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Attractive Coworker Linkedin Request- Continued (Pt.2)

Hey all,


Thanks for all of your advice on my last post, it paid huge dividends.


So initially you all made me feel like a blubbering idiot with no ties to reality, as she had Linkedin requested a large amount of my company over the course of the next several days (made me feel blue, to say the least). While the evidence was quickly piling up against me, I maintained that there was an undeniable spark.


Per the best evidence, if you offered any- thanks for nothing @funcoupons, I engaged with her professionally via Linkedin and exchanged nothing more than pleasantries in the office. Then in a moment of pure bliss, she asked me on a date!


Post work Wednesday night, we crossed the street to our local watering hole. I was filled with nerves as I haven't been on a date in many moons.


Now here is where I need your input, it seems as though she was more interested in networking, picking my brain for prospecting techniques and messaging sentiments. We did hug at the conclusion and no, I did not reach for it... Was this a date? She did say that we should do it again, that must be a good thing, right?


🎈 Mentorship
🤝 Networking
39
CoorsKing
WR Officer
+11
King of the Coors Knights
I still can’t tell if you are making these up but…No. That sounds entirely like a new colleague networking. If she’s that new, she’s probably trying to make friends and like you said, learn best practices. She talked mainly about work. Unless she asks you to meet up on a weekend, I would treat this as entirely professional. I would be VERY cautious to avoid a sexual harassment case with HR here.

You are also a manager based on your title here, if she is below you in the org chart that’s an instant no go even if a consensual relationship develops (which again, does not sound like it is). Companies are very strict about locking down conflicts of interest. Typically they have the individual who abused power (you) be the one to leave.
sneakysnek
Politicker
+8
SDR
Piggybacking @BigMeech as someone who just finished an HR rodeo because a manager couldn't separate work from personal life.

His forward advance made it clear that he had no respect for me as a colleague. My top choice for moving within the company would have been a role on his team, so I reported it, and he was justly fired within a week.

Don't be that guy. A new girl asking for advice doesn't make you an irresistible sex god. Maybe try Bumble?
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
One) Don’t shit where you eat. 

Two) If you have to ask if it was a date, it probably wasn’t a date. 

Three) Don’t shit where you eat.

Four) Don't call out @funcoupons when she was right in what the fuck she said.

EDIT: Holy fuck I just realized you're a team lead/manager. That makes this infinitely worse man.
mi
missyd
Good Citizen
Account Executive
Oh wow I didn't realize he was a team lead either!! This is just too funny. 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Creepy, more like creepy lol
RealEstateVeep
Politicker
+6
VP of Real Estate
Oh I didn't realize his position either lmao. 

Willing to bet this guy didn't fuck until college. Good Lord he's lost when it comes to women.
jefe
Politicker
+8
Sales Director
@RealEstateVeep nailed it. 


(but he didn't)
mi
missyd
Good Citizen
Account Executive
I can't tell if he's serious about this post or not... but this bluntness is great and glad you posted this.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Sometimes bluntness is what's needed.
Show 1 more replies
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Zing n a half!
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
I have so much to say but I'm trying to get right with the Lord....ah fuck it.

You should be grateful I graced your first thread with my presence in the first place. This trolling isn't entertaining though so please find a new subject and move on. 

If by chance this is real...know that if you continue to creep on this poor girl you're just giving her "weird dude of the month" fodder to discuss with her girl friends at the next happy hour.
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Congrats on your new walk with the lord! It's personally not my cup of tea but different strokes for different folks, right?
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
I said this on your last post, and I'll say it again.

***JUST BECAUSE A LADY IS KIND DOESN'T MEAN SHE IS FLIRTING***

She obviously wanted to network with you. This was not a date. Knock it off.
RealEstateVeep
Politicker
+6
VP of Real Estate
CuriousFox you're clearly missing the facts. She smiled at him.

Seriously if I had a daughter I would be deathly afraid knowing there are jerk offs like this in the world.
Wolfof7thStreet
Opinionated
+5
AE
Scares tf out of me too and makes me not want to have kids 
mollybloomstanaccount
Opinionated
+1
Account Executive
100000% certifiably not a date. she just wants a friend at work/ the inside scoop about the company 
Phillip_J_Fry
Good Citizen
+2
Director of Sales
Bruh....start buying donuts for your HR person, because it sounds like you're about to start spending a lot of time together.
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
🤣 hilarious
Balloons4baboons
Opinionated
+2
Account Executive
I had to stop myself from laughing out loud while on this team meeting.


cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Amazing. Just amazing. 
braintank
Politicker
+6
Enterprise Account Executive
Dude, stop. I can't tell if you're trying to be funny or are really that dense. You're well on your way to a potential harassment case. She is a new colleague who wanted to know more about the company. That's it! If it were a male would you think they were hitting on you?
Pl
PlanetMatt
Opinionated
+1
SDR
brotha, it isn't that deep. Take a deep breath.
braintank
Politicker
+6
Enterprise Account Executive
Jokes about sexual harassment are HILARIOUS 😂😂😂
Show 3 more replies
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Oh, as I am socially awkward I can't tell when anyone is hitting on me regardless of gender. That's why I like to turn to this community for some much-needed advice. 
chubbspeterson
Politicker
+6
Business Development
You need advice with the fairer sex, go straight to the source... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e3OGJB73Z4

Follow everything this guy does religiously, especially his outfits and goggles/everything about his psychical appearance. 
Show 7 more replies
FamilyTruckster
Acclaimed Answer
+7
Exec Director, Major Accounts
Feels like I’m reading fan fiction written by Tina Belcher. Whole pile of awkward. Stay away. If it’s nothing other than her being eager to learn, you’re going to be labeled a creep. If there is something, give it time. Then give it more time. Then give it even more time. Then don’t do it.
Balloons4baboons
Opinionated
+2
Account Executive
All that's missing is zombie butts and awkward running.
avocadobegood
Acclaimed Answer
+7
MM Account Executive
she doesn't want to bang you man. get a hinge profile for fucks sake.
Beans
Politicker
+5
Account Executive
Jesus Christ.

The neckbeard is so strong here. 
Re
RedLightning
Politicker
+7
Mid-Market AE
I'm 90% positive you're trolling at this point. You got a drink at a bar across the street from your office with a co-worker. She's trying to get to know her co-workers
youKNOW
Politicker
+7
Sales Manager
DUDE...what f*cking planet are you on? Do you act like this with customers too? Holy SH*T THEY WANT TO BUY SOMETHING...oh wait...they just asked for my card. 
mitts2
Politicker
+8
Account Executive
Do yourself a favor and don’t post a part 3. You’re gonna get stuffed in a locker. Grow up and move on
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
+7
SDR
Well you forgot a big rule in sales! What were your next steps? Did you throw something on the calendar for a future bonding experience?
SandwichMan
Catalyst
+7
BDR Team Lead
Took the words right out of my mouth...also, not reaching for it is a pillow soft close.
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Rookie mistake I missed my opportunity for a close.
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+7
AE of B2B
I'm wondering what here exact question was to go "on a date". How did she phrase that?
Also, if you keep updating us this is how the entire Bravado community can be here for every stage of the relationship. 

I'm super looking forward to the first "omg when do I propose?" post, most likely occuring when you both have to go on a sales call together, staying overnight somewhere else.
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
"If you are down, I would love to get a drink with you tomorrow night?".... Verbatim. 
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+7
AE of B2B
That's... not asking for a date. 

I mean correct me if I'm wrong because I'm married and out of the dating game, but if a single woman coworker said that to me (if I was single), I would have clarified right then and there. 

Don't leave things ambiguous.

Show 2 more replies
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
I love how the tags in this post are “mentorship” and “networking”.

How about read your own post and realize that’s all this ever was with this girl… She’s seeking to network and get mentorship. Case closed, ya weirdo.
Wanna.Be.Rick.Spielman
Opinionated
+3
Account Executive
Lol great point
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
Super confused about the “date” comment. Did she say the word “date “? Or did she say “let’s grab a drink/food”?  

This is why I never, ever not say something. If you really want to know, you need to ask. Immediately. Or drop the notion entirely. It does no one any favors by holding onto a “maybe”. 

From what you’re describing, it sounds like she wants a work friend. Not a boyfriend. If you really can’t tell, imagine how angry she’d be if you went to cop a feel, you hadn’t asked, and it was unwelcome. Personally, I’d knock your ass out and then feed your testicles to the sewer rats. 

But I have zero tolerance for sexual harassment so 🤷‍♀️

Don’t put yourself in a position where this is the case.
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Oh no, I would never "cop a feel", I am very respectful of women... That's why I am looking for some guidance in regards to this situation.

What about my posts are making you feel as though I am aggressive to women?
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
What in my posts makes you feel as though I’m accusing you of being aggressive?

If (by your own words) you would never “cop a feel”, how will you ever resolve the situation if you don’t ask? There are two ways to know for sure - physical actions and talking. You’re only torturing yourself at this point. Much easier to know either way. 

Consent is a big deal. If someone doesn’t have my consent, I’ll crush them. That’s me being aggressive, and I give zero fucks about it. 
Show 1 more replies
GrindingSales
Opinionated
+5
Account Executive
Even if she was interested in you, you are sacrificing your own career and standing by entertaining it.  If you are true in your intentions and not being a grimey male, put your two weeks in, find a new job and then ask her out on an official date.  Otherwise, you are playing with fire.
Kiona
Opinionated
+2
Head of Business Development
THIS IS NOT A DATE! 

