Official thread

St. Patty’s Spiff happening NOW 🍀 SUBMISSIONS NOW CLOSED

Today. Today is the day. The day to celebrate with whiskey AND Guinness, corned beef and cabbage, your ugly green t-shirt, and Gaelic football...

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY 🍀

If you're feeling like you have the luck 'o the Irish, come give our War Room Spiff a shot...

Today's prompt: What's your luckiest last-minute deal story?

We're announcing the Bravado Choice and People’s Choice winners in this thread on MONDAY. We’re also adding an accelerator for anyone who has participated in more than one spiff!

Let 'em rip 👇

____________________________

🍀 🌈 UPDATE: SPIFF WINNERS 🏆🍀

Ok @RealPatrickBateman that was sick...going from no closed deals to absolutely demolishing quota with one contract on the last day of the month? Legend. And with the most upvotes on the thread, it's clear that the War Room agrees. Congrats on winning the People's Choice Award 👏

Picking the Bravado's Choice Award was a tough decision for us, but ultimately @Pachacuti 's riveting thriller got us. Well played, @Pachacuti. Well played. Congrats on winning the BCA.

An honorable mention goes out to @ppg – way to open doors for yourself. Bad pun VERY much intended.

And congrats to all the absolute savages who participated in both War Room Spiffs. They're not only getting Commission for participating in both, but they've also proven that they're better than you 🤷‍♂️ (That's your cue to not make the same mistake next time)

Congrats to all you winners. Stay savage, my friends.

peace,

Corp

🏰 War Stories

🏅 Competition

27

30 comments

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RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

19

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, I was once a copier salesman 🤦🏻‍♂️…. I was young, full of life, and still had a soul at this point in my career.

The very LAST day in my first month (of which I had closed no actual business to date) I receive a call from a prospect that wants me to come to his shop and “look at something”… assuming my first month was shot, I drive on over.

Prospect tells me about his setup and all the problems he’s having with his machines (he’s a commercial printer). I call one of my Techs in the area to come check out the machines (which are not under contract with us). Tech tells him all the problems and how to fix them or call his current service company. The prospect looks at this laundry list of problems and says “sounds like I need all new gear (with a shit-eating grin on his face) and then says “draw up a contract, I’ll sign today”. I was STUNNED 😦, “really??” To which he said “if you’ll go this far to help me when I haven’t paid you a dime, I know I’m in good hands”.

I proceed to write out a contract for $428,658.87 (yes I remember the EXACT amount 😆), get it signed and then drive back to the office like a Formula1 driver. My manager approves the deal, says very non-chalantly “good work”.

After we call out our number for the quarter on a video call with corporate HQ, I crush EVERYONE that quarter (quota was $75k) and then my manager took me to Morton’s where we eat like kings and drink the place dry. Life was good that day….

Bateman, Out.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

4

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

That is a great story.

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

6

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

It was a great day for a hungry young copier rep 😏

Filth

Politicker

4

Live Filthy or Die Clean

I too lived that copier lifestyle as a young savage and it was fun for a while and allowed me to quickly pay off the student loans I just knew I didn't have talking about copiers in my 5 year plan. I have a few similar stories to yours, basically just from walking in to places that looked out of business and ended up being on the spot sales and quota busters pulled out of thin air. Good trip down memory lane sir.

fuzzy

Notable Contributor

0

CMO (Chief Meme Officer)

What was the fallout? How did the team respond?

funcoupons

WR Officer

16

👑

It’s evening on the east coast, u expect ppl to be sober enough to type a story? What do we look like to u? Cowards???

GeneralCorp

Notable Contributor

17

General of The War Room

Honestly was hoping you **wouldn't** be sober and still send in your story. But if you're too cowardly to try and type rn...that's your prerogative

funcoupons

WR Officer

8

👑

I love it when u spank me like this Corp. Stay tuned.

fuzzy

Notable Contributor

11

CMO (Chief Meme Officer)

About 3 days before I was set to leave for my honeymoon, I sent out a cold email blast explaining how I needed 1 more deal to close in order to truly give my wife the honeymoon she deserved. I ended up with 2 closes and 3 meetings that ended up with another close when I got back. I guess people appreciate a good love story.

paddy

WR Officer

8

Director of Business Development

Here is the true story of how I broke Marvin Fredrickson’s cat food sales record and got a free bagel all in one day:

There I sat, perched patiently in my leather chair like the sniper atop the grassy knoll.

*click*

Email.

*click*

Email.

*BOOM*

Cold call.

Every breath was carried out with purpose and intent.

I was on fire, and the whole office knew it.

It all started earlier that morning at my favorite bistro.

I had only asked for a baker’s dozen but received a 14th bagel for free. Blueberry; just what the doctor ordered.

