SgtAE

AE

OG Sales Savage

My hyper competitiveness just ruined our new years 😔

Hi team, just needed a space to talk so here I am.

I finally made top rep in my organisation for the month, tracking to hit it more into the coming new year. Been here 2 years.

This has turned me into a hypercompetitve person who assess everything as a competition.

Finally taking some time off in the snow to relax and unwind.

We went to the ski slopes with my gf and her friends today, everyone got skis and I got a snowboard as I wanted to try, we were all beginners (I've never been on a mountain) and one other first timer. Everyone else got the hang of it quickly and I really struggled, spent 3 hours falling over and failing the ski lift pull thing while everyone else was skiing and having fun.

I did what I always did when I'm struggling and just dug in and pushed, I struggled so much for 3 hours and was tired, battered and exhausted but stayed until the end and was just frustrated and challenged. I had to walk down the mountain at the end with the medic helping me as everyone else went ahead so I got left behind. I treated it like a challenge and competition to show competence like I always do.

I ended up fighting my gf in front of everyone as I felt like she abandoned me on the mountain and she said that I treated it like a competition instead of just having fun.

Its tough to switch off honestly and I'm sad that the same energy that got me top rep also ruined my new years activities.

💆‍♂ Mindset

15

16 comments

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Sunbunny31

Politicker

5

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Bummer.

Unsolicited advice: when trying something new, always spring for the lesson and don't just jump in. Otherwise, it's far too easy to get frustrated and upset and then end up biting someone's head off when you don't mean to.

And of course, lessons can ultimately help you with a good foundation for being competitive...in the long run.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

5

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

And - if you don't know this, you should - your gf is not responsible for your good time, so unless she left you to die on that mountainside, you were asking her to sacrifice her fun because you weren't having fun. That's unfair.

(been on the receiving end of this a few times and have put my foot down about it)

CuriousFox

WR Officer

2

🦊

Very unfair

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I’ve gotten too old for this. :)

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

3

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Man, I feel for you. I have had things like this happen to me over the years as well. We just need to tune our personal radio to make sure we have the right station on given the audience and situation we are in.

It will get better. If one little fight ruins everything, then that is just silly. Apologize and make up. Your New Years will be so much better for it.

SgtAE

WR Officer

1

AE

Thanks for the condolences, yeah 30 mins before we left today my boss pinged me with "back on deck Monday?" So barely got to focus on enjoying the victory, its hard to switch off.

Pachacuti

Politicker

3

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

Your GF wasn’t wrong. This is 100% on you. Man up and apologize fast. Own it.

Competition is a good thing but not in a relationship (unless she’s also on your sales team!). So take this as a learning experience and move forward.

Lambda

Tycoon

2

Sales Consultant

Totally get that man!
You've admitted the mistake the internet
Now do the hard work of making it right with action in person
You know the right thing to do
Appologize to your GF
Talk to your friendswho you feel you've slighted and apologize for your behavior
most importantly, learn from this and don't make the same mistake twice
keep working my we are here to support!

EspressoMaxi

Valued Contributor

1

Director of BD

You acknowledged it internally. Make sure you acknowledge it and show your fun side.

Jaed

Executive

1

Inside Sales Rep

First, apologize to your gf and tell her this. I’ve been here before; not knowing when to turn work off and on.

Incorporate some breathing exercises at work during lunch and breaks to get in touch with the human side. I think extending awareness is the first step for you to separating personal and business life.

activity

Politicker

1

VP, Business Development

I learned this early in my career. If I didn’t learn how to turn off or dim my competitiveness, relationships seemed to evaporate.

PhlipOut

Politicker

1

Account Executive

btw on day 1 apparently skiing is easier to start with than snowboarding.
so.. bad arena to get competitive in.

you do sound a little bit of a nightmare.
learn to let go and keep things in perspective

being a top rep means very little if you burn everything around you.

It's just a job: a means to an end

fuzzy

Notable Contributor

0

CMO (Chief Meme Officer)

really learn to leave your job at your job. I know it's hard but people who don't learn to relax and stop caring about work (and the mindset that work takes) end up having heart attacks and dying by 50.

ThatNewAE

Big Shot

0

Account Executive - Mid enterprise

I have had fights with my partner as well, just because I used to (or still do) take everything as competitions. I feel this! I relate to this on so many levels. Though I am not as hypercompetitive as I was, it still trickles down sometimes.

We used to play card games and word games. I was initially failing when I started dating him. I literally went back, downloaded apps that were similar and learnt how to beat him in this game !

It wasn't fun anymore, because it was more of a competition for me.

You can never switch that hyper competitiveness. How you do one thing, is how you do everything else. As tough as it sounds, I would suggest you start taking hits as hits at work, not your failure. That could be step 1.

MyAnonymousName

Opinionated

0

Sales Leader

I mean it sucks, and I hope you apologized to the GF, but step 1 is recognizing you are in the wrong.

1) I think it is good to have things in your life you are not good at. Keeps you humble and increases empathy for when you run across people who may be new at something you are good at

2) Start to recognize if/when this behavior manifests itself at work. Competitiveness is great in this profession, but being an asshole will catch up to you.

Kosta_Konfucius

Politicker

0

Sales Rep

Number 1 thing I see is the need to apologize to your gf. Seems like you understand that your competitive got the best of you and it affected the day. Now don't let the competitiveness do anymore harm by thinking you need to win the argument

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