This is a co-worker building credibility and trying to learn from you. 

YOU NEED TO GET A DATE, away from the office. 
happyhunter
Valued Contributor
+5
spittin' sunshine
As a female working in an office with 80% males for almost two years, I have never hugged any of them nor would I ever want to. No hugs after happy hours or extensive boozy dinners...EVER. So the fact you guys hugged gives me a slight inclination that she's interested. 

But then I think to myself....95% OF FEMALES WOULD NOT ASK A GUY ON A DATE! And would definitely not ask a colleague out during the first few weeks at a new job (or ever, for that matter). Hell, we rarely ask hot guys out at bars as typically guys make the first move. Get a clue bro! She's not into you; she wants to make new work friends and not feel so alone entering a new company. 

I'm surprised you're so scared and confused yet you work in sales. You should already know how to spit game and attract what you want, but you're looking in the wrong places amigo. Go back to that watering hole and try hitting on the bartender...that usually works ;P
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
How did you know she "LinkedIn" a large amount of the company? Were you creeping on her LinkedIn or was this just office chatter lol
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Office chatter, my friend. I was told not to be creepy in a previous post and everyone provided me with a pretty clear outline of actions that qualify as creepy.
Phatkhed
Valued Contributor
+4
Business Development Advisor
I had a similar situation, needless to say... she never talked to me again 
Whosaidit
Politicker
+6
Business Development Representative
If you only reached for your wallet at the end I would say the prospect is disqualified.
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
+9
Account Manager
Congratulations on completely overthinking this (I mean that in the most sincere and genuinely polite way).  Dude, have you thought about maybe just ASKING her if she is into you?  Ask the question bro, close the sale or lose it.  
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Everyone had told me that, that was an inappropriate move to make.... Can I strike that from my don't do list?
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
+9
Account Manager
I think you can find a way OUTSIDE OF WORK to ease into this question but yes, ultimately if you're feeling a "vibe" I don't see anything wrong with asking if she feels a vibe too.  Just don't count on things not being weird if she says no, almost unavoidable, this is why dating coworkers is compared to shitting where you eat.  
Show 1 more replies
RealEstateVeep
Politicker
+6
VP of Real Estate
Ooof buddy. That wasn't a date lmao.
johnnydials
Opinionated
+3
SDR
Hey all, Is it me or does Macdaddy sound like the kind of guy with hair down past his shoulders? I cant be the only one getting this vibe.
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
I’m getting a sweaty comb-over vibe.
Wanna.Be.Rick.Spielman
Opinionated
+3
Account Executive
If this is not trolling (still unclear) you are listed as a Team Lead which makes this super inappropriate. She clearly was looking for advice and getting to know her colleagues like any new hire would.... Leave her alone and if she wants to go on a real date, she can ask you out over the weekend, but I almost promise that is not going to happen. 
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
My company outsources sales teams to tech companies, she is not a part of my team and would never be a part of my team in the future if sparks were to fly. I'm awkward but I do in fact no where the line of appropriateness lies within my company. 
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
That’s still not much of a saving grace, bud.

I don’t think you have any idea where the line lies regarding what’s appropriate.

For added context, I’m curious, how old are you @Macdaddy ?
Show 5 more replies
SiliconBBQ
Politicker
+3
The Metal Rooster
don't fish off the company pier
DatSaaS
Fire Starter
+2
Sales Executive
100% would not take that as a date. But keep going out with her and just hope the chemistry can unfold into something like that. 
CPfor3
Opinionated
+3
Business Development Representative
Ya never know, maybe she was nervous too and only brought up networking to break the ice. Ask her to grab a drink on the weekend. Never lose hope Macdaddy, she just might be the one! Shooters shoot! Believe in yourself! Never stop closing!
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Thanks! I continue to monitor the situation through an optimistic lens while adhering to my don't be a creep guidelines. 
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
You’re clueless, dude. Lose the optimism about her being romantically interested.

The fact that you’re even entertaining this as a team lead pretty much makes you a creep regardless (especially if she’s a subordinate).

Also, your username really isn’t helping your case.
Lu
Lucy710
Politicker
+3
Account Manager, Corporate & Strategic Accounts
100% not a date. If she works in sales, she will know to make it clear that it’s a date. Additionally, no female wants to go on a date with a coworker to a bar across the street from a new job - where all their other coworkers can see.
18
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+29
Mjollnir ,   AugND ,   cw95   and 29 people voted
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30
Attractive new co-worker Linkedin request.
Question
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