oldcloser

💀

When the VP of Sales is an asswipe.

interviewed Friday. Role in my wheelhouse. Startup in my happy vertical with great tech. I sourced it, applied for it, called it. Got to new VP Sales through the CEO and internal referral. Textbook.

Dude was 2 weeks in. Didn't really have have his story together yet. No big deal. Booked face to face. Only thing that stood out was that he drives a Corvette. Weird he'd mention that. I forget about it.

Then we meet. He brings it up again. First 5 minutes. So, I'm judging now. He's bald, maybe 5'5" - shit I wouldn't otherwise notice - and he'sspeaking in platitudes. "I'm not gonna discount." "This won't be a typical company." "I work really hard." "Email outbound is dead! Send it to my mailbox if you want my attention. I open those!"

I basically hate this guy immediately, but played along. Stayed professional. No way I'm not getting an offer, I'm thinking. Now that little putz is ghosting me.

Conclusion: he read it. Knows I didn't buy his bullshit. Therefore didn't want mine.

/rant

😄 Job Hiring

32

51 comment

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Filth

Politicker

14

Live Filthy or Die Clean

The platitude dudes suck the most. I had a new VP come in my previous copier salesman life. He started spewing his nothing while saying bullshit like "internet of things" and moving his hands like there were puppets involved. After a quick conversation where he asked me my thoughts on what he had to say, I responded with: "If you said anything of note, I didn't catch it." This was in a room of all the salespeople and he did a nervous laugh and collar grab like he was Rodney Dangerfield asking someone to take his wife. After that instance he steered very clear of me and I know for a fact my quota hitting history was the only reason I didn't get canned shortly after. I know this b/c my manager laughed in his face when he thought I wasn't a good fit for the company. In the end, the jokes on me b/c he was the one getting a $250k base in the Midwest at a copier sales company and I was the idiot making sure my words meant something and worked for a living. What an idiot I am.

Long way of saying @oldcloserfuck the guys full of hot air they can stick to their Linkedin selfie looking walk and rants about the same shit people have been saying for years. Best of luck but don't work for or with this fucknut if you can help it.

oldcloser

Arsonist

8

💀

This! Right fucking here!
😂😂😂Internet of things while manipulating the air web things! Lol’d. Shit- needed that.

Filth

Politicker

6

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Hell yeah brother nothing like a good war room vent to people who actually get it.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

4

🦊

I read this in hulk hogan voice

oldcloser

Arsonist

3

💀

:) audio file or it didn't happen. It needs to have happened.

Fenderbaum

Politicker

3

Retired Choirboy🪕

.

CadenceCombat

Tycoon

9

Account Executive

I feel you on this but, in my experience, a VP of Sales that isn’t a douchebag in some form is a rarity. Seen all kinds but the majority had some douche vibes.

HVACexpert

Politicker

4

sales engineer

I have never met a good VP who was a douche, the ones who are got there by accident.

Pachacuti

Politicker

8

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

This is a good/safe place to rant.

I think I met this guy a few times over the past 10 years ;)

oldcloser

Arsonist

4

💀

Cool car, bro. 🙄🔫

Pachacuti

Politicker

3

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

for a bout 5mins till you realize you aren't an Indy driver and it does nothing to up your t-levels

oldcloser

Arsonist

3

💀

Why I war room ☝️

HVACexpert

Politicker

3

sales engineer

But does it make your dick bigger?

Sunbunny31

Politicker

2

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Narrator: no.

oldcloser

Arsonist

3

💀

😂😂😂 Narrator

SteveD

Member

3

Sales Director

From the
Knight Rider

corporation.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

2

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I loved KITT!

Have a photo from when I was but a young bunny and Universal was brand new…and there was KITT. I wanted a Trans Am soooo badly.

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

Oh hell yes

SteveD

Member

2

Sales Director

Key point is will he sign off on customer visits in the Champagne room?

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

Hadn't thought of this. Dealbreaker for sure.

SteveD

Member

2

Sales Director

ABC "always be checking" if that expense is paid

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Can’t say I’ve actually been there. Can’t say it publicly anyway.

coletrain

Politicker

6

Account Executive

So basically a 90s salesman who may have done well in the 90s but can’t keep up with the times and thinks the times haven’t changed.

Probably would be the same 2 years in, glad you saw through the BS.

punishedlad

Tycoon

5

Business Development Team Lead

I know it's rough out there in the job market, but it's probably a good thing you're not going to end up working under this guy if you already can't stand him.

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Couldn’t possibly end well. Next!

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

5

☕️

You dodged a (short gauge) bullet.

oldcloser

Arsonist

4

💀

Hollow head short gauge.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

You are both killing it.

CPTAmerica

Opinionated

4

President/CRO

Was it even a Z06??

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

He didn’t say so. So I’m thinking not. 🙄

HVACexpert

Politicker

2

sales engineer

Probably bought it used, probably an automatic too

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

no doubt an automatic!

Sunbunny31

Politicker

4

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Those guys are the worst.

They also have zero idea how to talk to women in business, so I always make them uncomfortable. It's fun to just stare at them politely while they ramble on and ultimately run out of things to say.

HVACexpert

Politicker

2

sales engineer

He’d probably open up with the corvette line and if that didn’t work he wouldn’t know what to do

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

totally. Much dead air with this one.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Yup, I just keep quiet and wait for them to grind to a halt. It works on noxious male colleagues at sales kickoff too.

detectivegibbles

Politicker

2

Sales Director

Maximas

Tycoon

1

Senior Sales Executive

Nice to know that you managed to stay professional till the interview was over,good to hear also that you didn't take the offer.
Besides I understand that the show he made was worthless including his platitudes,but still many unprofessional VCs out there,apparently you weren't just lucky enough this time.
Hopefully next time it'll be better and glad that you've fleed the trap!

Justatitle

Big Shot

1

Account Executive

Thank your stars that you didn't get the offer, imagine if you got the offer and took the job, you'd be a few weeks in and hate everything about the asswipe

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Totally. Nowhere to go with it. Little fucker just got in my craw

FoodForSales

Politicker

1

AE

My immediate though was "when isn't the VP of Sales an Asswipe?"

WheelofCheese

Opinionated

1

Sales Executive

5’5” man proud of his poor man’s race car. Priceless! You dodged a bullet my friend.

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

✊ appreciate the sentiment. Yep

quotascammedeverytime

Opinionated

1

account executive

Corvette 🚩

CRAG112

Valued Contributor

1

Account Executive

Keep on keeping on???

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

right. another day at the office

Scaleemup

Good Citizen

1

VP Sales

Why brag with a piece of shit car like a corvette 😂

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

I mean... totally. It just fit the persona so well... No clue how they get jobs.

Armageddon

Opinionated

1

Enterprise Account Executive

sounds like a clown, theres better leaders out there

pwnzor

Opinionated

1

Head of Sales

This should serve as an inspiration if you ever want to be a VP of Sales. If he can do it...

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

☝️☝️☝️

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