It was one of those days where nothing could go wrong. I smashed my quarterly quota after closing two blockbuster deals on the commute to work. We were only 3 weeks in.

BANG.

Another close.

FWAP.

Another appointment booked.

SKIDOOSH.

Fastest demo yet.

NOBODY could stop me. The team was going bananas.

Anthony and Muhammed hoisted their chairs into the air heroically.

Vlad jumped onto his desk and strummed a vigorous air guitar.

Rand flipped the water cooler and pretended to do a kegstand.

The office had reached a boiling point.

But just as quickly as it all started…

“Well Paddy, I appreciate you calling but we really don’t have room for anymore cat food. Why don’t we pick this conversation back up in 2 weeks time?”

The office fell silent.

Eyes pandered around the room frantically.

I scratched my head.

“No more room for…”

For the first time all day, I was absolutely speechless.

Think Paddy, think!

Now I’m going to stop you for just a second here. If you don’t know me that well, I should explain that I’ve never been a big believer of “near death experiences” or “divine intervention”, but looking back on this moment I now understand all the hype.

My whole life flashed before my eyes.

I saw it all clearly now.

“No room for cat food you say?” I laughed.

“Well yes Paddy, but I would be glad to-“

“What about the roof?” I interrupted.

“What about the- haha, what about the roof, Paddy?”

This was the moment I had always dreamed about. My time in the spotlight.

“Dry formula is supposed to be kept at a temperature of 73°F, what’s the weather like in Fort Wayne right now?” I demanded.

“Uhhh, well let me check my Apple Watch...”

I leaned over my desk, trying not to breathe too heavily into the phone.

“Looks like it’s 75° and sunny Paddy.”

Jackpot.

The interrogation continued.

“Do you own a cabana? Or maybe a sun tent..?”

“A what?”

They were getting defensive.

“Paddy, what do I look like, a Bed Bath and Beyond! No cabanas here amigo.”

Rats. I had to close this deal, I just had to. People were counting on me.

I had to ask myself, how far was I willing to go?

Then the words left my mouth before I could even think about them.

“You can take mine.”

The room gasped.

The line fell silent for a moment, barring a little static.

I repeated myself.

“You can take mine, Winnifred. Mi cabana es su cabana”.

It was quiet, but I could hear her thinking on the other end.

“Paddy. Are you sure about this?” she finally responded.

“I have never been more sure about anything in my life.”

That was it.

Just like that, the deal was closed.

I had broken the age old record held by Marvin Frederickson himself.

But the phones were hot. The night was young.

I took off my gloves and started dialing.

-paddy

goose

Politicker

1

Sales Executive

If only I had a cabana to lend...

TreTime

Catalyst

4

Account Executive

With the quarter closing, it was the night before Christmas Eve when I logged a pivotal deal to get me to 101%.

The deal was one I was working for 6 months with no expectation of it closing because the C-Level had a hard on for a competitor, well the C-Level person moved out of the company and a champion previous buyer came into his role. After getting through to him and catching him up to speed where we’re at (just needed a John Hancock) he said he’d think about. WHAT! Then out of no where the night before Christmas Eve he sends me the signed contract and says “Merry Christmas” - that’s it.

Sent me to Pres club for the first time of my career. All from luck.

Happy St Patty’s savages!

UserNotFound

Politicker

4

Account Executive

Why do I not remember any last minute deals??? Too many white drugs? (yes.)

My favorite no-last-minute deal story is in my copier days - @RealPatrickBatemanI feel your pain- when I had a customer call me and lose his shit on me, actually made me cry (back when I still had feelings) and I got in my car, drove my 8months pregnant ass over to his office walked in and threw my bosses card down on his desk and said "If you want someone who you can talk to like that, you can deal with my male boss from now on. If you want to be a decent human being, I'm willing to continue to work with you but you may NEVER speak to me like that again"

It was as cathartic as it sounds. Also got this dude to pre-sign several orders and submit them himeslf while I was on maternity leave so them checks still came my way. *chefs kiss*

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

3

Officer of ♥️

me wishing I was an AE so I could participate, and comment something relevant

Fellow interning sdrs, I feel u, we're in this together, one day we will become real people.

TheLaughingWolf

WR Officer

0

Business Development Manager

I too wish I had a deal I could talk about. But the only relevant one would be from a retail gig many many moons ago

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

0

Officer of ♥️

One day we will shine

Jbeans

Opinionated

3

Director of Sales

Not gonna lie, I don’t have my glasses on, I thought this said “Spliff”. Come on over for a Spliff?!! I was getting my jacket on…

Sigh. But “spiff” and “spliff”are very diff things where I come from .

Now I’m sad. So I should win. Thanks .

