than once
CuriousFox
WR Officer
6
🦊
Mine don't know exactly what I do, but they are supportive. I surround myself with good people.
Sunbunny31
Politicker
5
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
I’m the only one in my family. My husband does not understand what I do, but that’s ok. He does enjoy the travel and the perks that come with success.
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
1
Associate Account Executive
my s/o thinks I'm unemployed until I take her to the concerts and home games so i understand 😂
SirCloseAlot23
Politicker
3
Business Development
I think car sales and door to door people have given other sales professionals a bad rap.  Sorry, Not Sorry if there are any of them in this group. 
GDO
Politicker
3
BDM
My mom does not see it as a career. She thinks it’s beneath me. I always tell her it is hard and it kicks my but. But I learn a lot. Would not have it any other way.
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
1
Associate Account Executive
i still have my dad telling me to finish my uni degree cause i wont be able to make big money without it. 
GDO
Politicker
0
BDM
Meh don’t. Experience is more important. Take it from a guy with 3 masters degrees
bandabanda
Tycoon
3
Senior AE Mid Market
Them: “so what do you do?”

Me: “I’m in tech sales.”

Them: ”…oh…interesting”

I’ll never get tired of the blank stares and/or bewilderment.
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
0
Sales Rep
They either think you are smart or an idiot when I say tech sales
SADNESSLieutenant
Politicker
2
Officer of ♥️
they all think im a sociopathic psychopath - probably right
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
2
Associate Account Executive
sales people are sociopaths for real. we call strangers and tell them to trust us with something in a 30 second pitch and wholeheartedly believe it's so normal 💀
CaneWolf
Politicker
2
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
I can say for a fact that you’re too invested in various things to be a sociopath.
SalesMofo
Big Shot
2
Head of Sales
"I think my son does exactly what you do".  He sells boat trips on a lake to people who want to get drunk.  I sell 6-figure consulting engagements to c-level execs at billion dollar companies.
NotCreativeEnough
Big Shot
1
Professional Day Ruiner
I've just accepted that none of them understand what I do and half them think I secretly just sell drugs since it seems like I never really work. 
dwightyouignorantsale
Politicker
1
Account Executive
My dad used to sell used semi trucks to small businesses or individuals. he always hated it because the trucks weren’t in great shape so he felt sleazy and the buyers tried to negotiate every possible thing.

so naturally he views my tech sales role the same as that and thinks it’s this big scam. as if i’m selling a shit product to people who don’t actually need it. sales to him is the “used car sales” type and you can’t tell him otherwise 🙃
HanzoHasashi
Valued Contributor
1
Associate Account Executive
man that's insane considering your old man was a sales person himself lmao 😂😂 i guess the judgements still come even if your family was selling before you
dwightyouignorantsale
Politicker
0
Account Executive
he had such a bad experience himself in sales, so he thinks every sales position, regardless of industry, is also terrible.
CaneWolf
Politicker
1
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
My parents openly admit that they only sort of understand what I do. They don’t care though. They’ve said for a long time that they just want me to be happy.
SalesGal
Politicker
1
Account Executive
My husband has heard my pitch so many times, he can give it lol. The rest of my family doesn't understand what I do though.
GDO
Politicker
0
BDM
My GF can pitch as well. She even does when people ask me what I do 😅
Jbeans
Opinionated
0
Director of Sales
My dad was in sales so he gets it, doesn’t get exactly what I sell. But that’s ok. The majority of my friends say things like “Why don’t you take some time off?” “You work a lot” or try to tell me they have stressful days working in Rec centres. It’s ok. It’s all relative… but it’s not the same as having quotas and commissions to make. And when your boss is a Sith Lord. I tend to keep my work talk to a min outside of my sales crew. 
KendallRoy
Politicker
0
AM
Being one of the many, many software sales reps that finished a degree they aren’t really using, for a while my extended family thought I was a massive failure. My uncle told an aunt I’m close with “He’’s doing nothing with his life.”

Fast forward a couple of years and I’m the highest earner on both sides of my family in my 20s, by a very, very wide margin 🤷
TheQueenofDiamonds
Politicker
0
Account Executive
Sales people have horns (or horny, I may not remember it correctly ) 
LegacySales
Politicker
0
Account Executive
"They probably just wanted it more"
If I hear this from another incompetent & over-paid sales culture leader I might just explode a case of coors.
Pachacuti
Politicker
-1
They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy
Just the usual about unlimited expense accounts, etc.
Gasty
Notable Contributor
-1
War Room Community Manager
you're salesman, salesmannn, sales-man!

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