Sunbunny31

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Acclaimed Answer

How to not cold outbound - example

Tuesday is cold outbound day! Here's a fresh one I got, and an example of what not to do. Assuming this is #2 or #3 in a sequence, but I dunno:

Just wanted to circle back and make sure that you’re the right point of contact in regards to a potential collaboration.

We only work with carefully vetted companies that we know we could help, and I believe there’s room for a beneficial partnership.

Let me know if I need to reach out to somebody else within the company.

-name

"Happiness depends upon us." - Aristotle

Yeah, ok. So collaborate? Partner? On what? And why would I send you to somebody else unless I don't like that person? I have no idea what you're offering or the value, and I am not going to go search for your earlier email to figure that out. Sorry, dude.

Anybody got some good fresh ones they received today (or recently, I won't know the difference) that miss the mark?

🔎 Prospecting

💌 Cold Emailing

20

23 comments

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Gasty

Notable Contributor

8

War Room Community Manager

This can be a good series of posts. Now I’m expecting part 2 next week.

Also, this email is a joke

Sunbunny31

Politicker

4

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Compared to the ones you have used as examples....well, actually, there is no comparison. This misses the mark in so many ways.

I actually think this WAS #2, but dude wants me to go look back through my emails to figure out what he's asking me to do? Or maybe remember, because I've got nothing else on my mind? No idea.

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

6

Sales Rep

Loving the Aristotle quote

Sunbunny31

Politicker

4

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Best part of the email.

HVACexpert

Politicker

4

sales engineer

At least yours are nicely worded and professionally

I got one today that said….

“(Manufacturer A) and (manufacturer B) most reliable motors are still available for your fancy fans, ‘HVAC expert’ “

And a picture of some motors…

So there’s that.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

5

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I'm feeling let down that I got no pictures of motors.

HVACexpert

Politicker

4

sales engineer

They weren’t even that cool…

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Formatting like it's 2002?

HVACexpert

Politicker

3

sales engineer

How would you word or do differently @Sunbunny31 ?

Sunbunny31

Politicker

4

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

The usual: info about company, our value prop for the person or company I'm reaching out to, short call to action, close email. Short, sweet, to the point.

2nd email: builds on first - always intro your company though. Nobody remembers. That's the biggest issue I have with this example; I have zero idea what they are offering and why I should consider collaborating or partnering. I don't even have context clues so I cannot even begin to guess.

HVACexpert

Politicker

2

sales engineer

Maybe that’s their goal? Maybe it’s actually a sneaky first email to make you think you missed the first, thinking it’s a second, and now you have to ask for the information 🤯

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

It would be sneaky if it works, but alas, I'm not biting.

I'm a metric in someone's outreach sequence, probably in several databases, for mysterious reasons. I've never been in a position to purchase anything. Cracks me up.

detectivegibbles

Politicker

3

Sales Director

At least make it fun...

"Aye yo contact, collaborate and listen...I've got a shit ass product that surely cause friction...

My cold emails suck ass and I doubt you'll listen..."

God this email blows.

punishedlad

Tycoon

1

Business Development Team Lead

Why'd you have to put my email on blast like this, @Sunbunny31

I just wanted to talk metaphysics...

Sunbunny31

Politicker

0

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Ah, that was YOU? Shame on you.

LOL.

CRAG112

Valued Contributor

1

Account Executive

Got some lame ass recruiter outreach. I deleted the awful sales spam messages though. :(

Sunbunny31

Politicker

0

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Next time, save up your worst and share! Misery loves company. ;)

Maximas

Tycoon

0

Senior Sales Executive

Good one,as in that example the agent did not remind the prospect of who he's or what's the company he's working for or even the reason behind the contact and the nature of business that requires collaboration ,it surely doesn't sound professional enough from the sales rep!

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

Ahh the classic takeaway! “We’ve got it. You don’t. Maybe you could get it. But you gotta prove you deserve it.” This comes as email 1, directly before “ why would my company even want a customer like you?!” Fooo

CuriousFox

WR Officer

0

🦊

3 sentences. What, Why they need it, and a call to action with meeting date. Or something like that.

Justatitle

Big Shot

0

Account Executive

New level of weird reached

maverickmission

Opinionated

0

SDR @ HCM company

"We only work with carefully vetted....."

"Idk if you're the right person to talk to..."

You and I have different definitions of vetting, amigo. Fly a kite.

0

Account Executive

Had to check your work due to your Quality GOAT status. Loved the line though:

We only work with carefully vetted companies that we *think we could help. Reminds me of Lehman Brothers back in the 90's. Sounds corny but it works.

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