Filth

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Valued Contributor

I'm FUMING this morning...

Vent Session: Needy mid market client (I'm an Account Manager) has been begging for a custom report (Logistics software). I've been attaching the scope of work for approval to every email back and forth we've had for the past month (like 24 fucking times). Last night at 10p he has the audacity to say, "I’m guessing I’m waiting for an SOW to be sent to me for review & approval ? Let’s move this forward".

Yeah...I bit my tongue and scream out the window, "OH YEAH MR DECISION MAKER WHY DIDN"T I FUCKING SEND YOU THE THING YOU NEED TO SIGN TO GET ME PAID, IF ONLY I SENT AN ATTACHMENT OR SOMETHING" and breathe and respond like the pro I am with total Zen. I send out the proposal and no more than 2 minutes later THIS MOTHER FUCKER REJECTS IT!!!!! He says it's not the report he asked for. I've confirmed we created one that does exactly what he wants, confirmed it again, and confirmed it again (had done this the past month in those 24 emails).

Currently leaving this mofo on read b/c afraid I'm going to nuke a bridge and churn some butter. It's not even a big $$, it just pisses me off sooooo much.

Thanks for listening poll for catharsis below and hit me with non-felony ideas.

Best way to get back on this fool:

Attached poll

Drop his email all over the internet, make him love that unsub button Prank Pizza order 4 greased pigs in his office numbered 1,2,4,5 Suck it up, SADNESS is for SAVAGES.

*Voting in this poll no longer yields commission.

😎 Sales Skills

😤 Conflict Resolution

22

50 comments

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RandyLahey

Politicker

11

Account Executive

Order 4 thin crust vegetarian pizzas with no cheese...

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

7

Bravado's Resident Asshole

AND they need to be cooked extra and cut into 32nds

Filth

Politicker

3

Live Filthy or Die Clean

LOL i like the specific pettiness here.

RandyLahey

Politicker

2

Account Executive

With a side of no-cheese Garlic cheesy bread...

CuriousFox

WR Officer

6

🦊

Take breakfast of bran muffins and apple juice.

Filth

Politicker

5

Live Filthy or Die Clean

OOO a Colon blast approach, very nice.

SaaSsy

Politicker

5

AE

Did you know you can anon send the Book of Mormon with 2 lovely young Mormons to his address?

Filth

Politicker

4

Live Filthy or Die Clean

I did not, but this is VERY good information to know for things....

SaaSsy

Politicker

1

AE

😂 it’s so immature but cracks me up every time I’ve done it. Another idea, glitter bomb - you can NEVER get all the glitter out…

Filth

Politicker

1

Live Filthy or Die Clean

I like the Mormon thing b/c people show up

oldcloser

Arsonist

5

💀

Ain't it cool we got this little corner of the web to come vent about douche-tier people in our respective spheres? This guy is a solid candidate for scaphism. I'll save you the search:

Noun. scaphism. A form of execution, among the ancient Persians, in which the victim is fastened into a hollow boat, force-fed and slathered in honey and milk and exposed to insects until the victim's death.

Filth

Politicker

2

Live Filthy or Die Clean

YAY history lesson and fitting execution! @oldcloser always brings the fun!

Filth

Politicker

2

Live Filthy or Die Clean

And yes, love the vent aspect of the WR saved me some serious long-term headaches just by getting it out there for the past year or so.

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

5

Sales Rep

..

CadenceCombat

Tycoon

4

Account Executive

Greased pigs for the win.

Filth

Politicker

2

Live Filthy or Die Clean

ALways was my favorite senior prank...i didnt do it, we filled an old washing machine with concrete in front of the main doors

Justatitle

Big Shot

3

Account Executive

sometimes, as much as it sucks you just need to suck it up as much as you want to go nuclear. I've wanted to go nuclear tons of times, people are dumb and it never yields good results

Filth

Politicker

4

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Yup, I am/did texted the wife and made this post. Currently responded to the client, "Understood - standby" and have one of my people going back to the drawing board with one of the clients people (and yes my coworker is JUST as PISSED lol).

Justatitle

Big Shot

2

Account Executive

Live long and prosper

BTQ

Politicker

3

Account Manager

It's always the smallest customers who are the cheapest...

Filth

Politicker

1

Live Filthy or Die Clean

It really fucking is man, it's a shame the the irony of the cheaper the sale the needier the personality.

detectivegibbles

Politicker

3

Sales Director

Firing clients always cheers me up. This one isn’t obviously worth your time.

Filth

Politicker

2

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Ah, I wish and I sure pictured it in my head for a good 30m and it felt good in the dreamland but in reality I'm going to get something sold.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Aggravating! Very curious as to what he thought he should be getting vs what you've been sending.

Filth

Politicker

2

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Yeah the pro in me wanted to call but the short fuse in me knew to just give it a beat. Having one of my engineers handle some technical so I can distance myself for a minute. Yeah end result v what I proposed will be very interesting.

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

It'll be identical.

Filth

Politicker

2

Live Filthy or Die Clean

thats my bet

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

.

coletrain

Politicker

3

Account Executive

Talk about frustration, oy.

What I would do, is set up a screenshare call with him in the vein of "moving it forward" Get him to say in his own words what is right/wrong even though you have confirmed everything is there.

If there actually is something overlooked (which I doubt), keep the call going as you fix and save that SOW, send it to him, then have him accept all while on the call.

No more excuses for Mr. Prospect

Filth

Politicker

1

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Yup, this was my thought but childishly I didn't want to give him time today lol.

SoccerandSales

Big Shot

3

Account Executive

GREASE THOSE PIGS YEEHAW

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I, too, voted for pigs.
SQUEEEEEEE

CuriousFox

WR Officer

2

🦊

🪕🪕🪕

CPTAmerica

Opinionated

3

President/CRO

Embrace the suck

Filth

Politicker

2

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Ha! that poster is on my cubicle wall and man oh man is it accurate and necessary.

Revenue_Rambo

Politicker

3

Director, Revenue Enablement

I once signed up someone up for the International Male Undergear catalog. Had it sent to their office in their name. Nothing like having the front desk deliver book full of mesh shirts and banana hammocks to your victim.

Filth

Politicker

3

Live Filthy or Die Clean

THIS is the answer!!

nolaydowns

Good Citizen

3

SAE

There’s an anon service where u can send a poop in a box, and it doesn’t stink till it’s open!

Filth

Politicker

1

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Are you a salesperson for this service b/c I'm interested lol this sounds ridiculous and I'm so proud to be alive in a time this is possible to do.

nolaydowns

Good Citizen

0

SAE

https://www.shitexpress.com

sketchysales

Politicker

3

Sales Manager

The irony of this all, and i dont know whether it is intentional or not but a Sow is a female pig.
so there you go

Filth

Politicker

1

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Way to bring it full circle lol

Diablo

Politicker

2

Sr. AE

grease them up, some are troublemakers

Maximas

Tycoon

2

Senior Sales Executive

Definitely:)

Filth

Politicker

1

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Praise Pizza!

TheDude

Politicker

2

Partnerships Lead

Fly out there or get on the phone

Filth

Politicker

3

Live Filthy or Die Clean

I'll be on the phone with them soon enough...damn you and the right thing to do.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Pfffff. Professionalism.

MeowMeow

Politicker

2

Senior Enterprise Account Executive

They clearly need Jesus…

https://hub.jw.org/request-visit/en/request

pirate

Big Shot

0

🦜☠️ Account Executive

I mean what else could be prank ordered? Sex toys hehe?
I guess it is taking a lot of effort from you (24 emails?) I would just lay low for a few months and get back on it

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