10XQLA

Politicker

3

Medical Sales Assassin

Ok so in addition to being a polished med-surg sales rep I'm also a golf professional. So I'm like $578,000 short of president's club q3 of last year and I cold emailed 10 of my best customers and promised tickets to The Masters next 3 days I had 4 signed P.O.'s for $2.64 million...... Highly illegal and unethical but at the end of the day you must ask for the order!!! No risk it, no biscuit...

peachykeen

Politicker

1

sae e-commerce

Masters tix are literal GOLD. I grew up in Augusta so have had the privilege of going many, many times. I absolutely love it.

ppg

Catalyst

0

All around good guy

Did you get the deals done? Story doesn't tell...

10XQLA

Politicker

1

Medical Sales Assassin

Yes I did and then some....!!

mollybloomstanaccount

Politicker

3

AE (Account Executive)

LDOM before Memorial Day weekend so it was a half day, spent the morning battling over a lame partner objection. Gave prospect my cell so he could “talk to his partner” and lmk by EOD.

Plot twist he actually called me as I was leaving work and I sprinted into a deli to get write down his payment info and seal the deal 🏆

ppg

Catalyst

3

All around good guy

I sell windows and doors.

Guy, wife and designer come in the showroom in December 2021, he’s a commercial builder that sold his business to his son but is still involved, he’s in his 70s. His house being built is going to be over the $3M mark, just by looking at the plans…

Start the process with them, will be a real good deal, then realize I would have to sell out of my allowed territory… this was a 100K+ of windows and doors AND he likes our products so much he’s not even looking at competitors. This was a done deal!

I’m so mad, call my manager and we agree that we will have to send it to another dealer… as per corporate rules. Call the dealer and rep 3 times, leave messages, 2 weeks later, no answer from them.

Manager calls me, take the deal!

Now I’m extatique 🤩. Roller coaster of emotions. He finally decided on the most expansive options. 2 months of back and forth, he comes back from Florida his “winter house” says the price is expansive, I ask compared to what? They answer, it’s just more than we though… no objection past that.

I give him a 2% discount if he pays cash and upfront, he calls the office, confirms he will buy in his name and not the corp, signs a cheque on the spot. That’s a 10K commission cheque for me.

I’d take this kind of project all day long!

Justatitle

Big Shot

2

Account Executive

Last year Q4, had a prospect who said they wanted to buy and I was expecting redlines back for weeks and heard nothing. December 28th I get an email from their procurement department with a signed contract. Puts me over quota for the quarter and into pres club.

Pachacuti

Politicker

2

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

A number of years ago I was given a last minute opportunity participate on an Eco-Challenge team for a race in Malaysia (I'm in the US). Opportunity of a life time for me. But it would require 3 weeks away from work and I was just 1 year into a sales job at a growing Telecom company.

I approached my boss and he was ok with me taking the time off - I had to use my 2 weeks vacay + 1 week unpaid leave. But he said I needed to be at quota for the year, which I wasn't at that point. Quota was $5000/month of telecom services (LD, Data lines, etc,)

Killing myself for the couple months before the race, I was 1 week out before the trip and still not at quota. Then an idea hit me.

I had been speaking with a large call center for almost a year. Developed a solid relationship with the IT Manager. Had sold them a T1 line of data (when that was a big deal) and babysat the installation process to get it in on time.

I gave him a call and asked him about his current LD contract with a "Big name telecom company". It was for $75k/month of LD. I asked him how much they are doing today and it was over $100-125k/month (seems like an insane amount now for long distance).

So I offered to take over everything over the $75k contracted amount and give him a LD rate half of what they were paying with the incumbent.

He liked it and took it to his boss. I had a signed contract the day before I was slated to leave for my race and was at 200%+ of quota for the year.

I was going to go to the race no matter what, I just didn't know if I would come back to a job or not.

BigJohno95

Executive

1

BDR (Business Development Rep)

St. Paddy’s*

Epad

Executive

1

Snr Business Development Executive

Bless you sir!

DungeonsNDemos

Big Shot

1

Rolling 20's all day

Best story I have is on the last day of Q4 I had a PO for over $60K come in that I wasn't expecting until January.
They all the sudden decided that they didn't want to put the purchase into the next year's budget so they rushed the PO to get it in.
Made my day and my quarter!

RealPatrickBateman

Politicker

0

🔪Amateur Butcher🔪

Thanks @GeneralCorp, much appreciated. Thats honestly the first and last good thing that happened during my tenure there as a copier rep 🤣

ppg

Catalyst

0

All around good guy

@GeneralCorp Thanks for the honorable mention, too bad it didn't come with a spiff... I guess that's one way to "put a foot in the door" on this board... in reply to your "Bad pun VERY much intended" ;-)

It won't make me jump out the window, but hey, it's a start... https://youtu.be/6SvVULpULkc?t=76

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